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always

Up and down…

by Palmer123
written by Palmer123

Last week was particularly bad, and I had repeated thoughts about suicide–after many months of not having those thoughts.

Then on Sunday I was much better.  I gave my oldest daughter a special gift.  I had my Rolex readjusted so that it fit her.   I got so much joy watching her wear it.  I’ve always told her that she could have it as an heirloom when I died, but I wanted the chance to watch her enjoy it.  I was so happy about giving it to her.  Yesterday, I was in a board meeting for a charity I serve on and got two nice compliments. […]

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Just For Fun ^_^

by snowflake
written by snowflake

Pick the door that looks the most appealing to you!

 

color-doors

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 – You are a fun individual that likes to keep things light and airy. You are all about nurturing others and appreciating the simple luxuries in life; such as your fine dishware, favorite candle or eating artisan bread from the local bakery. You most likely have a love for traveling and other cultures. You truly want the best for everyone and love creating a welcoming atmosphere. It is important to remember that if you […]

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Tears for a Tormentor

by needarolemodel
written by needarolemodel

Old man walks through a cemetery

We see the stone, he falls to his knees

Fingers claw the grass as tears fall

The picture of despair, he holds his head

 

I look at him

The dead man would always hurt him

Why then, so much grief?

I would not respect a monster so much

 

I always think of the two men, living and dead

The living man would always hurt me

He took my childhood, my desire for life

But I think of what he did for his tormentor

 

And I wonder,

When he’s dead

Will I do the same?

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F*** You ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’

by xsaetocoehnehrasyedax
written by xsaetocoehnehrasyedax

Dear ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’,

I’ve always hated you.  I’ve never trusted you with anything.  All you’ve ever done is beat and criticize me.  Hey mom, remember that time you accidentally threw me down the stairs when I was four?  Hey dad, do you remember that time I came back home from first grade one day and you started yelling and hitting me?  What about that time when I couldn’t go to school for a week in third grade because you burned my fucking arm?  You remember how making me scream in pain became a routine for you?  Do you both remember all those times you called me whore, […]

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looks like a good day to die….

by LostnBroken
written by LostnBroken

…..or perhaps just the long end of so many days not worth living. The pain always outweighss the little pleasures life has to offer, and i have reached my quota for rejection. I have a few methods at my disposal…..and i think i’ve always been a good multifunctioner, make sure this time. Notes all written,  maybe some finishing touches to one or two……..but i’m ready and feel more peaceful than i have in ages. I just wanted to thank those who have been friendly and tried to help. See you on the flip side, lol.

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Fear of abandonment

by Sunnygirl1
written by Sunnygirl1

Ever since I was nine years old, I remember always thinking that my father was going to leave me. He always used to tell me that he was going to send me to live with my grandmother just to make me upset. He used to leave me alone in public, in the metro, in the mall, on the street.

My mother did that too. She used to leave me alone in the house for hours at a time when I was three. My neighbors had to call social services, and I was almost taken away. Sometimes I wish I was.

My father still does this to me, […]

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looks like a good day to die….

by LostnBroken
written by LostnBroken

……or at least be the last in a long line of those not worth living. The pain always outweighs the small pleasures life brings, and i have reached my quota for rejection. I have several methods, any of which will do…..but i beleive i will multitask and be sure this time. All my notes are  ready, maybe a few finishing touches. I am ready, not frightened and haven’t felt this peaceful in a long time. I wanted to thank those who have been kind to me here.

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ghost of the other life

by thedrowninggirl
written by thedrowninggirl

I can’t help but feel guilty for even being here. I’ve always believed life is a gift and there’s nothing so bad that it can actually ruin your life; surely if you are so desperate you are contemplating taking your life then surely you are desperate enough to try anything else that might alleviate your pain- and, I so smugly thought, totally changing the life you couldn’t live with would, voila, take away the belief that you need to die.

I WAS SO WRONG.

I understand now. No matter what I do, if I moved a thousand miles away, if I threw myself into a new career, […]

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Semper Vigilans-Part III

by Soldier1861
written by Soldier1861

While swindling down a bottle of Americana Black Cherry Soda, I had an idea. my squadron’s chaplain. I knew I could talk to him about my depression. He’s such a kind guy, and he was always very understanding. I’m doing it this Tuesday, let’s pray i don’t get sent to a mental hospital.  And if I do, I’ll see you all on her other side.

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Is he just teasing me??? What should I do when I meet him next time???

by snowflake
written by snowflake

Last weekend my family and I went to visit my grandma at hometown. I saw all of my cousins who I haven’t seen for a year or more than we greeted each other but one of my cousins, started to show signs that he maybe is interested in me?

I just want to know if it’s just family love or that he likes me. When I was eating and talking to my mom and sister, and he was on the other side of the room talking to his mom. I occasionally would look to direction he was in and he would be looking at me. A while […]

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Im here why???

by nobodyliesto45
written by nobodyliesto45

I never asked to be here, nor did I ask to be a burden. You can only give so much of yourself before nothing left. I cant scream or clinch my fists anymore, you wanna talk bout it no one listens, or cares think its a joke. They say theirs light at the end of the tunnel but always stuck in reverse. Maybe finally get the balls to eat the bullet until then more waiting and wondering…

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Emotional Abuse

by TreesOfNeon
written by TreesOfNeon

“emotional abuse is when someone does something to hurt you, and when you express your feelings, that you’re upset, the turn it around to be something you did to hurt them and they force you to apologize for it, and your feelings, like always, are rendered invalid and silenced, forever damaging the ability to trust others with your feelings because they are always used against you.”

-as said on Tumblr

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“& I’m still In love cause when It’s that real,It doesn’t fade”

by lifeishorrible
written by lifeishorrible

Good thing-I feel like I’m starting all over.Time to do things right.

Bad things-Sure there a lot of beautiful girls but none of them are you.None of them have your eyes,none of them have you voice.I thought my first love had a beautiful voice but then I heard you and now sometimes before I go to sleep I hear the voicemails you left me just to hear you.I have yet to meet a girl that’s like you.You were everything I looked In a girl and more.I’m not young anymore.I want to settle down.I could honestly see myself settling down her.She used to always worry about her […]

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RelationSHIT

by rprp98
written by rprp98

im actually so sick and tired of the problems i have with my boyfriend. All he seems to do is blame me for everything but i honestly cant see what i have been doing wrong. Then he just chooses to ignore me instead of actually telling me what i have done wrong. We havent seen eachother in 3 weeks because he is always ‘busy’, but hopefully i should be seeing him this weekend but im really doubting that. I really don’t know what i should do? Any suggestions?

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Alone

by creeper tales
written by creeper tales

Standing here
all alone.
Everyone left me.
I’m on my own.
what did I do?
What did I say?
To make them go
so far away.
Nobody wants me.
They don’t care.
They say mean things,
and give an evil stare.
IT really hurts,
inside and out.
I just want one thing
to change my life’s route.
I want someone to love me.
One who’s life i’ll share.
Someone who’s always with me.
Someone who’s always there.
I know who it is.
It’s always been you.
So kind so brave so bold.
The one who’s always true.
I want you in my life.
perhaps one […]

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My Home

by creeper tales
written by creeper tales

So many doors.
Don’t know which way.
Nowhere to go.
Nowhere to stay.
I hear voices,
inside my head.
I hear things creeping
beside my bed.
They say i’m different.
They say i’m crazy.
I don’t do anything.
They think i’m lazy.
If hear voices
they give me shots.
Oh so much medication.
Pills? I take lots.
The people in my head,
they give me so much pain.
But now I know the truth.
I have gone insane.
In my home
I share with many,
each person has a room.
For there are always plenty.
We are all so different,
but yet we’re all the […]

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There are better things in the horizon

by Levi
written by Levi

Bieng someone who has struggled with suicidal tendencies up until about 3 years ago, i have attempted suicide at least a dozen times and numerous other careless acts against my body i know the struggles and know that it can get better. I am 21 years old have been severely physically and mentally abused by my father my entire childhood from being and infant till i moved out when i was 18. He has come at me with an axe on several occasions, beaten me with peices of wood numerous times, ( like a 2 by 4) broken my guitar on me,kicked me(normally with his […]

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Day by day.

by Feeblefish
written by Feeblefish

This is related to http://suicideproject.org/2014/02/31st-of-may-2014/

I know this place is more of a message board but I want a public record of my efforts. Also this way if I’m doing anything wrong or just plain stupid then somebody can tell me.

Day 1. Wednesday 5th of February.

My initial thoughts were that I needed to spread my wings a little so I booked some time off work and booked a trip to Vietnam. I have a friend that lives there and he says I can stay a few weeks. I’ve never been before and I figured that if These are my final months I need to see some […]

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Relief may come.

by mrpink
written by mrpink

I am an Army veteran. I joined up to help people. I ended up getting hurt in the process. I am now out of the army and have a wife and child. I can’t stop thinking about the tour I done or the people I lost. I know I’m supposed to move on and care about my wife and child first and foremost, but, I don’t. I love them, but, I can’t feel for them like I guess i should. My thoughts are always focused on tour and I am often angry. I get so angry I scream. Sometimes I don’t even know why I’m […]

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I’m scared…

by mizerymak3r
written by mizerymak3r

Been dating a girl for almost a year now and we couldn’t be happier , but I’m scared because every girl I’ve ever been with has cheated on me… I mean I’m accustomed to being cheated on :/ its beome a fact of relationships for me, but this one hasn’t cheated on me…. but I’m sure she will And the thought of her with someone ELSE is gut wrenching and painful 🙁 I’m just SO scared that the day is coming… it always seems to. I’m never good enough and its only a matter of time before she sees I’m not good enough and she […]

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