I hate to sound whiny about my life. There is good and there is bad, as is part of the deal with being alive. I am not like most people, that have reasons and feelings to be suicidal. Most of the time I love life.
My problem is that I have some weird form of anxiety attacks. Nothing seems to trigger them, like most people have. I have theorized that it is some chemical that doesn’t flow as steadily through my body as it should. When there is too much I have anxiety attacks where […]
I know some people on this site don’t really appreciate religion as much as others, but since my last suicide attempt (5/22/11) I’ve found so much comfort in my church. As soon as I was released from the hospital, I immediately joined the cast of a musical that my church was doing. After that, I continued doing as much as I could. I am now the official junior church teacher, and I volunteer for just about every event I can. I was even allowed to give a sermon while our pastor was away. It was amazing.
It’s true, religion can ruin lives. Just look at all the […]
I’m not seriously considering killing myself tonight, but this thought constantly lurks in my head. I was chronically suicidal in my youth, and really thought the feelings would go away as an adult.
At present, I’m educated, I’m professionally employed and my life would appear stable to a stranger looking in. And yet, there is always such a huge void in me that makes me feel numb to the world. Ironically, I work in palliative care, and although I find this job really meaningful/rich, this is one of the only areas in my life that brings me meaning/purpose, and I often find myself envying people I […]
Hi, (sorry if this triggers a moderator, just talking about my own music that I hold the copyright for)
I’ve been having a difficult time…at work/school especially, but also with the fallout of my suicide attempt (12/2/11). Each day has been an anxious struggle. Even though I’m finally on all of my meds, I still feel jumpy and scared and depressed. There are some nice, happy periods that can last a couple of hours, so I hold on to those as much as I can. I’m an amateur musician, and my last album, Calliope, came out in 2002, just as my depression lifted a bit. I’d […]
well i made an account today, just a little less then an hour ago. i hope someone really does help me with my problem, im so tempted to do something that will impact the lives of so many people i know
i want to committ suicide and the people around me dont realize how badly i am hurting inside. I just want someone to recognize a sign anything and just say that “i careâ€. my family and friends are so selfish. i hate this and i hate my life.
I’m at the moment drowning in tears not knowing what to do 🙁 !!!!! I wish there really was a someone out there to help me get through this 🙁 before its too late …
I’m 16. I have lots of friends, I play multiple sports, I have a big family. A guy is talking to me right now that really wants to date, one of my favorite things to do is brighten other people’s days. But I’m falling apart. At home I am emotionally neglected. I no longer speak at home. I starve myself. Sometimes I make myself throw up. Sometimes I cut. The last 5 years I have watched my family crumble. Recently the counselor at school talked to me. She knows what I do, my friends told her. She, along with my mom, have forced me into […]
I’m 17 years old and a senior in high school. For awhile Ive been thinking about suicide, i just feel like no one cares. My mom tells me so much things that tend to hurt me so much in the inside. At school i dont seem to have friends even though i seem well known to everyone. i guess im really depressed. since a month ive been planning my suicide … but i think its time. every day that passes i feel like im worthless. I really just want a friend, someone who i can tell everything too. but its kinda too late for that. […]
Right now i feel like i can do anything! right now i don’t give a crap about what people think of me, i don’t care if they think I’m lame becuz I’m  “emo” i could really care less..
im in such a good mood, i haven’t been like this for ages. i know it won’t last long but I’m gonna enjoy it 🙂
i wish i felt this good all the time.. i wish there was no such thing as depression. and everyone could be happy. but in re1ality thats highly unlikely.
-RAWIMATURTLE!
I am 15 and three of my grandparents have died. I am so scared; I dont want anyone else to die especially my parents. I hate everyday it is so unbearable and it kills me to live everdy
I wish I had never woken up at all, I dont want to live with the pain! why is everyone I love dying?! I am a good person and I love and respect my family. I feel like a shadow of my former self, I cant spemd time with friends because I am jealous of them and I cant enjoy the things I used to with my […]
I’m not serious about doing anything right now, even though with every day that passes, I swear I get closer and more and more desperate and despondent. I feel like a poser, posting this right now because of that, but every time I write this in my own personal journal, I feel like I’m shouting into a void. I just need someone to hear this right now.
Anyone who knows anything will tell you that I have had a good life. Objectively, I have never wanted for money, for shelter, for food, for love, for intelligence, for beauty, for anything. […]
Not too long ago my mum found where I cut myself, and now she keeps checking. All that remains there are some thick and thin scars of pain. Every time I go into the bathroom I have to resist because I know she’ll find out. I don’t know how to deal with the pain any other way, I need the comfort that one stream of blood gives me. I just need it. I started doing it somewhere else, but it’s not the same in a way, it sounds stupid, but it doesn’t give me the same release. I hate that she found out. I hate […]
For over a year now I have been writing a short suicide note that has turned into 11 pages long. I will not bore you with the whole thing but I will post the things that have bothered me for the last year. See if any of this seems familiar.
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This is really getting ridiculous; I have been working on this suicide note for over a year.
The final day I intend to act on this, I will contact the bank and cancel all future payments to all my creditors. Done as of Dec 21, 2011
I assign my sister Janice as executor of my estate and may […]
I try not to put myself down so much or so badly. But it doesn’t work. I am just so frustrated.
I am my worst enemy and need to get rid of myself, for my own sake.
Kind of wish I could catch aids or have cancer that way when I end me then I don’t have to try and explain why, it would be more like, “oh, she had aids. That’s why she killed herself”
to all those people who don’t understand what depression is like.
have you ever hated someone so much that every time you looked at them you’d get so pissed you want to just go punch them in the face? Â or that when you look at there pictures on Facebook or something and you get so jealous becuz they also seem so happy and they have it all?
well i use to be friends with this one girl. as soon as we drifted apart she seemed so happy. Â and now she has everything she could ever have, she’s pretty than me, id have to say she kinda seems like a slut (pardon my language) but i guess thats […]
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don’t belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels all right
You don’t know what it’s like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
mabey i should do my step 2 again, but fuck- 5 months in drug rehabilitation has broken me. Dont get me wrong, I happy to be in recovery and have my sobriety. But my social life is stuffed, my life is fucked and have no friends,  aquaintences but no friends, no family life – afraid of being disowned my the one family member i have left. I’m borderline suicidal – already on anti-depressants and mood sableizers. I would rather die than relapse on drugs or drink – ive come to far for that and know very well where that takes me. I dont know what to […]
I often don’t understand why I am depressed, nothing bad has really happened to me. I lived normal childhood, parents got divorced while I was young, but that is not really special at this day and age. Somewhere in 14’s I just started to feel hatred towards myself, I started alienate my friends, stopped drawing which was important to me. I just spent pretty much all my time in front of gaming consoles to escape my life. I wasted so many years doing nothing.
Eventually at 18 I tried to kill myself at the first time, didn’t work out. I am nearly 23 now. My life […]