I left your daddy or at least the guy i think is your dad (or it could b my crazy abusive ex) because i wanted a better life for you. I dont want you growing up thinking having drugs in the house is ok that people coming in and out is alright. I left because you deserve to be happy n safe. Im here now just you my little tot and me against the world. Im sorry i didnt make better decisions sooner im sorry you have to grow up without a daddy like mommy did. Im sorry i fell in love with another guy […]

I found someong who loves me scars and all am I finaly feel A little bit happy again but sothing me still wants to cut even if i’m happy its lik i’ve done it so long it just feels right. If he ever found out he would probaly leave me but how am suppost to stop when thats always on my mind and every thing around me seems to be able to help me do it?! what am i suppost to do…

Sometimes I forget what it’s like to be happy. Actually, that’s most of the time. I’m losing my mind. For real. Diagnosed schizophrenia. I miss clear thoughts. I miss not thinking I’m going crazy. Sorry for my ramblings.

I couldn’t fix you I am so sorry I can’t fix anyone I just mess everything up I am so sorry I wish things were better than they are. You are one of my best friends. I should be able to help you I ruin everything. I am so sorry. I love you,.

I’ve been asked before why I cut myself, and I’d never wanted to tell anyone, because I can’t find a way to say it without breaking down, but as I sit in my bed, in my room all alone, I can finally answer that question.  I do not want to die.  I know that makes no sense, for me to hurt myself in order to stay alive, but let me explain.  I can’t live like everything is okay, because it’s not.  I take in everything, every name I’ve been called, every rumor about me, every story that isn’t true, and every event that has ever […]

every time i read stories from this site it makes me want to cry cuz i feel for you guys and it makes me feel bad that so many of you are so sad… i wish i could do more to help you guys but i can try my best… we r all friends here, weather we know it or not….

Feet don’t fail me now
Take me to the finish line
All my heart, it breaks every step that I take
But I’m hoping that the gates,
They’ll tell me that you’re mine
Walking through the city streets
Is it by mistake or design?
I feel so alone on a Friday night
Can you make it feel like home, if I tell you you’re mine
It’s like I told you honey

Don’t make me sad, don’t make me cry
Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough
I don’t know why
Keep making me laugh,
Let’s go get high
The road is long, we […]

This small white oval looks stark on my kitchen table. It delicately sits there promising me so much. Pacifying me with prospects of sound sleep, resulting maybe in a gawping vacant stare and some dripping saliva. I feel cheated somehow. My years of toil, of experience, my scars dissolved by this little white oval. What am I if not the sum of my parts. Broken and strained they may be, but mine none the less. I toil over my toil and remain unresolved.

some of my friends think I’m getting worse.. i can feel it too… it so hard! why is it have to be hard! ya no body said life would be easy. but i never thought it would be this hard…
my “group” of friends all know what they want to do when they’re older and done high school…. but i have no clue! and ya i know I’m only 14 and i have LOTS of time to figure it out. but do i really? high school goes by so fast… soon i’ll be in grade 12 and still with no idea what to do….
its […]

So called fathers be a man and appreciate your sons or daughters..to me you aint even a dad your dead to me you could drop low and it wont mean shit to me. Iwasnt shit to you talking about how I cant be nothing, icant do nothing and way more, even hit me at a young age but not now cuz you know I aint afraid of you ill kill you you baster, so for those who have a real good father appreciate it !

I don’t know why but today I felt hopeful and optimistic and confident.

And while the world has thrown some good social interaction at me today, I am bombarded with this crippling discouragement. In any other way, she would react like everyone else today, accepting! But no matter how many people laugh with me, or are nice to me today, she is mentally pushing me aside.

Why? Why can’t my good feelings be rewarded? I don’t want to be depressed again, and yet, whenever I am happy I become attacked.

I need help! I feel I’m in the inbetween, and I don’t want to drown again! Please don’t […]

so another great day at skool… i shut myself down during my first class and couldn’t function mentally.i found out that next week sometime i will have to disect a frog… the only problem is that im afraid of the fact i will be holding a sharp object and i will have to fight my impulses. so after that somebody handed me a stapler… you have no idea how much i wanted to staple my fingers… just to feel the pain, to know i was still alive still human. thats one reason y i cut myself… to know im still alive and human. so my […]

When I was little my mom and dad would fight, a lot. And that would always end with my dad yelling at my mom and then him hitting her. He would hit her right in front of me and she would cry, and then I would cry. And then my dad would ask me why I’m crying because I’m not the one who’s being hit. It’s been awhile since then and somewhere along the way he stopped being abusive, they still fight and he still yells but he doesn’t hit her anymore. He does sometimes hit me though, one time he slapped me because I […]

I know it will it is just the details I want to fill in. I see knifes and I get ideas. I see my moms diabetic medication and I get ideas. I go to school I walk upon the top of the staircase and I see the bottom and I  get ideas.  I today held a knife and pointed it to my chest. I know I’m not afraid of dying. I’m sick of being treated like shit. I am infected with the misery decease which was stung into my heart by the needle of destruction. I see my money and I see guns online and I […]

I listened. I broke it off with my cousin. I couldn’t sleep at night, had many panic attacks. This is very problematic. I think I made a mistake. She probably hates me now, well at least I will get a psychiatrist sometime soon. I just texted her and she hasn’t answered, anxiety is coming back at school. Never had a public panic attack. I’m worried. 

I think i fucked up bad, breaking up with jasmine. She’s my cousin but these intense feelings are real, as real as pain, and until they go away, then I still feel love for her. Mot just plain lust. Yeah, she […]

Things going better and worst at the same time… I solved some of my problems, but some of them seems won’t change for a long time… My brother lost all control and using psychological violence against me. Its so hard to handle. I do everything for the familly.. But he keeps saying i am nothing,  stupid *****, dirty, dumb idiot and so on.. He even keep saying that when my friends hear.

So sad.. Once, he was an idol for me. Now, i want to delete him from my life totally. Good that mother is dead and doesn’t […]

i’m new here and i will get straight to the point: i suffer from depression that is killing me, i feel so insecure, so doubtfull of myself and i sometimes hate myself for who i am and i’m afraid what will become of me. i just have this feeling and i just can’t turn it around. i have been bullied at class, and i’ve got no friends in my class. they all think i’m weird because i listen to heavy metal music and R&B music together. i don’t like hiphop and that kinda crap and that’s why people in my class think i’m weird cause […]

First of all I would like to point out I left school about a year ago and I have been looking for a job and getting nowhere, had a couple of interviews but had no luck with that.
I live in a tiny village where I dont know many people so it means getting family to drive me 11 miles to town so I can meet my mates. Only problem is all my mates are guys, I don’t get on with girls. So because im only really interested in getting drunk Its usually with a few guys every week along with my older brother who […]

I guess that those of you reading this have probably heard this a thousand times but i’m going to say it anyway why can’t i be normal? I see people in the streets smiling and getting on with life all happily and yet i’ve been condemned to my own personal hell. I thought that if i blamed people (such as my parents) that i would feel better as i would have someone/something to hate, give my life some sort of purpose. I fooled myself into believing i could be ‘somebody, that i could love life and seize every moment but i can’t. I’ve screwed up […]

Hi there I checked into a nice hotel on the waterfront in Eastbourne to plan to grab a taxi to Beachy Head. Unfortunately I got to the cliff edge and was approached by the dreaded Chaplains who then proceeded to call the Police and I was put in a cell for 7 hrs “for my own safety”. Which was not a lot of fun. I was searched and detained. The cops were super pleasant and felt good that they had saved my ass. The police in Eastbourne are all oddly good looking and it was like a scene form csi NY.

I then was assessed by […]