I hope you read this and know you’re not alone
That the pain in these words you realize as your own
when you look at your scars bleeding red
know that I have them too
That I just wanted to feel something other than alone
I thought I deserved it
I truly did
As I shaped jagged lines I would scold myself for not being better
for being such a waste of life
but the pain always came back
No amounts of cuts changed that
So stop
now
I’ve been on that ledge
I know how much it hurts right now
I can’t promise you […]
Tag:
alone
My phone rings and I know it’s him. I don’t want to answer, but if I don’t, he will keep calling.
“What?” I snap as I Put the phone to my ear.
“I miss you,” he whispers and I can tell he’s crying.
I don’t fucking love you. I stayed with you because you made me feel like I owed you that. I stayed because you made me feel like a dog.
But do I tell him that? Of course not.
“Leave me alone. Give up,” I say in something close to a growl.
He refuses. He won’t give up. I hate him. I can’t stand the […]
Distance
From the voices I’ve heard
Some are never coming back
Some can’t come back
Did I know you
Or is this just a terrible dream
My hand reaches into the dark
Something moves away
I am alone again
The choice was not mine
Where is that safe place
Prescriptions can’t take me there anymore
Again I’ve muddied the carpet with tears
The solemn song moves up my spine
The paralysis is permanent
I will die never having touched your face
I’m going to die alone. I’ve known it for quite a while, but it still sucks to admit. It’s not that knowing I’ll never find “the one,” or, more likely, that I’ll push her away, is particularly depressing. If anything, it should be liberating because, no matter what I do, I won’t drag her down with me, which brings me some peace of mind. But it just fucking sucks. I’m twenty one years old and I’m still a virgin. It’s not even that I just can’t find a girl to sleep with me, ’cause that’d be less depressing. One of my coworkers has, on several […]
My name is Kristin! I am 15 years old. About 8 months ago now, my life was a bit hectic. I was living in Thailand at the time. I had a handful of friends, but I never got to hang out with them, because they were busy during the week and I was busy on weekends. SO therefore, I felt very alone most of the time. Being on the opposite side of the globe from everything I had ever known didn’t help much either. I felt lost and alone. I didn’t think anyone cared about how I felt. One day, I was at home alone, […]
today was a warm and beautiful day, and i wasted all of it inside. i want to die. they say these feelings are temporary. but they don’t know my feelings… i mean, sure, it goes away for a little while, but it always comes right back. like now. been crying off and on whenever i think of certain things, and so i try to distract myself to keep from thinking too much, but there’s nothing to distract me. it’s always at the front of my mind. i can see why some people would turn to drugs… i need to feel something, anything, other than this […]
Today I went to my same old school followed the same routine with the same people who wouldn’t care if I never showed up again. I listen and talked while I was ignored again and no one even noticed when i didn’t show up to lunch. I don’t belong where I am and I feel so alone. Nothing matters to me anymore, not sports, not running, not being social, I used to love to go out but now i just want to stay in bed all day and shut my brain off. The only reason Im still fighting is for my little sister […]
I’m new here, I was searching around to find answers and I found this website
read some of the posts and I’m glad I found this. you can call me kei uses this name for a lot of games.
I just wanna share what i thought, What I feel. I don’t know how to start but I guess I’ll start with I feel sad about everything in my life I feel so useless, I failed so much ,I don’t know where and how to catch up, I feel like it was a mistake that I exist in this universe, I don’t want anyone to be near […]
If you were supposedly being fooled by everyone around you and only you were the one that was gawked at? What would you do if you felt as though your every thought, feeling, written or spoken statement, action, and the like were all being not just recorded by thouse trying to hurt you but judged as well? How is it that you would deal with the fact that at not quite 40 years old, you feel worn down, exhausted, used up, and spent? If you felt like your entire exsistance was spent on a completely uphill journey at full steam ahead and you were just […]
They think you’re crazy.
They think you’re mad.
They call you stupid, worthless, tell you you’re not worth it.
Now you’re walkin’ back, to a place you call home,
but you feel so alone.
The same hurtful hits, it’s your darker place.
In your virgin ears, the remarks they make.
And if they, if they really knew all of those things.
That you do in your room, to hide the pain.
I bet their minds would change.
I’ll bet their minds would change.
They’d change, If they knew the pain.
I believe in these scars, I believe.
It’s wonderful to be a little pawn in the chess game called divorce. I’m being fought over by both sides. I can only keep my sanity when I’m living with my dad. I’m an emotional crutch for my mother, a dress-up doll for my grandmother.
My dad is trying to make the divorce as smooth as can be. Basically, my mother’s side has to also be happy. And they want me. So he must surrender me in the process. I’m screwed. I have no fucking choice in the matter. I have to watch my four year old brother while doing online school work, wasting away in […]
i’m in a lot of emotional pain today. the loneliness is what hurts the most. at the risk of sounding ‘whiny’, i feel completely alone. i have no friends. i am not close with anyone in my family anymore. i live with my parents, but i’m even isolated from them, not like they want a closer relationship with me anyway – they’re perfectly glad to keep interactions at shallow surface-level.
all day, every day, i stay in my room with my cat. i have to be on the internet all the time to have even some semblance of connection with the outside world. i hate being […]
I’m at work right now, I wish I were dead instead.
When I’m with my loved ones, I wish I were dead instead.
I’m alone, I wish were dead instead.
Once I’m dead I will be wishing for something else, because no matter where I am it still feeld like hell.
It has been 11 months since I got cheated on the day before my birthday. I made a date with the weekend of the 4th of april; I just need to book the hotel.. so far all my plans were about being silent, calm, alone so that my body would be discovered only by the amount of concern people have for me.
Now, I plan to jump down from the highest hotel this city has to offer me with enough pills to make sure that I will be K.O. during the free fall…
The reason? Partly the fact that this girl cheated on me over and over […]
I’m engaged. She’s the most beautiful person in the world. But I feel so fuckin alone like.. I no she’s the one for me. Recently her roommate don’t like me and made me move out so I did just that . we’ve grown distant quickly. Three days I’ve been back at my grandmothers house. And she has broken promises and knows of my problems… She’s driving me over the edge …yes I’ve told her…and I beg of her not to keep hurting me… But …she doesn’t care… Not text no calls back she’s slowly breaking me know in I’m fucked up in the head… Why […]
I am 21 y.o girl in engineering unversity. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know when this is all started. I want to talk about this to someone but I trust nobody. I think they won’t take my story seriously.
I always feeling lonely. I used to have bestfriend in elementary school, but she bad-talking me behind my back. I hate her. I tried to make a new bestfriend, but I didn’t find anyone who can understand me. I started my junior high school life. I tried again to make a new bestfriend. I did find one and last for 3 years, until before […]
there comes a time when the people around you, are like, “enough already”… they may not say it to your face but you can tell that part of them wishes you would just go away.
that time has come and gone for me. its been 5 years.
and now, here i am- living alone again- waking up everyday to the harsh reality that it is my real life that is the nightmare, while tidbits of sleep offer my only sense of relief
it is beyond reason to struggle to survive just to live a nightmare- there is no point in that, no quality to life
if i could just sleep- […]
I think I should start by noting that I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder, Major Depression (and psychotic depression) as well as multiple forms of anxiety that include social and general. Yea, my mind is a terrible place. I’ve been to a lot of therapists and taken almost every prescription drug for my disorders and nothing helps and I’m too tired to fight it anymore. I’ve even been experiencing episodes of psychotic depression which is honestly terrifying because I know it’ll get progressively worse. I’ve been hospitalized inpatient 3 times and 1 outpatient stay. As I’ve gotten older my disorders worsen. I attempted suicide for […]
Will it ever end? Will it ever stop? I have so many questions and no answers for any of them. I have no idea what anyone else reality is but i can tell you for sure that mine is shit. I have absolutely nothing to stand on, no foundation or stable ground that I can always rely upon for safety or otherwise. Does anyone know what i am talking about?
I seem to chase away everyone that I love because I am so tired of hurting them all of the time. Every emotion that I have comes across as angry, even when I am hurt […]
I’m a loser , I am a loser in this cruel boring LIMITED real world , reality , real life
by niki
written by niki
I’m a loser , I am a loser in this cruel boring LIMITED real world , reality , real life .. !
I am a 33 years old Asian guy, who used to have so many beautiful hope & dreams ,
and many people have told me that I’m a smart, multi talent , very creative, & wise person
but now the more I see this cursed world, people, humans beings, and this reality, the more I lose hope in humanity , losing hope in human beings, and also lose hope in myself & my future
you see ,.. Reality / real world / real […]