Its been a while since ive been on here and i honestly thought i was coming out of depression and then the last week evreything seems to have gotten bad again. how have you guys been?
I really don’t feel like typing all of this out again, so I’m just gonna copy the text I sent my friend then eplain a little maybe
” Idk if I told u what happened Thursday but I don’t really wanna talk about it anymore. And today I was actually convinced that I didn’t exsist until Nick came up to be friendly which he will never know how much that meant to me. I’ve never been closer to a breakdown. Desks would have been flipped and then I’d probly fall to my knees and scream. I couldn’t take being shy in that moment. I had […]
If theres anything out there
That’s supposed to be watching over me
I’m going to rip your throat out when I die
Cuz you haven’t done a single thing for me
If ye be a guardian angel I’ll rip off your wings
If ye be a king of kings I’ll knock you off your throne
If ye be just some cosmic entity I’ll make your eternal existence as miserable as you made mine
If there be nothing at all and only I am to blame
It is all the same to me
Because then I’ll be dead and have nothing but abyss ahead
And my mind will […]
tap water has floride in it,you know what els floride is in?rat poisioning,dont believe me, next time you go to the store, look on the ingredients of rat poisioning, and look up what tap water has in it,they can do that, if the highest power government allows it and puts that in water, noone can make them get in troble, they are above everyone,they are above the law,
i was looking at the ingredients in my jar of penut butter, i looked one of the ingredients up, this is what it says(Copper sulfate is a commonly included chemical in children’s chemistry sets and is often used to grow crystals in schools and in copper plating experiments. Because of its toxicity, it is not recommended for small children. Copper sulfate is often used to demonstrate an exothermic reaction,Copper sulfate was also used in the past as an emetic.[16] It is now considered too toxic for this use.[17] It is still listed as an antidote in the 2
i did this last night
My whole life has been a battlefield. It’s just I am not like most people I know. Maybe I am way too sensitive for the kind of world I live in. I hate the ethics of how the world works, or possibly the lack of. Anytime I get out of my house I look around me  and think “Why do people choose to be bad?”… Yes, many people are simply bad people or just confused. Maybe if we had the answers to life after death, then maybe the world would work in unison, but obviously we’ll never know until we face death. Now I have […]
to my best friend,
you don’t exist
i don’t have a best friend
they all disappeared when i needed them the most
what happened?
what did i do wrong,
other than f***ing myself up?
if i could change the problems i have
i would,
but i cant.
why did you leave me?
i wasn’t going to hurt you
i wasn’t going to hurt anyone,
except myself
i don’t want to be all alone
but because you left me i am
i know I’m a *****
but i didn’t mean to be that mean.
why wont you come back?
i didn’t mean to drive you away.
i have […]
I am so tired, please can I sleep? I cannot take it anymore.
I search my entire life to find a home, somewhere, someone, to rest in. Why can’t the world let me be happy? Whenever I become happy about something, someone, I feel that everything goes out of its way to take that happiness away. This is why  it takes me a great amount of time to feel happy. But even still, you let it, them, into your arms again only to realize you were making it up the whole time. No matter how much you deserve happiness, nobody wants to give it to you.
Yesterday I […]
This is the final test of…. well I don’t really know.I am going back to the place where it all began.where it began and ended. I don’t know if I can take it without breaking down. to somepeople on here we sound happy in comments when we really are dying inside. for me music kinda helps sad or not. I personally like arms of an angel by Sarah mchlaughlan and emotionless by good Charlotte. but I am still partly dead inside.I said before I hated my dad. but honestly id rather feel.sadness/depression rather than hatred.
Im not happy with my life I wake and the very little sleep I do I think of how stupid living is I wish I could off myself and let the world know what a piece of shit it is. Hopefully one day I won’t be such a fucking coward and kill myself, maybe the world would b a better place
Try to keep going
Even though its tough
But the worst part is
Its just not enough
So i smoke a bowl
Forget the past
A drink or two
And hope it’ll last
But i sober up
And again its rough
Then that goddamn knife
Is never sharp enough
Hi everybody.
I am a young guy of 24 years old, I have just graduated from University with a straight degree in physics and to everyone it seems like the world is my oyster. But there is one thing that is holding me back- I can’t express how I feel.
My “friends” seem to think that I’m just a quiet, easy going guy. However it has caused a lot of heartache for my family, they think I just don’t care. I have a little brother who is crying out for some love and I feel that I’ve never been able to give it to him.I think I […]
I’m not suicidal, even though I have been in the past, but I want every one reading this to know they matter and that there are people around you who care and love you.
I lost one of my best friends just a week ago to suicide. He was depressed and under extreme pressure in his academic and social life. He didn’t believe that the girl he had been in love with for four years had any interest in him and that he was too dependent on her. She didn’t tell him while he was alive, but she loves him and thought that he deserved more […]
Since my last boyfriend broke up with me, I deal with suicidal thoughts. There are times that I am happy, but they are really short. It looks like every boy I love and loves me back, just replace me for someone else. It really hurts and even though they say I’m so nice and I will find someone else, I never find someone. To make things ever worse; my granddad and grandma died. And my uncle is going to die as well. People at school know a bit of my problems. But not everything. I don’t want them to help me. I’m a big girl. […]
I hate how he name calls.
I hate how he doesn’t trust me.
I hate how he puts me down.
I hate how controlling he is.
I hate how he has uncontrollable anger.
I hate how he thinks he’s better than me.
I hate how he makes me feel dumb.
I hate how he let’s his friends put me down.
I hate how he talks badly about my family.
I hate how he sometimes doesn’t take me seriously.
I HATE how he has changed.
I love how he has gorgeous green eyes.
I love how he has the cutest smile.
I love how he has good […]
For the past year, the past fucking year, this guy and I have been trying to hang out to try to get back together. Our plans have never really work out but at least we keep trying. He’s always been an on and off douche though. He’ll say he wants to be together then the next week he never texts me. I don’t know why I keep trying to get back together with him though.
Today though, I learned he made out with a girl over memorial weekend. To make it even better, I already hate this girl cause she made my friend and her boyfriend […]
i been told a dozen times to stop pushing everyone away,but i feel like its the only way i can tell whos real anymore,if they truely care and they know im just protecting myself, then them are the real people that will come back untill i give up pushing them away,i just dont care anymore,im gonna push every one away before they get the chance to push me away,it hurts less knowing its my choice,and i dont want to know the next person or people that are gonna hurt me,why would iwant to know something like that,i already know im worthless, i dont have to […]
today I feel incredibly weak. I’m trying to get on track by forcing myself to eat and work out and keep busy but today I feel like I’m staring at the finish line, hesitating to cross it.
Work is tedious, there’s too much of it, keeps me overly busy. Leaves me with large gaps of time to think about the idea of working and how stupid it is for me to be doing it considering that I want my life ended.
I think the same thing about my life; why bother, because I don’t want any of this? I don’t want to save my game, but just […]
God. I’m sitting here in math class. My grades are slowly dropping. In everything. Its the end of the year, I just feel like it’s no use even trying anymore.
I don’t want to go on grade 11 just to fail or be close to failing again. It’s been like this my whole life. School is a mess. And so is life