one day for sure. i will. i will die at my own hands. Why shouldn’t we be able to pick when we want to die? I think we should. Its our owN life not someone elses. We wouldn’t be harming anyone. Only temporarily. I want to die so bad sometimes. I hate when people(teachers mostly for me) mention suicide and laugh about it and stuff. I Hate that. They shouldn’t be saying things that can hurt someone emotionally. I get affected by people who say certain things. Maybe its just because I have the desire to die and I’d actually consider myself suicidal. But I […]

It feels like I’m living on a roller coaster and I keep getting stuck at the bottom. The past year has been the worst if my life. My parents almost splitting up, my boyfriend attempting suicide, my dad threatening suicide, one of my old friends taking her own life and me being blamed for it. There is no comparison for that type of pain, that agony. I didn’t cause this I had to tell myself just to drag myself out of bed in the morning. People I thought were friends turned their back on me. It hurt. Then another person close to me takes his […]

There is someone new in my mirror, and I should say, this new someone is quite repulsive. I try to seperate myself from this creature, but he just smiles at my attempts and whispers, “the creature lives.”    ………………………………………………………. how odd

im tired of all this shit 🙁 i want it all just to go away…………..i dont really care how…..but it would kinda be nice if it was now…………i look back at the notes i wrote on my phone and i think to myself……………why dont you just put your missery out now……is it really worth going threw all this pain and suffer…..will things actually really get better at the end of this mest up world be calll life…….i do believe there’s a heaven and i do believe there is a hell but i feel like the one below is kinda pulling me down while God is […]

I am a 14 year old boy. I am in a town that is full of judgmental rednecks… my life feels like hell… i wake up, go to school, and pray i don’t have to go home. I have been dead on the inside for a year and a half.. before that i was half dead. i know  you dont care about me, but, why not talk bout my life

i play guitar. i usually play Dethklok, Bring me the horizon, ect.

I lost a girl a year and a half ago… yes, there is a connection.

i cut myself to see blood…. and i regret am proud of it.

i’m a virgin by choice. […]

I have been through it all. I lost my little brother at a really young age and then after losing him watched my whole family fall apart. My mom started drinking, my dad left our family and i was the main caretaker of my 1 year old sister as I was 7. I started craving attention so i would go find guys to say they loved me. Then one got me into pot. Not saying pot is bad. But it completely changed my life around. I didn’t give a fuck about my family or my friends. Just sneaking out seeing my boyfriend and smoking […]

I feel like Ive done nothing but battle for my entire life. Im so tired of the turmoil I face everyday. No one understands how hard it is to just wake up and take a breath sometimes. I cant take the pain. Im so tired of the pain. Im not wrong nor selfish, Im just tired.

I’ve come to realize that i can’t do this anymore!! i feel lifeless… why live when all u can do is cry and feel bad everyday. even though i hide it around my friends and family.. its getting harder to do…. i can’t go on like this.. i feel like screaming!!

my sister… well she’s just being her normal self.. mean!

today i had to take the city bus home.. it never came so i ended up taking the 45min walk to my house in the freezing cold with only a sweater. i get home at 5 and get under a blanket to warm up. […]

I just lost my best friend. How do i feel? Well, it didn’t hit me until i screamed i fucking hate you as i slammed the door and started to walk to my house. That was my person. The person who would listen to me cry all night about a boy and try to help me. The person who defended me when she didn’t have to. I just hurt that person. So bad, i could see the water start to feel her eyes when i told her she never gave a damn about anyone but herself.  She doesn’t cry too much, that’s how i knew i […]

I guess this is true

im 14 years old i just had my heart broken with a guy that abused me and even tho he did i still miss him and i feel heartbroken caus now he has a gf and it was one of my old friends i thought i had people there for me but i guess not all my girls left me caus he never let me go hangout with them i always had to be with him and him only i wasnt allowed talking to other guys and he break up my best guy friend i know i should hate him but i dont……i have scars […]

I am finally ready to physically die.   I always knew that eventually the pain of being alive would be worse than the fear of dying. I can’t take it.  I have to face the reality of my life.  After more than 40 years, no one has ever been in love with me.  I just can’t keep putting myself through each new day knowing that no one will ever touch me.  I am disgusting and worthless. I don’t even have God anymore.  How can I love Him when I know he doesn’t love me? When I know that he created me as this unlovable thing? […]

At this moment I don’t know what I feel. It’s like my chest is being squeezed. I’m finding it hard to breathe. I can’t find the words to express how I feel, neither do I know how to write about them. My mind is empty, it feels like i can’t think anymore and the only thing I feel anymore is sadness, anger, or hate towards myself.

I never cry in front of people and today I cried in school. In front of a bunch of judgamental hypcrites. I couldn’t hold it in anymore, my desire to die is uncontrollable , it emerges at anytime. I […]

Why do people even get depressed? I feel awful thinking about the many people who die per day from the cause of bullies. Or anything that will cause the fact of suicide.

Please give advice: Do counselors help you at all during times of loss, like 2 years ago? I was told that i sleptwalked down the stairs and was found with a knife in my hand. That was after my big sister ran away and we were told that she died while crossing the highway. I still cry. Why would she try that to me? She knew that if she left, I would do something drastic. I can not live with my parents, they never understand me. Only she does. Then she left me… please give advice. I need it. Apparently, when my teachers offered to […]

6 months ago, on Aug. 10, 2011, my best friend/cousin Keira, a beautiful girl full of energy and love and courage, tried to kill herself after bullies hurt her physically. She succeded in her attempt. I was 11 minutes late from our meeting place at the Chain Bridge in Budapest, and i could have prevented her death. She jumped off the bridge, but would have survived if not for the fact she hit her head. She was 13,&would have been14on Dec. 10, in 5 months . RIP Keira, we’ll always remember you.

amber died today, at 10:30 AM, January 10th. 2012. I just got out of school thanks to exams, and she was sleeping at my house. I will never ever forget that sight…I will definetly have nightmares. Sorry for telling everyone my ‘life-story’ but i feel so much better when i tell someone, even if it is on the internet. Please, DON’T TRY TO KILL YOURSELVES!!!!! Life is worth it, trust me. Things will get better, I promise.

I can say alot about myself. I could tell you i’m happy and have wonderful days with wonderful people and everything’s going just wonderful. But that would be a lie. I’m not happy. Things and people aren’t wonderful. This isn’t a movie where the hopeless maiden gets saved by prince charming or something. No. That never happens and whoever told you that needs to get smacked in the face. At 6, i was mallested for 2 straight years. At 10, i was overweight. At 12/13, i had an eating disorder. At 14, i gave up my everything to a boy who never cared a thing […]

The sun that used to shine for me,

Dimming ever so slowly,

Hides behind a cloud,

And slowly the sky begins to cry.

Teardrops gently kiss the petal,

Of a lily,

The flower of death,

Then slowly begins to break it apart.

Parable of Encouragement :

One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the […]