This is the second time I’ve told someone. Someone that is close to me. My boyfriend. He told me he didn’t like my attitude, and that it was crappy. He told me that I changed. When really I thought I could show my true self. I told him that I was sorry and that I would go back to pretending my life was perfect and that nothing was wrong. His words, “thank you”. Never again will I tell anyone that I thought cared. I wish I was dead. I can’t do this anymore. The person I should’ve been able to trust most. I’m letting go…of […]
I’m 19 and I’m debating whether to commit suicide. I have tried it a few times in the past but obviously failed.
I missed out on what’s supposed to be the best years of my life (high school) due to PTSD and now I’m left with no friends, no qualifications and a unsupportive family who refer to me as the weird one. They do nothing but bring me down and try and dash my spirits. It’s hard to believe it but they are the only reason I haven’t actually succeeded at suicide.
I’ve been to get help for over 5 years now at a few […]
everything that happens in my life goes the wrong way. you dont know what you’ve got ’till its gone. i cant even think anymore of whats wrong or right. im too lazy to think of something knowing i will kill myself eventually one day. or be in the risk of it. i have no friends, no job, cant even drive. no social or sex life. i hate being the way i am, i feel a huge resentment of being gay. i get good opportunities up in myface, but i cant get them due to my health conditions ,and i just have no time to have a social life, […]
No one gives a shit about me
No one knows
They wouldn’t understand
They won’t even know when I’m gone
I’m invisible
No one wants to help me
I just can’t talk to anyone
I can’t ask for help
Is this you?
Do you feel cutoff, alone, separate from the rest?
But It’s not you, really it isn’t.
You are not a bad person, you did not cause everyone to hate you and ignore you.
(I can hear your self talk cutting in now, please read my post called the Voice)
It’s a symptom of a condition.
You may have little control over the condition and it’s symptoms […]
And if you could talk to me, Tell me if it’s so, That all the good girls go to heaven, Well, Heaven knows….
I’ve had enough. I want to do it, sooner rather than later. I woke up today and started crying at the thought of school and OCD and life, I kinda get the feeling that I won’t be waiting for my ‘date’.
What i don’t really understand is that when you tell someone you’re suicidal, they nearly always say ‘Don’t do it, I don’t want you to’ To some people this doesn’t matter because we are so far along in our state of depression that it goes in one ear and out the other, We don’t understand what we are doing to people. It’s like some form […]
My Last post was “The Ugly Duckling”. That was in the Beginning of April. For the first few weeks things have gotten better. I haven’t thought of suicide, I was really happy, but then yesterday i feel like things changed. All just for this stupid comment this guy said. Then the suicide thoughts came back. I was talking to my friend and i said, “this is the first bad comments i ever gotten on my report card”. this guy turned around towards me and said “oh this is your first bad comment? is it about your hair?” Then everyone started laughing. Because this one simple stupid comment he said […]
Sometimes I think, would the world really be THAT much different if I were dead? My answer always points to no.
It’s one less mouth to feed.
One less kid to clothe.
One less voice to hear.
One less problem to solve.
One less person to bully.
One less burden in their way.
One less mistake that was made.
Would I really make a difference? No.
i’m hoping this girl will change her mind once she reads my message on her phone. hope you know i mean. I’ll get her attention but i really want to end my life that i don’t deserve love or anything. there is more thoughts why i want to kill myself hope everyone message me and hope that girl i really like change her mind about me
Yes, I am in college. But, I still want to commit suicide.
I have no life and no friends. I have no job, and I was raised with a silver spoon in my mouth, per se. But now, the spoon is out of my mouth because of the unfortunate situation of my mom losing her job that she loves permanently. That job of my mom made myself not care about my spending and my lifestyle. I do not do ANYTHING beneficial to my life, and now all of my family is disappointed of me. I wish I was raised strictly, like getting a job as soon […]
They all leave. Everyone leaves.
My dad left me to have other kids because I wasn’t good enough.
My mom left because helping hundreds of other people were more important than seeing me grow up.
Friends left because they found me to be weird, or just didn’t feel like hanging out with me anymore.
“Boyfriends” left because I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, sexually enough for them.
Everyone I knew have left and abandoned me. Physically and emotionally.
I’m pretty sure those that I know today will do the same as well. They always do.
I’ll just end up alone anyway.
She was 15 years old. I didn’t know her that well but I knew her well enough to know she deserved better. She was a good person. Smart, funny, kind, maybe a bit shy at times, and an amazing person. She went to a private school on a scholarship, and she deserved to. She committed suicide, and I can understand why. I know that feeling like there is nothing in the world that could possibly make you feel good. Like there isn’t a person or animal who cares if you live or die. I just hope she is happy now. Rest in peace Charlotte Anna […]
Had a semi-good day 🙂 Im in the GSA(Gay Staight Alliance) at my school and we did a day of silence today to honor those who could not stand up and speak for themselves out of fear. I held out for the whole day! We had little signs we wore to say why we werent talking, of couse ignorant people always screw things up, i was asked, more like harrased 6 different times today about if i was gay or bi (im not but i havevfriends who r) oh well theres always dumbasses in the world.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2tdunyWMV1qknotgo1_1280.jpg
^my story in 20 words or less.
Love.
rainbow
Someday, when the sky is blue,
and the flowers start to bloom;
When the birds start to fly and sing,
and the clouds don’t hide the sun;
Someday, when the fear has past,
and the tears have gone away;
When the hate and anger start to fade,
In that day I will be safe.
Someday I’ll not have to hide,
or pretend everything is okay;
I’ll not have to fake a smile,
to make it through the day.
Someday, when the sky is blue,
the storms will still come around.
But I’ll have joy and peace and love,
and keep myself safe and sound.
I have a friend who cuts herself and she is thinking about committing suicide. She told me about her life and I then compared it to my life. I found they were the same. We both have cuts on our bodies and our fathers abuse us. She can’t do anything without getting thrown somewhere. My father just takes his belt off and whips me with it.  I told my mom that he abuses me and she ignored me. I told her I wanted to kill myself and all she said was, “God doesn’t except those who kill themselves.” Lot of help that did. I haven’t tried yet […]
I have so many of the warning signs of suicide it’s not funny.
Severe depression (always there, but worse now),
sudden reckless behavior (I had sex with a complete stranger),
sudden change in appearance (I dyed my hair blue)
inability to sleep
severe anxiety
social isolation
impulsive actions (I just got 65 stitches)
researching suicide on the internet
I feel like a helpless, hopeless burden, I have no reason to live. The only reason I have for not killing myself is that I need to repent from my reckless, impulsive sexual behavior.
If anyone was paying attention they would be very worried….
….but they’re not.
I’m at the point that I just don’t want anything to do with anybody I hate everyone I’m in a dark whole and can not get out there is no way of getting out there is no exit what’s so ever. I just don’t want to try no more iv done everything I can to try fix this but nothing works I cut until there is no where else to cut iv lost a lot of people throughout my life iv tried to commit suicide I was rushed to hospital 3 times they set me up with Mental Health I hate it I never want […]
everyday bring on a new struggle , i always just get by. i dont live , i exist. tomorrow im supposed to be in this fashion show [they didnt pick me, i just entered ,] im so scared i have to walk in front of god nos how many ppl. nothing you say will make me less anxious. i want out but i ve came ths far an my dad paid a small fee, omg im such a coward but i feel sick and nervous
I grew up in a small town of Michigan, Were people knew eachother, but the people in the town were druggies, whores, sexist, and horrible.
Every day id go into school hoping ill be ok, but nooooo i cant have 1 Damn good day, i got made fun of, got my ass handed to me, and rumores went around that i was a prostitute
Now all of this didnt bother me, untill my “bestfriend” started doing it. She was really the only person i had, my parents didnt care, my siblings didnt believe me. so at that point i had nobody
ive been smoking ciggs […]
I’m 17. I make decent grades. But not great grades. What do I have going for me? It seems like my mom and I are constantly fighting and any person I try having a relationship with, I just scare them off. Someone told me my sophomore year that if I killed myself, no one would notice. I’ve been gone for aweekfrom school due to training for my job. Not one person has said that they miss me. When do I find hapiness and joy like everyone else? And if I will find hapiness and joy one day, why do I have to wait through all […]