all my life i have lived in misary i live allone i have no family my mother kicked me out at a early age she told me i was the reason why she couldnt have anything i fell in love with a girl when i was 15 she was my whole world her parents moved her away from me everything that is good gets taken away from me i know that there are others that have more problimes than me i have tried to die 3 times everybody seems so fake im loosing grip on whats real my shot at happiness is dieing there has […]

The greatest contradiction to contradictions is the truth.

I’m drinking tea and enjoying this Website now.

This is a surprising website, it has a very strong imagination, it is of great ingenuity, sometimes it is very funny, it is a meaningful website.

Are you tired? Would you like a cup of coffee?

The Secret

I was so beautiful

So happy and so kind

My family thought the world of me

But I had something to hide

I’d eat my meal

Bit by bit

I’d chew each piece

With my every whit

Then I’d open the door

Knell on the ground

Lift up the seat

And make my daily rounds

Vomit smell fills the air

Sink water falls

Choking sounds are made

But left unheard in the hall

I sigh with realive

I take a good stare

Make sure it’s all out

Then fix my hair

I’m getting thinner my the minuet

Getting thin and white

I need to keep it a secret

No one knows my fight

I cry when I’m alone

Smile when I’m not

Trying to make the mirror happy

I think I’ve got […]

I don’t think you understand, my dear. I totally fell in love with you. I know, I sound creepy as heck. But, it was so real for me. I fell in love. That’s something I’ve never done before, something I didn’t think possible for me. You opened new doors for me. You showed me that happiness could be so real.
Because you made me the happiest that I’ve ever been, I fell in love. I know, I know. I definately didn’t show it, and that was on purpose. (Now I see that was a bad idea.) I wouldn’t dare […]

The dream

My eyes open

Blood everywhere

A rusty razor

All I can do is stare

Where am I?

I see a sink

A bathroom?

I blinked

My eyes on the mirror

Cuts everywhere

Blood smeared

In my hair

The door opens

My aunt screams

“What have you done???”

She grabs me

We go to the ER

My aunt tels the doctors, I show

They ask me what happened

I reply “I don’t know.”

I set stiches

They bandage a few

I gto home and to bed

And as if on que………

I wake up screaming

What happened to me? I look around

It was only a dream

This is one of my many nightterrors I experience every night.

im so close to happiness i feel like it will be taken from me

I came on here just a couple of weeks ago and there was some great discussions, and talk of setting up a yahoo group, did that happen? 

Last time  came on I was planning to commit suicide, I did end up talking with my brother and he came to stay. Well I feel just the same and I really wanted to talk to some of the people that were on here then but now this site looks like a teenagers facebook of gossip or a site for self harming and poetry. Maybe all those other guys have killed themselves? Typical really, this site now looks like […]

my girlfriend made me feel so bad that eye want to kill myself cause eye cant stand the pain of living without her and eye am sure that eye will do it eventually

Maybe she needs to start a blog or something? I just can’t understand why nearly every post on here lately is all about her and cutting herself and her awful poetry. This is what blogs are for!! 

Am I misunderstanding something here actually, because I thought this site is about suicide, yet it is littered with people who are clearly not suicidal (mostly people that cut themselves) and nor are these people in any position to advise anyone who is suicidal so I’m at a loss to why these people insist on boring everyone with their shit. There MUST be forums for cutter out there, surely???

I met a girl around 5 years ago.  I knew from the second I met her that we would have a relationship and a child together.  I have a gift.  So I waited around for two years.  Yes I went thru several girlfriends.  And then one day out of the blue I got a phone call from a friend of hers asking me to come over and “hang out”.  We were inseperable for about 8 months.  We split up and a few months later we got back together.  This time we lasted about another 8 months.   And split up again.  This time I really thought it was […]

So I was thinking. All this stuff, all this toiling around, all this “making it work”. All this sexual love for Lindsay Lohan. What does it all mean? Why lust and love and hate and waste? Is there any other measure of existence other than this ejaculate? Seems silly to suggest that somehow one is responsible “to the death” for honoring the spew all over one’s hands. Yuck.

I know I haven’t been on here in ages, and there is a very good reason for this. The Love of my life is dead. After un-bearable news, I am forced to believe that there is nothing anymore to truly live for. Yet this festering hate for all living things and happy people is not enough for me to end my life. I don’t expect it to come back on this site, a lot of you have more pressing things and more problematic issues going on in your lives, in which I understand any criticism that you wish to feed me. Long storry short though, […]

Cutters Lullaby

Go to sleep and close your eyes

And dream of broken butterflies

That tore their wings against a thorn

You know the pain that they’ve endured

Silver metal shine so bright

Scarlet blood that feels so right

Dream of that blood trickling down

And wake up just before you drown

The moonlight shining off your tears

As you bleed out your worst fears

So tonight when you start to cry

Whisper the cutters lullaby:

Hushabye baby, your almost dead

You don’t have a pulse and your pillows red

Your family hates you, yout friends let you bleed

Sleep tight with a knife, cause thats all you need

Rockabye baby, broken and scarred

You didn’t know life would be this hard

Time to […]

HI everyone I changed my name slightly cause I lost my passwrd for here, 

Thanks for everything you have said , which we could be friend and tonight Am dying. I am cucrently sitting in on a sofa with pilliows supoorting, my hands handcffs an my neck restrained (gently) I canot more now from the poisition In. I hav taken 7 beta blockers (recommended) and 4 sleeping pills , but I only had four)

I have music on loud and I am chair dancing so to and feelingood and on the last song i will pull the on the hood and I will say goofbye – pease […]

      Bloody Friend

I take my handy friend

My friend to the end

I put him to my skin

And press with all my whim

Stinging needle pain sweeps

Blood flows, I start to weep

Cutc, cuts everywhere

I weep, but I’m not scared

I really want to die

This is what I do

Instead of talking to you

Cuts everywhere

Their my friends

And will be ’till the end

 

This is a poem about when I tried to commit suicide

Alive

I cry in my room

I’ve thought out my plan

To make it al better

I reach out my hand

 

I pop the pills

one by one

I stare at the wall

I know I’m almost done

 

I reach for my

Perfect little friend

Who’ve I ‘ve gone to

To make the pain end

 

Red lines of flesh

Cover m ashen skin

Blood drips to the floor

Releave starts to […]

I think it’s because we can’t seem to find someone, a friend, a person/individual whom we can really relate, connect, and understand each other..in our real life.
To find a similar like-minded individual,
or someone who’s probably undergoing or in the same situation like us..in our real-daily life.

You know..the more I see all the thread posts here, and seeing also the comments by other people, which can actually sometimes even give so much comfort, relief, and even there’s somebody I’ve read that can keep continuing her life, because she probably got encouraged, inspired, and/or helped by the comments posts from others; the more I see […]

This is a poem about my Self-injury. (this was when I was in remission, which I’m not anymore)

 Scars

My scars are everywhere

left and right

big and small

Their marks to show my fight

 

To show my fright

Of  S.I.

Of which

I almost died

 

They tell a story

From which I cut

it into my skin

and kept my mouth shut

 

I’d watch them bleed

let them flow

I kept it a secret

Know one would knows

 

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