I don’t believe in heaven or whatever it holds. Honestly, I only believe in hell. Although I don’t see how the devil or whatever else is suppost to be in there is real. Whoever made this shit up was high or trunk. Who the hell makes up crazy shit like that? Heaven is just the same. Besides, how do we know heaven is in the sky and hell is under the ground? There’s no proof of that so why should I believe in god and his shit? I have proof for hell though. Because, honestly, I’m living in it.
Not really about suicide. Just wondering where all of you guys live. Maybe one day we can all meet up or something. Just an idea.
I live in Manchester, UK.
if you have time to read this, please do. and please comment if you want, thanks.
being a teen and all, of course, there’s this guy that I’m so deeply in love with, he knows that but doesn’t love me anymore. we talked, literally about everything, not gonna go into details, though. he unlocked my heart, and for a few months he took great, no, PERFECT care of it. Then that day came when he said us being together is a mistake. he lacerated, burned, broke, abused, and ripped my heart out. I still love him, because I am nothing without him. He has moved on, […]
It’s an abysmal scenario and you are fodder for it’s carnivorous hunger – know it. Take control or the next generation will be fighting you as you fight today’s monsters. Make a choice.
life is stupid. I hate myself, I hate the way I look. I know I’m pretty, people always tell me that, but there’s no one to love me. I want someone to love me, I guess like a boyfriend. I need a lot of TLC (tender loving care). I’m talented, I can be funny, but there’s no one to share it with. no friends to talk to. I hate my stupid life. public schools and youth group at church messed me up. they were all so cruel. sure, I had friends, but none of them understood me. In my […]
i could use some friends. Real friends. not ones who fuck with me. not ones who say shit to me just to piss me off. no ones who abandon me when things get difficult for them. not ones who just stop talking to me for no good reason. not ones who bug the hell out of me when i just wanna be alone. not ones who dont invite me to anything when they invite everyone else. and defs not one who talks shit about me behind my back.
sorry for the rant, i just wanted to get that out of my system
-End
just something ive been thinking about. i want to love and be loved back. i want to have friends. i want to get married. i want a girlfriend. i want to not be lonely anymore. i know i will never have any of these things. so i made a new list. i want to finally get the courage to cut my wrists, the real way. i want to be alone forever. i want to walk aimlessly around in the pouring rain by myself as long as possible. i want to cry every day, whether its crying myself to sleep and waking up with tears still in […]
hey, ive been viewing this website for quite awhile now. reading everyones stories and thinking about what theyve been through. how theyve felt. and what drove them to consider suicide. i wll try to tell you my story and how i got here. its going to be a long one so brace yourself..my classmate gave me her number and i didnt text her till mabye a month later. i was so bored and i started looking through the contacts. curious, i texted her. at first it as akward becuz we didnt know eachother. but after a few deays we became friends. over a longer period […]
It’s heavily storming right now and my room is illuminated by the frequent lightning.
All I want to do is to go out into the rain and drive down to the shore.
I imagine myself on the beach, embracing the rain and digging a metal rod into the sand.
Holding on, waiting for the light to take me away.
So, the pressure in an industrial ******** tank is actually 200bar. The flow fitting that i am buying for a Helium tank should work perfectly. I have pictures of the companies hydrogen tanks, and it’s a perfect fit! No reason to suspect ******** would be any different. Size is also quite nice. Fits nicely into the backtrunk of an averadge taxi. Still enough ******** there to “knock me out”
The people in the store where i rent the gass will ofcourse ask me to buy some of there fittings. However that should not be a problem(“God! I didn’t know the fittings cost THIS MUCH!”)
Yes, things are […]
I’ve been clawing at my face. Â Digging my nails into it and saying, “Go ahead and rip it off, rip off your ugly fucking face so no one has to ever see it again.” Â I just want to break everything reflective so I don’t have to look at it either.
Im not slipping on ice
im not slipping on water
It seems more like
im slipping on glass.
The sharp martial
gab deep into
mine fragile skin.
Its points…
are sharpen like
an kitchen knife.
Stab Stab Stab
as it feeds on mine flesh.
As the blood sleep out
like an overflow waterfall.
Im not slipping on ice
im not slipping on water
i guess tonight was the night
that i had finally fall.
My secrets are hidden in a pandora shaped box waiting for that one day to come in which it can be unlocked so my soul can escape and I can pull back the curtain of fabrication that others call life. Not a matter of what purpose it should serve and how it’ll end but the actual purpose. Always running away from our problems. Guess that’s why they call it the human race for humanity’s sake they tell us to not ask questions. Silence so loud for it has no company. Watching and observing my surroundings. The people and the places they choose to go. But […]
I’ve been struggling with depression since I was in middle school. I was diagnosed after I tried to kill myself, and was proscribed prozac, but my father thought it was silly, that every teen these days is getting proscibed drugs for what is just a normal part of growing up, and for a while I agreed. I coped with it. I had good days and bad, but I also had a great group of friends I could rely on. I grew up. My 20th birthday is now coming up, and my life, it seems, is in a downward spiral.
Almost two years ago, only a […]
Hi, I’ve been lurking on this site for a couple days. I’m amazed at how you guys pour out your hearts and deepest secrets to total strangers. When I first came across this site while looking for help I thought it wasn’t for me, but now I realize there is no better place to talk to people who know what I’m going through. So many discussions on here read like they were plucked right out of my head. I’m glad I found this site.
i have another account on here and no one ever comments on that account anymore i really feel love buy you guys thanks
hey guys well lifes been good i have been tired as crap and work has been kicking ass people there have been mean and i am tired of listing to there bull shit no ones nice to me they give me shit all the time so i just shut my mouth and let them fuck up i am done with trying to help them out. when i first started working there all the people were nice. and now that its all new people and they are young and cocky and think they know what the fuck they doing and when i tell them the right […]
i can’t do this.
i don’t know how.
It was my fourth day (3 hrs a day!!) of driver’s ed and there is about 55 people in my class. Two of those people, who I’m sooo happy to sit next to, used to throw random food bits at my lunch table. They make fun of this one kind of dorky kid out loud where people (and probably the kid) can hear. That bothers me for two reasons 1. I hate bullies (I’ve been bullied) and mean people in general 2. And I have to listen to them while I’m trying to learn about driving. Instead of focusing on learning, I’m thinking of nasty […]
I hate everyone.
When I used to say this to my counselor he would ask, “Who DON’T you hate?”
I could sometimes throw out a name to please him. Usually someone I wasn’t that well-acquainted with…but I’d realize that I was lying, these people were equally annoying, equally self-centered, they ignore me just as much as everyone else.
I only found one true exception. He once posed the question again–“Who DON’T you hate?”–and I responded, “You.” Because he was the only person, in my entire life, that hadn’t neglected me. And even though it was his job to do what he did, it was still the […]