I am a burden on everyone that I love, and it would be best if I wasn’t around at all to bother anyone anymore.

I cant tell if i even matter anymore. I hate how my parents wont let me be with him… he means just so much to me and i cant date him because of his race. I feel so lost… he means the world to me. I have never really been the favorite child. The youngest is the favorite and all i am is just some teenager who is being yelled at all the time im the last to be thought about and yet i do everything…. what use am i?????

I don’t like challenges. I don’t like obstacles. I don’t like trying for something unless there’s a guarantee. I don’t like vague goals that sound like monthly horoscopes.

However, life is full of challenges and obstacles. And now I’m getting the impression that somehow, the idea is that overcoming these obstacles is supposed to be one’s goal in life; that I’m supposed to strive to better myself and I’ll be all the better for it.

But, I’m a risk-averse person. I don’t like challenges. I don’t like obstacles. I don’t like trying for something unless there’s a guarantee. […]

I want to die. I don’t understand why, but I am getting so close. I am only 16 year old… but in the past year I have completely fell apart mentally. Starving, vomiting, cutting. Flashbacks, tears, pain. I’m so tired of it. I am in counseling but I don’t want to open up. I can’t open up. I’ve really tried, but it’s so painful. My parents didn’t care until they were forced to. I don’t talk at home. The last few months I have been trying to hold on for everyone who loves me. I am trying, trying so hard to focus on that. No […]

Its not being scared to kill yourself. Its waiting for it to happen and actually coming up with plan. Buying the pills and the razor. Thats the worst.

I’m sick and tired of putting on an act every day of my worthless life.. to my friends and family I am just a happy 20 year old guy.. inside im fucking dying, i can’t find any good in this world no matter how hard I try and I certainly wouldn’t dare express my opinions of this messed up world to my friends or family, as it would be alien.

Im living a lie and cheat myself time and time again, have fuck all motivation….I feel a hatred that nobody knows I feel… everything and everyone seems to get on my nerves. I want to leave […]

Why is it that ALL I feel is pain?
My days are always getting flooded full of rain.
I say this bathtub is blooded, watchin all this blood drip.
Just ONE more cut across maybe down both wrists.
My wish, is to be in my world.
This is the most I’ve ever bled, my brain is getting fed up with all this bull shit.
Maybe I should get a pistol and find that full clip.
Yeah!, I think that’ll work, but then again I want the pain to hurt. I like slow pain.
Just one more cut, I promise this is IT.
Where’s my pills […]

i’ve been thinking about this for a really long time..
and i think i’m finally gonna go through with it.

it’s about time, i’m ready.

No one can really figure out your issues for you. I hope you all understand that. We can all just guide you and be there with you along the way. Giving you support and caring for you every step of the way. You just have to learn that you’re valuable and you can be happy and realize life is more than what it seems right now. So don’t just quit on life now. Try. If you need someone to be there… you can always ask me for help, and I’m sure many others on this website will be there to help.

• I’ve had insomnia for about 7 years now. No pills taken. Sometimes 2 or 3 hours sleep at night (nightmares definitely)
• Mood swings
• Can’t stay in a relationship (one person around all the time makes me anxious and hysterically angry after a while, specially after having sex)
• Anger attacks since I was a teenager
• Used to smoke for about 5 years (I suddenly couldn’t stand its smell, so quit a year ago)
• Been suicidal for a year (no attempts yet but been studying and planning, considering my options) the thoughts become stronger when I’m happier and everything is in its place
• Used to have hallucinations […]

It has become so bad that I don’t think I will have to do myself in. My body will simply cease to function due to lack of will. Even the act of breathing seems too big of a chore anymore, and I pray with each breath that it will be the last. I only hope I suffer in the end. A quick demise would rob me of the only feeling I enjoy, pain. An excruciating death, the ultimate pain, please come for me quickly.

I just dont know what to do with myself. what the fuck am i still doing here?

well i found out my friend died… i don’t know if he remembered me becuz we haven’t talked in a while.. i hope he does  cuz i’ll always remember him and what he was like and how he helped me… why do ppl i care about always leave?

mt sister still beats me… tho its usually for “fun..”

my mom and dad think I’m getting better, tho I’m not… a few friends help me. tho some don’t… they say they care about me yet they treat me like shit… i wouldn’t mind if they were nice to me when I’m going threw this  or helped me….

i cry […]

Why Am I Tall? , Why Am I Sad? Daddy Why Are You Mad? Mom Will You Ever Undertsand? Why Cant I Fit A Size Two? Why Does It Look Like I Belong At The “Zoo” Why Am I Stupid? WHY AM I STILL LIVING ?????? Why Do I Search For Love? Kisses And Hugs? Why Am I Always Teased ? Why Am I Ugly Fat And Teased?? 🙁

I can’t stop thinking, my mind is going a million miles per hour.
I can’t help but thinking that my time on this planet is coming closer and closer to the end.
Who cares about the other people in your life who might be “hurt” if you just kill yourself. They don’t give a fuck about you or your feelings while you’re alive so why should it matter when you die?
Do they ever stop to think of the kind of emotionall distress they put on us? If they really loved us things would be different. Hopefully they can keep in mind that suicide is […]

the pain has become more then i can handle. i need it to stop! i need it to go away!!!1 please!

i want to kill myself  but i can’t do that to the ppl in my life…. i can’t. but i can’t keep going on like this. i haven’t cut in a while  tho i badly want to!  but i know cutting isn’t enough anymore.

almost every other 14 year old girl in the whorl don’t have to go through this, why do i?  want to die  i want the pain to go away, PLEASE make it stop, please?

-Morgan….RawrImaTurtle

congradulations dad. you fucked up again. getting married without asking me about it first… making us move into this bug infested disgusting thing you freaks call a house. the walls are rotted. there is no cell phone service. i have a tiny room compared to the one i had before. i have to leave my stuff shoved under my bed and crammed in the closet because there is nowhere to fit it all. your room is worse than mine. and you yell at me and ground me because my stuff “isnt where its supposed to be”. im sick of it. why do my thoughts suddenly […]

So today was a disaster.  And it’s only starting. I was supposed to see my doctor today.  And as much as I have been dreading it, today, when I didn’t have it, I realized just how much I had been relying on it.  Just trying to hold on until there was help.  But there isn’t any.  I cried and cried.  I missed the train.  I had cut myself in the train station bathroom.  Then while I was waiting for the train I felt the blood moving down my leg and realized I had to do something to stop it or else I was going to […]