I trusted you. I believed you when you said I was good enough… and I learnt my lesson.

So…the one person i trusted…i spent almost two years working hard to stop cutting, stop drinking, stop hurting myself for someone I though i could trust…in three words he destroyed everything. I’m back to nothing. i have nothing. i am nothing. But do you know wahts fucked up most of all? I love him. i fucking want him here I want to hug him and never let go and feel the pain go away like it used to when I was home but I can’t cos I can’t even look at him. His name makes me want to bleed out every ounce of blood because […]

I’ve been counting down the minutes at my high school. I can’t take much more of the classes I’m in. I have hubby bars to combat my depression, but will it help my lack of motivation? Will it help me deal with my deep love for my cousin? Will it protect me from throwing my life away, because life is pointless?

In my FOA2 class, which is Focus on Algebra 2, I was talking with my classmates about the glass is half full and half empty and took the pessimistic viewpoint. It’s significant because that’s my personal viewpoint and I clearly stated it, you have […]

I am not fat..im a boxer..i just love to eat. I am not ugly..i just dont like tons of makeup. I dont crave attention..i just want somebody..anybody to care.

I AM depressed. I AM lonely. I AM alone. I AM suicidal..why cant you people just help me with my real problems?

I feel more and more exhausted every single day. It’s not a physical exhaustion…more of a mental and emotional exhaustion. My mind is constantly running. Running running running. I can’t ever get it to shut up. Unless I’m high. I’d love to just start cutting again, but I really don’t want to add anymore scars to my little collection. I already get looked at like I’m some sort of fucking parasite if I dare wear a tank top.

I really am on the verge of losing it. I don’t want to make my parents upset…after the last death, I couldn’t ever put my parents through that. […]

People stare at me like im weird..a freak..an outcast..when they see my scars. You dont think about the scars when you cut do you? You just want to see the blood pour down your arm and drip onto the floor. It distracts you from the real pain..whatever your pain may be. They watch you from behind friends as you pick up a knife to cut your steak…whisper when you paint your nails and toenails black..laugh when you wear long sleeves in the summertime..in florida..just to cover up these scars..that forever remind you of what you lost..but i..i wouldnt trade mine for the world..I’d trade only […]

Like most of the people on this site i am depressed and suicidal, but life could be so much worse..

Kony 2012:
http://www.youtube/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc&sns=em

I’m 28 years old.  I’ve been what I’d call a depressive since I was probably 14.   I tried to kill myself when I was 16 by overdosing on my anti-depressants.  I haven’t tried since, mainly because I saw what the first attempt did to my parents.  I was very fortunate in my parents; they’re loving and supportive, and I probably wouldn’t be writing this if it wasn’t for them.   I swore on my Grandmother’s grave that I would never try again.  That vow has also helped stopped me.   But it’s losing its effectiveness.   I don’t see the point anymore.  Why should […]

Im gonna do it I know I will..but my mom I can’t let her see me like that..and who knows what she’s gonna do when she finds me one the ground with no pulse..screaming for me to come bac..but I have to do it it’s the only way I can take away the pain to take away the stress I cause her…but ill find a way so that when i do do it she won’t have to see me..

After elementary school I found that people just get more annoying as they age- either that or i just grow annoyed more easily. In the past couple of years i’ve basically stopped communicating with my peers in fear of being judged. Yes, i’m “normal” around the few close friends i have- one of which tried to kill herself just last year, and another who tells me he thinks about it. Well, i think about it too. In fact, i think about it often. The only thing is i could never bring myself to do it. I used to call myself a coward, but now i […]

Death is a blessing.
Death is like the night. We hide from it, postpone it as long as possible, shun the darkness, but in the end it is inevitable.
We fear it, but it will forever stalk our waking hours, haunt out most sinister nightmares.
Grief, perhaps, is worse.
Grief is what is left behind for the living to deal with.
It is what will make two enemies allies, what can make love turn to hate.
Grief is the most astonishing of pain, and we see it everyday, in some shape or form.
Maybe you just broke up with your beloved. Maybe you just lost […]

I am so done with this

it’s sad to think i’m only fifeteen and i have tried to kill myself two times. yes two times. my mom found me both times, in the bathroom. In seventh grade i lost my best friend to suicide, i just wanted to see her. so i thought if i cut deeper i would bleed out. i passed out and i woke up in the hospital. they gave me pills for depression and i had to go to therapy. the second time i tried to i almost OD on pills i found in my moms room, i couldn’t get the bottle open and i was screaming […]

I am a burden on everyone that I love, and it would be best if I wasn’t around at all to bother anyone anymore.

I cant tell if i even matter anymore. I hate how my parents wont let me be with him… he means just so much to me and i cant date him because of his race. I feel so lost… he means the world to me. I have never really been the favorite child. The youngest is the favorite and all i am is just some teenager who is being yelled at all the time im the last to be thought about and yet i do everything…. what use am i?????

I don’t like challenges. I don’t like obstacles. I don’t like trying for something unless there’s a guarantee. I don’t like vague goals that sound like monthly horoscopes.

However, life is full of challenges and obstacles. And now I’m getting the impression that somehow, the idea is that overcoming these obstacles is supposed to be one’s goal in life; that I’m supposed to strive to better myself and I’ll be all the better for it.

But, I’m a risk-averse person. I don’t like challenges. I don’t like obstacles. I don’t like trying for something unless there’s a guarantee. […]

I want to die. I don’t understand why, but I am getting so close. I am only 16 year old… but in the past year I have completely fell apart mentally. Starving, vomiting, cutting. Flashbacks, tears, pain. I’m so tired of it. I am in counseling but I don’t want to open up. I can’t open up. I’ve really tried, but it’s so painful. My parents didn’t care until they were forced to. I don’t talk at home. The last few months I have been trying to hold on for everyone who loves me. I am trying, trying so hard to focus on that. No […]

Its not being scared to kill yourself. Its waiting for it to happen and actually coming up with plan. Buying the pills and the razor. Thats the worst.

I’m sick and tired of putting on an act every day of my worthless life.. to my friends and family I am just a happy 20 year old guy.. inside im fucking dying, i can’t find any good in this world no matter how hard I try and I certainly wouldn’t dare express my opinions of this messed up world to my friends or family, as it would be alien.

Im living a lie and cheat myself time and time again, have fuck all motivation….I feel a hatred that nobody knows I feel… everything and everyone seems to get on my nerves. I want to leave […]