I haven’t been on here in months and I won’t deny that things have actually gotten much worse. I mean one minute I’m saying “I got this, I can make it” and the next I’m saying “okay I’ll just end it all on my 21st birthday.” My feelings go back and fourth. And now it’s just all coming back. My plan was to end it all on my 21st. To see if things ever get better. I realize that im still young, and all that, but some people just weren’t meant for life. Sometimes I feel bad because I wasn’t put through so much torture […]
Tag:
21st Birthday
here i go again, pathetically begging for some one to give a rats backside if i am here or not.
i keep getting told i have an answer for everything. if i did, do they not think i would be able to help myself.
im nearly 37, have zero friends. a brother too busy to help (3 and a half hours away) a mum who is too busy going out with her friends to care, (4 and a half hours away) have had to move house (broken relationship), can only afford to live in the rough part of town – so dont go out the front door. […]
Honestly, I don’t think the world will end on 12/21/2012. But if it does, that’s cool too.
I will turn 21 on December 20th. Finally. I can’t imagine anybody being able to fathom how excited I am for my 21st birthday (25 days!). But as far as my future goes it’s the only thing I’m excited about, sadly. I’ll graduate college in May, but I since I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do after that I’m not excited about it. I don’t know where I’ll be and I don’t know what I’ll be doing. It’s both liberating and terrifying.
I like my life, overall. […]
its two days away from my 21st birthday,i dont have any body,noone to celebrate it with,or go out to diner or lunch, just me and myself,what the fuck happened,i want to die so bad,im not gonna kill myself,whats the point if noone would care if i was dead either,you know when you once had such good memories that you cant even think about it,cause it kills you,and you didnt mean to ever ruin anything or hurt anybody,you were just young and damaged and screaming out for help,and nobody helped you,but it was ok,i was in a group home but i was actually happy for […]
I found this site awhile back on one of my endless google searches for “suicide” and the like, and I’ve been putting off joining and posting until I had a more concrete idea of how the rest of my life was going to play out.
Now I know that it isn’t going to play out for very much longer. I’ve known for as long as I can remember that I would kill myself eventually, I’ve never been really, truly happy and have never had the help or the will to get better, so it really was just a matter of how long it would take my […]
Today, march 21st, is my birthday.
Today’s the day I was born on the coast
Today’s the day I loathe this life the most
Today’s the day I’ll look like everyone else, but
Today’s the day I’ll be going to hell.
Today’s the day I get sung to and cheered
Today’s the day I remember their jeers
Today’s the day when I show them their wrongs
Today’s the day when they’ll sing no more songs
Today’s the day that I take my gun out
Today’s the day I’ll turn the lights out
Today’s the day where I say goodbye
Today’s the day that I will […]
Even as a child I knew how my life would end, I used to think it would be before my 21st birthday. My 23rd birthday is next month, I cant count how many failed attempts I have had. I do know that I am better educated now, I know what will and wont work, how much I should take and when to take it. I have a generalized date set, it wont be until after my birthday, it would be selfish to do it sooner. I have chosen to overdose, I have the medications I need. The money for a hotel room. I am calm […]
Doesn’t look like there are any Aussies here at all.. wish I could make pact. I was planning to go out and try buy Heroin today and overdose on that. I thought what a brilliant way to go, floating away on a high… but I’m scared that I don’t know where to get it and it could cost more money then I have to get enough to OD… so… I’ve been doing alot of research. I agree. If we really believe we want to die and the pain of living is worse then the pain you may cause for anyone you may leave behind, you […]