Hi everyone.. I’m new here and i really need to get some stuff off of my chest. Apparently, i’ve been dealing with nothing but family problems. Mostly it’s between me and my mom and I’m tired of it. All the time she yells at me. Mainly, she just verbally abuses me; always she’ll throw my stuff on my bedroom floor and tells me to pick up. Like really? She’s the one who dropped it so why should i? And when i don’t do something right she’ll yell and call me stupid names: idiot, *****, ************, useless child, and so on. My dad thinks that it’s […]

The start of my first “rant”,
Hm I’m not to good at typing things up about my problems but I’m even worse at trying to talk about them, so here this goes!
First off I just wanted to say please do not judge me or think of me as a horrible person for these disgusting facts I will probably type out,
Appreciated.

Well, for most of my life it’s been pretty hard on my family (mum & dad) especially after my sister was born it just got harder, it’s seemed like they have always struggled with money really bad.
My dad used to work away up […]

I make this question every day to myself, for something like 8 years. 8 years ago.. i came to italy, with my mother. My parents devorced when i was 3 y.o. and from then i lived with my granparents in russia. My mother gone to italy when i was 5 y.o. and i barely never seen my father till i was 10, then my mom took me with her in italy. she lived with an  italian guy, antonio. when i came to italy, he trowed us on street, with no money, without a reason. Thanks to some friends, we found a home for a month, […]

k I crushed pills… put them in a sandwich.. ick! threw it away and had to chug soda after the first bite. so I crushed even more and mixed it in with yogurt and it didn’t taste that bad so i took like one bite then went to get a drink and when I did my grandfather said we could go out for lunch. If he hadn’t, i would’ve finished the yogurt… oh well. I’m not worth them knowing my misery. they don’t care anyways… no one cares but my mom… What would she think? and my puppy in Florida too… I miss my Bella… […]

kso i am a bisexual girl but no ones knows i am. the reasson no ones knows is because at somepoint most people in my  life said the dont like people that are in the LGBT community. i want to tell everyone now but i cant because they dont like LGBT people as much as people who are straight. my stepdad raised since i was born but his family and himself are against LGBT. my mom isn’t because in her culture(and mine) LGBT are seen as more superior. but i dont know if i should tell everyone now.

‘Oh, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you.’

‘In the grander scheme of things, you are really insignificant.’

‘You’re too young.’

‘How can you expect anyone to care for you, to love you, if you don’t love yourself?’

‘We’ve spent this much money on you, the least you can do is pay us back.’

Yeah. Okay. I comprehend that. I don’t stop thinking about them for a moment.

But I’m 19 years old and I am tired. I am tired of clawing my way through classes, I am tired of not being able to look anyone in the eye because I’m afraid of them, I am tired of not wanting to […]

I plan to leave this world tonight wen everyone is asleep ,I will hang myself from a tree in the park ,sorry cant take Any more,just practised it seems really easy

I typed out a million different ways to start off the breaking in of my first post here, the only thing I could think of was “hey so I tried to kill myself this one time” that’s what it came down to.

Kind of sad to think I made all the effort to sign up to this and yet that’s all I can think to say. So let me tell you my story.

It may not be as eccentric or shocking a most people’s here but I’m not looking for a condition. I’m just going to give the honest truth.

I work hard for everything I’m not […]

Since i was a kid, i was taught to always treat everyone nice, be helpful, and loving. That true joy comes from making others happy, that if you are good and nice, good things will reflect back on you, that the harder things are the better chance you got to prove how strong you are in fighting against the evilness of the world, i was trying to be the super hero which will spread love and care.

Myself always came second, didnt matter, as long as i can make those who i can happy, I can stand against those who hurt me.. The pain began ever […]

Today is just one of those days where I want to die.

Once I was a girl young and naive
Full of hopes and dreams.
Now the hope has gone and reality has set in.
Can’t go back to the past and right the wrongs that make my heart bleed.
So acceptance is what I seek.
I know I can’t keep looking back seeking what I can not have.
Yet unless I go back and change what is set in stone my future is so bleak.
So know I’m living but without the will cause my heart is already stolen and can not be found.

Death is my comfort
Death is my joy
A safe place of peace I must employ.
I’m not frightened I’m not scared
Just a longing that’s to hard to be fair.
They say I should be stronger the say I should fight
but they do not know what is in my sight.
So when will it come this day I desire
And end this life of burning fire.

Tonight I won’t lie about it, I won’t hide from it. I LOVE you end of story. I’m finally crying for once and I feel a little bit. I just want to tell you that I forgive you and I love you and I want to be with you. But that would be so selfish of me and I can’t be selfish with you. I love you too much, you were unhappy with me and I couldn’t bare to know that I cause you that unhappiness. I know who you were and who you became I know that you’ve become an awful person who did awful […]

well, I found this side by myself. I am 18 years old girl with no friends..I always try to be nice to everyone. sadly they only come to me when they need help.  I’ve been bullied since I was in the kindergarten. my family didn’t care about this..they just said that I can make it. this is made me so stressful.  till junior high school I went to home schooled, I admit it was good. but I can’t find any friends. till now, I don;t have any best friend in my life. walk in mall alone, no one stand beside me, I am human too, […]

I’m 23, turning 24 in a month.  I haven’t made any progress in life in 6 years, and it’s gotten to the point I can’t motivate myself to leave the house.  It takes me effort to eat a small amount of food each day.  I haven’t had friends in years.  My family has pretty much given up on me.  They stopped trying to understand, or make me happy a few years ago.  I’ve become a burden on them emotionally and monetarily.  I plan to commit suicide, but I’m terrified that it would fail and I’d end up even worse than I am now.  I have […]

Hi.  I found this site completely by accident.  I thought I would say something.  Forgive me if it is a bit scattered.  I guess I should not complain really.  I have more material things than some.  I just feel so alone.  I am so unsure why I am here.  I really serve no purpose.  Honestly, I don’t.  I want to leave so bad, but reading some of the posts, I also feel if I try to kill myself and fail, then what then, I will be a burden.  I just don’t fit in anywhere.  I honestly do not want to be like everyone else; the […]

I’m over how my parents think they can treat me like I’m 2 I’m 15 when are they going to realize I’m growing up I’m gonna do shit weather they like it or not. Its pathetic how I can’t even go to a friends house cause they don’t know the parent but yet when it comes to my 11 year old sister its ok for her to go out and hang out with her friends … and while I have to stay home and take care of the house.. my parents havnt been around much for 15 yrs I basicly raised my baby sister i. […]

My entire life seems cursed with pain, unfairness and shortcomings. My dad died when I was 14 and my grandparents were dead before I was born. My mom has tried hard to raise me right but she had to work 2 jobs my entire childhood and spent most of her free time with her boyfriend away from our home. In a nutshell I had to teach myself everything without much of a role model. During high school I turned to drinking beer and during my senior year I averaged an 18 pack of beer per night. My grades failed miserably and I never really had […]

RANT-LONG!

My life sucks.  But then again who’s doesn’t, right?  Lately I struggle for a reason to live every day.  I don’t need anymore freaking guilt trips, so don’t add to my damned problems please!

I am a 29 yr old mother of three.  That’s why I am still alive today.  That’s it.  But its hard to hold onto that when I feel like all my mistakes are messing up their lives.  Do you ever feel like King Midas?  But where everything you touch turns to shit?  I do every day, and I am sure to hear about it too.

What made my life like this doesn’t matter.  […]

What a funny name for a flower, that’s what I want my family to recieve at my funeral. They can throw it on my casket, cry, weep, and moan. Whatever. I know it’s really awful to do this, but they can’t seem to notice, hey something is wrong with her. Look at that fake smile. I’m not as brave as everybody else, ballsy, I can’t do the antifreeze or overdose or self mutalate. It scares the living day lights out of me. My fear would be a coroner say “this girl lived a pathetic life and took the easy way out.” I care too much […]