I HATE EVERYONE. This is not a fucking poem. Why am I still here… I feel a distant pain echoing in the caverns of my heart.
This life I am living is not a life at all. Despair and hopelessness, in 3 years I’ll be 30. Nothing to show for it. No stable job, no friends, nothing left but my insanity. I don’t wanna go on. Can’t wait until it’s over and I’m free
I’ve had depression for 12 years now and when I was 20 I made a suicide pact with myself that if I wasn’t happy by 30 it was time to end it all.
Well my Bf dumped me last night and I don’t see the point anymore. I’ve got a year and a half till d-day but I don’t think I’ll make it to then. These past 10 years have been so hard the thought of another 50 like this make me feel sick!
I’ve tried suicide before but I was found, so this time will be different. I just want to make sure all my finances […]
I was married for sixteen years. I have three sons. I have three degrees. I have also lost everything in this world that mattered to me. I can’t see or visit my sons because I can’t afford it. I am in constant pain with a bad neck and back. The most painful thing is that I lost the only woman I ever truly loved nearly 30 years ago. I lost the second woman I loved two years ago. Without love, what is a person? I keep dragging this reminder of the thin edge of life and death across my wrists every day or so. One […]
Dear Feelings,
What the fuck.
Now is probably the WORST time for you to develop a crush.
Now is probably the WORST time to start feeling again.
I can’t believe you.You dirty piece of shit.Just as you were getting used to not having her around,
You pull this stunt.At 6:30 in the morning.
Maybe if I weren’t gay,this wouldn’t have happened.Maybe if I were asexual,none of this would happen.
Maybe if I were straight even,none of this would happen.
But nope.
I’m gay.
And my feelings seem to use that against me.
So there it is
The thing i’ve been trying to hold back for so long.
And […]
Hi, first time here. English is not my native tongue, so sorry for eventual grammar errors.
I’m just sick of everything. And this is not that old, teenage “everythnig sucks, I’m going to kill myself”. No. I’m goddamned 30 years old and everything sucks and If I could, I would kill myself. But I can’t, It’s just my body reflex to not kill myself even if I really wanted it to. And actually, I don’t want to kill myself but I really don’t see any other option for me. Either that or to feel like shit for decades to come.
So, I’m 30 years old, male, living […]
I’d never felt more suicidal than I had felt today. I was so determined to put an end to this life within the next couple of weeks. I thought that since I had stooped so low I might as well try heroin, it’s not like I had any further to fall. So I chased the dragon, not intending to kill myself at that point but just for a release. It didn’t feel orgasmic or incredibly intense at the time, just relaxed like I could nod off at any time. So I thought that was that and I went to bed. All of a sudden I […]
I can’t pay my bills because my new boss decided we didn’t need an in-house I.T. person. Forget that I’ve been at this organization for over ten years, have almost 30 years in the business and am only paid about 60% of the market rate for my role. Forget that I have been a one-person I.T., E.H. and S., Telecommunications and Facilities department plus doing all the document control and a million other things. This narcissistic pig was Board Chair before they became an “interim” Executive Director when my former boss quit (or was forced out, nobody’s talking about it) and although I’ve been well […]
My parents don’t know im suicidal and ive been thinking about it more and more…Today i went out with my bestfriend whom they both trust. We went to a bonfire. Left. He got lost and when we got back to town we grabbed some food but the chef was gone and our food took forever. Basic basically i came home 30 minutes late and they start snapping on me. Talkimg about respect. I seriously hate them, they compare me to my brother who lies to them all the time and does a lot of drugs. But they don’t know that and flip on me for […]
I am at the point I have already done everything I wanted to. That is within my reach anyway. Hope? For what? I have no family and don’t want one, working is hardly a reason to stick around. That’s all I do.
I love the sand and sea, but not enough to stay and I hardly doubt they will miss me.
Even at the end of a dream vacation thoughts of suicide start coming back out of their hiding place.
I have tried shamelessly to connect and create a life for myself and it just isn’t enough. The only thing I am proud of is how […]
Thanks for taking the time to read my first post & comment so kindly. It’s not surprising that many of us are in agreement on the subject of making the conscious decision to put an end to what is for most of us the unending hell of constant emotional pain. (As I’ve tried to explain to mental health “professionals”, it’s like being trapped in a room engulfed in flame, and the only escape is to jump to your death.)
In my over 30 years of experience in being […]
I just started this thing tonight. I needed a place away from everyone else. A place I could hopefully make someone understand but at the same time I hope no one does ya know? People shouldn’t have to understand what this feeling is. It nags at me constantly. Maybe I’m different from everyone else on here and maybe not. I dunno. Don’t care either. I wanted to kill myself when I was 30. That was a year ago but my roommate’s dad died a week before and with my horrible sense of obligation I tried to stay and help. But now? Now I’m feeling that […]
I have been wishing this life would end since I was very young…12. I was convinced I would be dead by 30, but 30 came and went and I’m still here.
For the last 8 years, my thoughts of suicide have been infrequent and I thought maybe I had grown out of it. I was fooling myself, its always there, like a shadow in the back of my mind.I wouldn’t say I was depressed, I’ve just always felt tired of living and tired of praying not to wake up.
Taking one’s own life is called the cowards way out, but I believe ending one’s life […]
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