Would you look upon another man’s darkness, and tell him what he sees?
I would not.
Though I do understand your anger. Angry, I would be too, if years of hard yellows and laborious blues had been scratched out by an easy black.
An easy, fatal black.
Tomorrow shall be a positive day.
Tomorrow I shall rise at 6am to go running in the park.
Tomorrow I shall tidy my living area, even sweep away the dusts of time. The aching grains of sand.
Tomorrow I will not smoke any cigarettes, or play my guitar, for I worry that these objects will kill me. One […]

The Suicide Project is a website devoted to allowing people to share their stories of desperation and depression… and ultimately of hope. We hope that by allowing people to share their stories of despair with one another, they can find a reason to live, a reason to survive another minute. Another hour. Another day.

Life was always such a *****, i was dirt. Every second of every day, i always ended up hurt.

I wanted to commit suicide more then ever, i swore my life would never get any better.

Things didn’t change, life just felt so strange.

I just dug a hole in my heart, let it rot and get infested with pure dark.

I was in hell, just rotting away. Then one certain day, [life re-arranged] .

I got better, i smiled more. I opened thousands of new doors.

I got me a girl, fell in love. Then just like that, we were done.

I haven’t stopped smiling, even though my whole life, i was always crying.

Things got better for me, just as it […]

I sit here in amazement as this beautiful world passes on by, just so slow, drifting along, like clouds floating through the sky. I’m seeing the future get created right in front of my eyes, I see so many brilliant people, doing such amazing things. Beautiful things, and everything is just too amazing. The beauty of what is going on is just to much for my undeserving eyes, i want to die, for the fact alone. Life is to amazing, and i’m here. I am undeserving of what has been bestowed on me, people everyday, every second want to die, and do, while i sit […]

We were playing truth or dare last night, then moved on to dare, or double dare?

Its finally my turn, i say: “zanders, dare, or double dare?” “Double dare”, he replies back to me.

“Alexander, I double dare you, to give me your eternal soul.” Gladly, he reaches for my hand, so i cut his, then mine, then we shake. Just like that, I gained his soul, poor guy was willing to give it out, if only he knew what it meant.

i can’t do anything right, ever since i was a little kid, i was always picked on because my sisters and never fit in, im always depressed and no body will send me to a psychologist, i cant handle it though all i do is try and get nowhere, 🙁 and all the picking on from when i was little made me insecure and now it caused me to lose the best thing i had in my life, i dont know what to do i seriously want to jump off a bridge.

I hate being pitied. Just those sympathetic looks people give me. Or when they pass by me in the hall and ask “How are you feeling?” & “Are you okay??” I’m feeling terrible & no, I’m not okay. Not that you’d know either way. I can fake a smile just as easy as I can fake my life. Don’t try & act like you understand me, no one does. I’ve made it this far already withOUT you, realize that. I don’t need your pity-_-
^What I wish I could say.

ive tried everything people have told  me to do and i am getting no where my mom is still hitting me and she wont stop or minimize the amount and i just dont no wat else to do extept die because 1) if i dont kill myself then she will do it for me.2) i dont want to be alive and 3) i WANT TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i mean im sure someone on here will agree with me ………….right

if u have a idea in wat i should do comment on this post and tell me  so i guess i will talk to u guys on my comments.

I’m 95% certain I’m gonna leave this world by my own hands

already tried to leave around last christmas .. I ingested some highly toxic substance (used to unblock sinks) hoping it’d damage my stomach .. all I did was throw up (2-3 times) and I lost the ability to taste for a week

this time, I’m going to hang myself

but for some reason, I keep postponing this even though I have no attachment to this world nor am afraid of what awaits me on the other side

(I believe death is “just” a transition between the physical world & other planes of reality)

I feel like if my […]

So theres this guy, and hes kinda REALLY creepy.

We supposedly used to have play dates together, which nasts me out .

A couple years ago (i was about 15) I was basically forced to sit with him at space aliens restaurant (lol dont ask). My brother and his friend were thankfully sitting with me and it…till they LEFT to hit the arcade.

Now this guy is always staring, like he makes it obvious, like in a disrespectful way.

Hes not the best looking guy in my opinion.

He made me feel so uncomfortable, he said “are you normally this quiet”?

“I said well I dont really know you.”

(AND dont reaally […]

Things would be so much easier if I knew how to not care what people think. Im waay to sensitive.

I just wanna be able to open up and let people help.

HOW DO I NOT GIVE A SHT (within reason)  I am so desperate because I’m in a constant state of paranoia/fear/guilt. My hearts always racing aswell as my thoughts, which hinders my concentration when Im working. I dont eat much at all because the nervousness suppresses my appitite, I dont think this is a panic attack because its always there> I think I have an overactive amygdala, (always wired/startles easily even when anticipating, crys over […]

In the darkness you see a light

A gun and a single shot is in sight.

Both hands for the table you reach

You smile and think of that day at the beach.

You load the gun and give it a spin

*Click* it seems this time you win.

You on the table your blinking phone

along with that beautiful and subtle tone.

You open the phone and there it reads,

“You are a good friend Zeke, indeed.”

But your feelings for her are infinitely more

Even when you look down the center of this bore.

Your purpose in life seems to be complete

To be a friend to someone that is  joyful and sweet.

You give it a […]

When you just don’t care enough to carry on
And every road looks like the wrong way
You feel like you’ve got nowhere to belong
And you can’t get out of bed to face the day

When you drive away the ones that love you most
And you’re left staring into the abyss
You feel that you’d prefer to be a ghost
Because you know that you will not be missed

Then I’ve been where you are, without a doubt
And the way that you feel, ain’t no tongue can tell
It’s a darkened room with no clear way out
You’ve made it to the other side […]

It would be such a relief if I just died right now. It’s all I am craving. I had a dream in which I was lying in a coffin and everyone came to my funeral. I felt so peaceful because all the pain was gone. I wish I really died in that sweet dream.

I’m so tired. I tell everyone I’m tired and they say I’m not being honest about the real issues. But they don’t understand how tired I really am. I’m tired in every sense of the word. Emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally tired. I’m trying to decide whether or not life is meaningless. I don’t know if that would just be a selfish method of self protection or if it is a valid thought. But I’ve been trying to assign meaning to it thinking that the world is a better place and my life will be more enjoyable if it is meaningful. But this is so damn […]

So bored..boredom isnt good cause thats when you start thinking about how terrible your life is. Especially when you suffer from a somewhat mild case of insomnia. Precious sleep…fall back into my arms and embrace me once again. Till death do we truly unite.

I smiled yesterday…this smile comes once every 2 or 3 months or so. I take a picture everytime because I dont know the next time it’ll happen. It may be a weak smile..but its more than ive had. The reason was because someone made me feel beautiful…to have someone think youre pretty is something to smile about. I dont get it often and it makes me smile every time. Thank you, John. The simplest comments brighten my days.

… I just got a call.. From my best friends brother… She died at 10:48. They couldn’t save her. They said she lost too much blood… That there was no hope to save her… Amanda…my best friend…you promised me..that we were both stuck here with each other… and you left.. Without calling me, without telling me.. without taking me with you… You alone got me through my hospitalization. You gave me hope. You were the only one that could make me laugh anymore… Whose gonna make me laugh now? Whose gonna tell me it’s ok? Whose gonna remember the times we had at the unit? […]

Constantly trying to save my kryptonite…which is you. You weaken me…but i HAVE to save you. Youre draining me of my will power..to live. But i have to save you…because once upon a time, even though we arent together anymore, you told me i’d always be your supergirl. And now, I drive you to your new girls house and let you spend days..and nights with me when she’s cheating on you. Its killing me to be near you, Kryptonite..But I’ll always be your supergirl.

I’m so sick and tired of being left behind.
I don’t really no how to describe it. I am just done with everything.
No one really knows how upset I am. I’ve never told anyone why I am like this. Most people, don’t notice how depressed I am. It’s starting to take it’s toll on me though. I stay up until 4am daily now, get as much sleep as I can, repeat. I am constantly tired because I just, don’t… do anything. I mope around my house. The only things i’ve been able to think about today, is how horrible my life is compared to […]