Tag:

abusive

Wasting Away…

by capricious 11/6/2014

written by capricious

Life is just not what everyone else makes it out to be. I can have a nice home, a decent job and people around me…. But I am never happy or satisfied. Meds bring 2 or 3 short months of false contentedness. Then its gone.

Maybe I should explain my whole story:
I was born to pretty young parents, had 2 younger brothers. My home always seemed tense, and that lead to a divorce when I was 6. We went to live wih my mom; she soon found a new boyfriend who was an abusive, angry person. He drank, would explode in rage and beat up […]

11/6/2014 1 comment

letting go…

by PrettiBlack334 11/6/2014

written by PrettiBlack334

Im 22 years old. I have a beautiful family that consists of my 3 children, 1 stepdaughter & my kid’s father/boyfriend of 8 years. sounds promising right? wrong. my troubles started at the age of 12. My father struggled heavily w/ a cocaine addiction that I didnt find out about until I was in the 6th grade. while he was a great, loving & reliable Dad, his addiction led him to become careless as it progressed. On June 2nd, the year following my 12th birthday, my father left me home alone with my “Godfather” who just so happens to be one of his drug buddies. […]

11/6/2014 6 comments

abused

by Angeleyes42 10/20/2014

written by Angeleyes42

I just don’t feel happy anymore the last time I remember being happy was Friday morning for about 30 seconds. My roommate is being verbally abusive and I go to bed every night and wake up every morning depressed. I want to change rooms but the other people don’t have a roommate cuz they left so something has to be wrong with them. My roommate tells me I have no butt or boobs, I’m scared to get dressed cuz shes gonna find something wrong with my body. You might say that i don’t need to care what she thinks but I’ve struggled with body image […]

10/20/2014 2 comments

Stumbled across this site…

by CaptainBipolarGirl 10/18/2014

written by CaptainBipolarGirl

Hi all,

I found this site accidentally whilst researching suicide options on-line and I have to say it is quite comforting knowing there are so many people out there that are battling with suicidal wishes…

A little about me…

I am 30, female from UK. I have struggled with depression from a young age and was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder last year.

I showed a lot of promise when I was young, teachers constantly commented on my academic ability and apart from general rebellion I was a good kid, that was until I was 12. I was sexually abused by a family friend and that was the kick start […]

10/18/2014 4 comments

Getting really good at tying a noose

by deadincalgary 9/27/2014

written by deadincalgary

I don’t know why, I told my wife that I hate her. I do t hate her at all, it’s just easier to push people away so taking your own life will be easier. As I’m writing this I’m looking for a long enough extension cord in my garage so that I can hang myself. I’m going to make it easy on my wife and call the police before I kick the stool out from under me so that they find me and not her. I’m not an abusive husband, I work very hard to provide for my wife and son. I just think it […]

9/27/2014 2 comments

Feeling worthless

by Shouldknow 9/27/2014

written by Shouldknow

I imagine my story is a lot like everyone else’s. Crud family & upbringing, string of abusive men, over achieving intellectual, unemployed, getting older, desperate to be normal & fit in. All I’ve ever got right is my two boys. My life shouldn’t cause suicidal thoughts, but last night I tried again. Obviously didn’t work. Ex saved me. I just see no point to my existence…at all.

9/27/2014 4 comments

Funerals aren’t ”fun”.

by AfflictedSmile 9/6/2014

written by AfflictedSmile

I’ve lost yet another person who meant a lot to me. One of the few people who truly encouraged, inspired and believed in me. His funeral is tomorrow, and I don’t know if I can deal with it. He was a close family member, and our bound was something I took pride in. He became paralyzed at 19 through a swimming accident. He’s been quadriplegic ever since I can remember. I never saw him through his disability/handicap. I saw him for the person he was. From a really young age I started taking care of him when he needed help. He came to be someone […]

9/6/2014 4 comments

I don’t know where else to turn.

by abbystarr95 8/29/2014

written by abbystarr95

It seems to me like suicide is my only way out. Everything started going down hill when I graduated from high school 3 months ago. I moved into my own apartment. My parents have never been supportive and were abusive. I was going to college to get my nursing degree. I was determined to work and go to school full time. Over the past month, I have lost everything except the roof over my head. I’m working myself to death rolling burritos at Taco Bell. I’ve lost most of my friends over the summer due to either me moving or them going to college. I […]

8/29/2014 5 comments

I think I’AM a loser after all

by Vader 8/23/2014

written by Vader

Since 2002, I have been making the same mistake again and again. What is permanent is the despair and the gradual loss of confidence till the point that I’m scared of interacting with my boss and colleagues fearing I’m wrong and stupid and can’t do much.

It all started with a marriage which lasted for 3 months. We got married after going around for almost 5 years. and the reason given was as stupid as-” You don’t earn enuf and can’t and will not be able to take care of me”. Of course I was not earning well that time, much lesser than my partner, I […]

8/23/2014 1 comment

I dont know

by jamesTS 8/16/2014

written by jamesTS

Im not depressed, or i think im not. I fail to see what others tell me. I have a verbally abusive dad and slightly over bearing mother. Add few friendd, a grand total of 60 bucks to my name, college debt, poor grades, lack of confidence, and i dont know what i am. I dont have the worst story. Bullied til o was 17, hated by my dad since i could talk, and hurting from massive amounts of medical bull. Its enough for me to considet suicide. Noone will ever hire a second rate guy from high school with struggling college grades who cant stand […]

8/16/2014 1 comment

The Dead Walking

by apple21 8/15/2014

written by apple21

Dana-Christine Umanetz
“…I felt sad, because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t ever be fixed, and this is something that nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it’s already happened.”

This is me I feel like this every day!

The last time I was on this site I was suffering with a sucidal mind and it’s come back. I just imagine the rafters and hanging off them. […]

8/15/2014 1 comment

Hello

by setfree 7/31/2014

written by setfree

I have been a lurker for a very long time. Reading your stories has been very cathartic for me. I don’t want anyone to have a miserable life and I wish we all had great ones but unfortunately that isn’t a reality for most of us. Life is hard and very unfair. I like that this site allows us to share our thoughts and feelings without fear. I am very depressed myself and life has been hard. I can’t find many reasons to continue on but I am too afraid to commit suicide. I’ve come to terms that this is it for me, that my life […]

7/31/2014 6 comments

Witness of my boyfriend’s suicide attempt

by Halfmoon 7/30/2014

written by Halfmoon

He loves me and can’t live without me–he says. But he won’t listen when I tell him what I need to be happy and to regain trust in him after robbing me while high on crack. I was a codependent until I learned to implement a tough love routine.

He promised he would go to rehab so i sprung him out of jail. And then, he skipped off 3 hrs away blowing off rehab. He insists i cheat on him when he’s the only one. He’s psychotic and the list of guys he accused that I am having sex with just keeps growing. We argue and […]

7/30/2014 11 comments

Me

by lostinlife420 7/25/2014

written by lostinlife420

I googled suicide and this website popped up, I was aiming more for methods, but this will do for now. Makes me feel not so alone. Basicly, ive been through hell. My whole life, is just hell. Im tired of fighting. If im going to die one day why cant I just go ahead and get it over with. Its my life. I should get to decide when to end it. Not some drunk driver or abusive boyfriend. Me.

7/25/2014 1 comment

Living with a demon.

by rekotsmarb 7/17/2014

written by rekotsmarb

Certainly not the spiritual kind, just an emotionally and physically abusive, narcissistic and controlling human woman.

It feels like only one of us will make it out of this war alive. On nights like tonight I often think about taking the situation into my own hands and exiting this war on my own terms. I’m tired and I’m dreary.

Then I’m reminded that I fight back harder every single time. Tonight, when physical abuse came at me, I did not allow it. I fought back, I defended myself physically. That was my first time.

There must be something in that, I wouldn’t be fighting so hard if I […]

7/17/2014 1 comment

Celebrate

by Stain 6/21/2014

written by Stain

I have never felt sad about a suicide. By the time I graduated high school, two of my best friends had killed themselves and even at that young age I never felt sad. Confused, yes. But in my heart I knew that suicide marks the end of a problem, and so… much like divorce in the case of an abusive marriage, it’s a good thing even though humans instinctively say “how awful”.

Humans at large cannot perceive the problem, so all they see is the solution which they don’t agree with. If you didn’t know that a woman was being mugged, and all you saw was […]

6/21/2014 5 comments

lost intrest

by SG01789 6/19/2014

written by SG01789

I was born into a family that had an over-bearing, over abusive dickwad for a “father”. He would beat the crap out of my for not having all A+’s simply because those were his grades in school. Seriously. My mother would just stand there and let me beat me, scream at me, tell me how im worthless and nobody will ever love me. Yeah, she would just stand there. She said she never did anything is because she “cant afford to support us without his paycheck”. Yeah. And he never hit my sisters, maybe once or twice their whole life.

School wasn’t any better. I was […]

6/19/2014 17 comments

by DeathsAngel 6/13/2014

written by DeathsAngel

My name’s DeathsAngel like the book I have arthritis, fibromialgia, CRPS, gird, aspergers, am bipolar, have manic depression, here voices, see a shadow, was abused as a child and am severely bullied. I have wanted to kill myself for three years. Last year I told my mom and she sent my to the hospital ever since then I have constant med switches but nothing is helping. I’m under eighteen so I have no say in my meds. I’m severally obese or at least medically obese, and ugly donâ€™t even try to fight me on it. I have no self esteem. Make-up does nothing to improve […]

6/13/2014 1 comment

A quote from the interwebz

by clevername 6/7/2014

written by clevername

“Life is what happens while you’re busy trying to fix RSI.” (repetitive strain injury) [this is actually paraphrased]

Now substitute “RSI” with whatever you haven’t been able to fix or change, regardless of who is at fault or to blame. It could be paralysis or disease or heartbreak, or even chronically reduced self-esteem, due to an abusive childhood, or even just “bullying.” It could even be that you simply realized that humanity seems to embrace and prioritize the most absurd things and notions, and even decides to mandate injustice and tyranny into “law.”

To simplify:

“Life is what happens while we’re busy trying to fix what went wrong […]

6/7/2014 8 comments

Happening

by survive25 6/2/2014

written by survive25

This year I will be 25. I have been obsessed with suicide since my abusive childhood and have known I wanted to do it at age 25. I was raised with insanely high expectations. Long story short, I was beaten by my parent whenever my grades were below 99%. I wasn’t allowed to have friends. I was timed everyday from when I left to house to when I came home. No tv or phone calls, no christmas presents or magical princess birthday parties. Just school work and sleep. I’ve been punched, kicked, beaten with bats whenever I tried to stand up to myÂ parent. I’ve beenÂ calledÂ me […]

6/2/2014 4 comments

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