how many of you grew up where they taught the Nazi war on life?  people suffered people went through horror. how many of you grew up hearing about god. one life creating other lives. if the horror of Nazi Germany in this made life our present day horrors. how many of you grew where Hinduism and Buddhism where taught. all things have life life passes throughout forever. a made life horror and the life continuing to pass forever. 10 years of digression will conquer your curiosity to the point of questioning existence. the possibility of the worst happening followed by the question of what that […]

You guys where absolutely right about my friends depression triggering my own. There was this feeling I would get where I would be okay with going home and killing myself. I got that feeling today, I havent felt this way since June. My friend is like a sponge, he just absorbs all the happiness out of me. For example today I was having a particularly slow day, it was only my second class of the day and it felt like the last (fourth, classes are 1 hour 45minutes.) and I was complaining about it when he came up to me and suck it up and […]

Gripping the blade
Press
Press against my skin
Glide
Glide & slicing
Pain runs throug my vains, emotionally, yet physically ok
Red crimson
Dotting
Dotting out from my self inflicted incision
A smile
A smile find its way to my face
Adrenaline
My pacing heart
One of the beat feeling in this sick world

A drugged out zombie
with the chemicals
coursing through my veins

chemical smiles
and chemical laughs
the fears and pain
all chemical too

It may all be fake
but at least its not real

what are you gonna do if you have a week to switch body with a person who is the total opposite of you?

If anybody needs to talk, just loney or needs to vent. please feel free to email me at thelightinthedarknes@hotmail.com.

i am a trained crysis counciler. i was depressed for years and nearly killed myself twice. I have been where you been. there is a way back.

It took me along time to get better, but i DID get better.

So yeah, ill help anyone who wants it. email me anytime.

and if you havent signed this pettion then please do. it takes 20 seconds/ literaly. no strings or spam i swear. its for illness awareness.

http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/dysautonomia-awareness.html

if you need help email me anytime.

Peace. 🙂

Today you guys deserve to smile sad or not O: you guys deserve it. Even if you didnt do anything today i know you really need it. You are all beautiful dont you disagree its a compliment and ya need it. So today smile cause everyone on here has a beautiful one Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

^/)^ (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)

My body has been a source of my pain, but I never thought it would be the reason I’m alive.

I do not bleed. My life is out of control and in a horrible cycle. I work to get money, to pay for gas, to go to work, to not eat, to feel like I am somebody, so I can go to work and fake a smile.

Why can’t my life end easily? Apparently when other people can just look at something sharp and be bleeding, I need to drag the blade over my skin over and over and over just to get ANYTHING. I always thought […]

Okay so, does anyone here believe in 2012? if so, what do you think is gonna happen?

i think that, if there solar storm thing doesn’t happen, i think there’s gonna be a flood from the south and/or north pole

To My Sweetheart,

I know sometimes we fight a lot. Sometimes, I don’t listen as well as I should. Sometimes, I wish I just knew what you were thinking so I could know how to fix things. But, more than anything, I need you to remember just how much I love you. I fell in love with you about nine months ago, and I never thought you would be mine. And when you did, I almost converted just to thank someone for giving me the greatest creation ever imaginable. You’re so amazing, and I want you to know that you can tell me anything in the […]

pinching up the skin pushing the safety pin in over the bone bloody knuckles.  burning the safety pin in what is an attempt at sanitation piercing the skin. straight into the arm piercing pain. through the skin holding back precious blood. how do the bloody holes fill the ones in my mind where i hide from the truth. meet the boy with bloody knuckles he might just know how it feels to want death

so keep your eyes on me ony the brave die free were not invicable we are in agony

im not sure if any bodys evan reading this to be honest i dont care, im letting my feelings out.. i neww to the hole tell the inter web world your story but nower days its kinda the only way. my laptop kinda is my only frine lol :L

im 15 nearly, i live in england. im avrage everywere and in everythig. mostly. i live with […]

I don’t want to share my feelings, my stories, my trials and tribulations… I just want to say ‘thank you’.  I say thank you because the ‘read this first’ page that popped up when I typed in to google “I WANT TO DIE”, has given me another day of life (misererable or not) Im planning on making it through till tomorrow and that makes the little ‘i want to live’ voice a little bit stronger.  Thats all.  So, to whom ever… thank you. ~D

I came really close today.  I methodically loaded the gun.  Hands steady as I loaded it.  I wasn’t hesitating.  I really thought that i was going to go through with it.  It was almost like I was working in a trance.  Going through the rehersed motions.  I clicked the safety off and steeled myself to do it.  But I couldn’t pull the damn trigger.  I just couldn’t do it.  I looked around and sighed and realized I had failed again.  I really don’t understand what the fuck is going on.  My friends are jokes and my school is a synonym for misery.  The only solace […]

I don’t know if it’s a moment of weakness or what but today I reached out and told a trusted person that I am depressed and suicidal. I asked for help and for a referral to a therapist. Part of me wants help, part of me still wants to die. Telling this person wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be though I do worry about how me might perceive me from now on. I guess I can’t control that, right?
I don’t know what will happen from here. Though I have the name of a therapist I’m not sure I will make the […]

if you feel like doing it think about how extreme it is the act of destroying yourself and going in to an unknown that actually could be worse. think about it.

Ok so, i dont know what to say but I just gonna like try to explain this;

uhm.. I gonna die on saturday. I gonna kill myself. Seriously.. I cant handle anymore.. and there is this party on friday and that is gonna be the party of all time! the last party ever. So I gonna like say goodbye to everyone on the next four days.. I just planed it all! I dont thik I am aloud to how so you guys wont know, haha. sorry about that.

I dont know whats gotten in to my mind.. but I think that this is the goodbye to suicideproject.org […]

Well I tried suicide by dehydration over the last few days, I made it 4 days and finally couldnt stand it anymore… I am so frustrated because I was so close but yet so far from finishing it off…. I guess its time to buy the book that gives you ideas for a peaceful exit…. Why is it so damn hard to just get done and over with!

It’s amusing how once you have more or less definitely decided to die perception of the world so subtly shifts.

I had something of a (teensy) epiphany earlier today. A ragey thought along the lines of ” fuck the mouse broke again I bought this one two months ago I really can’t afford to waste money on such pointless expenses right now” immediately followed (as far as any thought can be said to “follow” any other at least) by “it won’t matter when you’re gone anyway” .

It won’t indeed. It hit me today but looking back this kind of thinking has been going on for […]

I give my all but it is never enough to make everything okay
You may constantly break my heart but I’ll still love you anyway