I juuuusssttt want to cut myself. Over and over and over again.
My blackened heart
A disease that corrupts my entire soul
Blood no longer flows through my veins
This iced poison restricts my movements
There’s no saving me
I lie here waiting for Hell to claim my soul
How long must I wait?
A human sacrifice, take it
For I have given up
No longer do I wish to see the green fields of Earth
Deliver me unto Darkness
My heart explodes and leaves a crater
A crater filled with hollow dreams and empty hopes
A crater filled with darkened love and tainted passion
I close my eyes and feel the cold
Death breaths softly on […]
The days seem to get longer and darker everyday , I light one up and take another shot , yeah things will get better if im not sober . I get hit once again slammed into the wall . yet i take that for im a piece of shit . No one knows what happens when the door shuts . They think I laugh smile and have a good time . But deep down inside im dead , have been for a very long time .
i didnt know what to do until i decided to move in with you again . The drugs came […]
Wow, i haven’t had a night like this in a while.
i try to suppress my depressive moods as much as i can these days, because i’m sure the people around me are sick of hearing about all my troubles. And because i do this, i often have a rather intense hour of crying and panic attacks and i find myself seriously considering suicide once every fortnight or so.
But tonight was different. I was in this intense state almost all night, fighting the strong urge to cut myself. I made a promise to someone every important that i would not do it anymore.
But unfortunatly this just is […]
I don’t know but this thought scares me, i just want to disappear completely, I don’t want any afterlife. Nothingness and black feels much more peaceful. I don’t want to have any thoughts. Just fade away completely. I don’t care about anything.
But what if there is something? Then i’m stuck here forever?????? I really don’t want to continue living in any way. I hope atheists are right. I’m so sick and tired of this.
I spent a night with friends. Not real friends. Just people that like me when I’m happy. There was a girl there, somebody that reminded me, with each tittering laugh and quick smile, that I haven’t even been on a date in years. I try, so often, but I never seem to get a girl just interested enough. She showed me some of her favorite music and danced, laughing that she didn’t care if she was no good. Some of the bands I know, but I can’t remember the lyrics. I try to dance, but just find myself unsure how. My interests, at best, are […]
It’s now been eight months since I was involuntarily committed for five days. I still have not gone one single day without reliving the awful feelings I felt at having all control over my life taken away by the hospital. From the moment the psych ER doctor laid down his judgement against me I’ve felt like I’ve been living in a nightmare instead of the real world. The immediacy of the terror and shock have faded but in the back of my mind there is still a constant sense of crisis. I feel like my life is divided into two distinct parts: before involuntary commitment […]
im responsible for my actions. i wont and dont ever try to blame someone else for my wrong doings. but i can say that the reason behind my even thinking about doing such actions comes from others. i wont have to senak out and party if im allowed to go out and be a teenager i wouldnt need to hide things from you if you gave me a suitiable environment to open up to and feel safe while doing so. i wouldnt want to end my life if you treated me better. so im at fault for my actions but your at fault for fucking […]
they say depression
isn’t a sign of weakness
but of trying to be strong
for far too long in an unrelenting world
to destroy your spirit
and you won
I’ve stared cutting again. I stopped for a long time, long for me at least, but today something inside me broke and I started again. It’s not like I cut deep or anything I just hate how good it makes me feel. When I’m cutting I feel as though I can let everything go and just relax. The only time I even feel like me is when I’m cutting, but i don’t want it to be that way, I want to be able to feel things without hurting myself.
I’m new to this website. I came here to type what I want, and maybe talk to people who are in somewhat of the same situation as me. I’ve been depressed since at least 6th grade on and off. I never told anyone until my junior year and it just kind of exploded. I told my family and it bothers them but they don’t do anything to help. My mom only makes it worse. I think everyone has some sort of depression through their lives, but most people deal with it better or just don’t talk about it.
I don’t talk to people much because i don’t like them to think i’m doing it for […]
I am only 13 years old. I have suicidal thoughts regularly. I am going to see a doctor soon about it. I just want to die though. Nothing is leading me to kill myself. It is the nothing that is. I just keep thinking, there is really no point for me to be alive tomorrow. It isn’t like my presence will be the biggest deal to the world. I think if I wasn’t afraid to kill myself I would be long gone by now. The thing that bugs me the most is how my parents have reacted to this, they started treating me differently. I […]
The one person i liked and trusted i broke up with and i cant even remember why. I hate myself. I dont care about myself anymore i should just end it.
“Without pain, there would be no suffering, with out suffering we would never learn from out mistakes. To make it right, pain and suffering is the key to all windows, without it, there’s no way of life.”
We are male and female. We are artists, athletes, students, and business owners. We have depression, DID, PTSD, eating disorders, borderline personalities, bipolar disorder, or maybe no diagnosis at all. Some of us were abused, some were not. We are straight, bi, and gay. We come from all walks of life and can be any age. We are every single race or religion that you can possibly think of. […]
This is usually my favorite time of year. It reminds of the very VERY few good memories I had as a child.
I donate to the Salvation Army and other charities. I try to give to those around me who are less fortunate, and I keep traditions going for my son and well for myself but this year has been extremely rough. It’s.hard for me to get in the spirit when I feel sad and depressed all the time. My son really doesn’t care about the traditions that much this year, he’s growing up on me.
I just […]
People always seem to ask why im never smiling or lauging . too many people ask whats wrong .
No one sees the scars on my stomach , legs , or wrist , people dont really get that shit gets real behind closed doors . No one knew for the longest time that i used to cut night after night after night . My family would be up stairs and I would be taking another razor to my body , making new or re opening cuts . It got to the point where my mom didnt even notice me anymore . she took his side […]
Everyone goes through a point in life where they want to die or they self harm , everone has a stage and ive been through mine . dont feel bad because your parents are fucking retards . thats not your fault . you just unlucky as shit to be their kid , but you know what ? once you move on and show them that you deserve better then thats when the good things come . people always say “why me ? ” when something shitty is about to happen or is happening but , next time say “try me ” show everyone that you […]
you are the main reason im so sad and depressed. i hate both of you with every fiber of my being. you raised me wrong… like completly wrong. you were to strick to much of a ***** and an asshole and you didnt trust me from day one. your the reason why i did everything that i did and why i continue to do everything that i do. one day when i cant find the strength to live any more and i do take my life…. i hope to fucking god you read this and know its your fault.
I have no one. Honestly, I have not one person to talk to about my personal life. I’m hated by almost everyone because I’m different and because I’m not perfect enough. Lately I’ve been thinking about over-dosing, and its not like anyone would be here to stop me. I can’t feel anymore, I’m never truly happy but never truly depressed, I’m numb and I hate it. I don’t wanna be like this, I wanna be loved by atleast one person but it seems its only me that never gets anything. I guess some of you will understand what I’m trying to say, and I just […]