I wanna know what I did so horrible to get such a harf life like this I’m only 17 yrs old I lost my brother & dad to suicide I’m homeless my mom couldn’t care any less about me. It seems like all everyone ever wants to do is hurt & break me down What have I done to get such a hard life? Im terrified or death but it seems like its the only way out of this piece of shit life I have? What is the real meaning of all that I’m being put through cause it isnt to make me stronger. I […]
Tag:
Amp
I think this is the happiest I’ve been in a while…I…
Let me start:
When I was younger, I was bullied. I had no escape from the world. That was, until the day I got my mp3. Music was a whole different world to me. It still is. It’s all I breathe for. My life, my love and my soul are devoted to this otherworldly being…I’m intoxicated…
Anywho, there was one song preprogrammed into the mp3. I couldn’t pronounce the name at the time, so I just called it Jane and Eric’s waltz. It fit at the time. I had fallen madly in love with the song, […]
I’ve not always concealed my emotions. But ‘Never ever would I be caught in a vulnerable state again’, that was my promise to myself, that is my promise to myself. But I find that my promise is causing an unhealthy balance of sadness and the want and need of escape.  Holding everything inside is causing random explosions of emotion and confusion as to which causes me to question everything. Even the stable facts that I already know the truth about. The world in my eyes quaking and the  voice in my head screaming/ yelling.  I distance myself. Pull my heart out from within and lose […]
I was scared .. I am scared. Everyone needs saving, even I do. I need it but I don’t want it. I don’t want the cliched lecture that things will get better or the sympathetic conversation that reveals your place in our relationship that you’re there for me. Â I don’t want empty words to stall my decisions or help me to even consider changing my mind. I think about it all the time. I have set myself to learn to be content with death. I think of where my soul might go .. drifting through the darkness and blackness of empty space that seems to […]
She stood in the cold rain, watching the people pass, remembering… She remembered him, remembered when he was more; when he was something human. She remembered the sun on their faces, when they loved each other, and thought of how they could have been, the family they could have had… They could have had everything… And as her eyes closed on the cruel world, the rain turned warm and thick from her eyes. The world cried for her, for her and for the broken heart of the sea…
Not a day that went by without him thinking about her; her beautiful face, charming laugh, and radiant […]
Hey, im back. I felt the need to take a rant. Read if you wish but if you dont i dont mind.
Its 1:04pm Sydney time and its Wednesday
So, over the course of 2 days, i have told my best guy mate that i started cutting and i was really giving up on life & personal stuf that was going on inside my head.
We played 21 questions the other night and i told him i would answer anything truthfully, and so i did. The questions started of as a joke but then got serious.
He asked ” why did you start cutting?” i told him that i […]
I’m not sure if I should post this but here is the list of why I want to kill myself
I wouldn’t think of killing myself if it was a temporary crisis
I feel so trapped in
1- my country
a woman in saudi arabia has no life at all only if she was lucky enough
in my case i don’t have the luck
women are not allowed to drive I’ve lost a job because I couldn’t find anyone to arrive me to workplace
and now I gave up trying to find a job .. it is like i don’t want to go through this again
anyway my dream is to continue my studying […]
“What’s up?”
“… Nothing.”
I had to steady myself before replying. Thankfully my voice comes out normal and calm. I don’t want anyone to know about it.
I calmly walk to my room, collapse on the floor, lean against the door and just cry.
I’m selfish. Stupid. Arrogant. A waste of money. A waste of time. A waste of energy. Fat. Lazy. Ugly.
Sink down, lying on floor.
Gay. Retard. ******. Dirty. Liar.
Even if I did leave, there would still be those at school who would just laugh at me.
Lol. She’s such an emo.
I’ve been crying to the point that it hurts […]
30 second run time
Imagine this contained in the skull, I’m 99% certain this will be an instant death.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7w4M-LNXuQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player
A kitten trapped in a fucking bathtub.
I think I cried for a solid 20 minutes.
I wasn’t prepared for the adorableness.
Raining endlessly, the usual bipolar weather of New England. Cold & drabby, yet a constant reminder of how she feels on a regular basis. Allows her to empathize with at least something, but ironically rain has no vitalities, schedules, appointments, nothing. Mere droplets, all without knowledge, lacking a single breath of life, just free falling, rhythmically dancing with not a even a slight reason or for any purpose. It’s all just there, forced to fall by the weathering ways of Earth’s atmosphere, its recycling. Yet may still compare with individuals prior to “living,”, born without a choice, forced to live amongst others, unknowing & dancing […]
I wish I could get this feeling away from me but suicide pops into my head all day. I’m 21 years old and feel like I have already lived enough. I’m drained. I sit here now typing this in my bed n don’t even have the energy to pick my head up off the pillow. And I did nothing today. Like I do everyday. But suicide seems so nice right now. Like all this stress and sadness gone in a minute. Â But what’s so hard about it is I don’t want to die. When I think about it I just think of my mom n […]
I’m so fucking sick of people wondering why anxiety, depression, and suicide are starting at such a young age. It’s happening because of our fucking schools. They give way too much work all the time and don’t give a single fuck because they don’t have to do it & once a student crumbles under that pressure they pile more work on. I have had to take so many absences lately because my anxiety has gotten so bad with school. I can’t fucking deal with all this and the expectation of being able to get it all done and teach myself everything I need to know […]
I figure this is the best place to come & get advice for this sort of situation:
I just got my anti-depressants today (my first ever prescription) but I got it so late in the day that I couldn’t take any. Tomorrow I have my license test, and since my anti-depressant has the ability to really help my anxiety, I feel like I should take one before my test. However, I’ve never taken one, and it could have a negative effect, making me unable to drive.
Someone please give me some advice!!
Why did he ask me for a kiss? Why did he have to tell me he loved me? How come my heart told me over and over again he meant it? I felt like I was floating even though he was wrapping his arms around me, telling me to never go. His laugh made me smile. His touch was felt everywhere and the way he kissed me tugged on my heart. Why did he have to fill my head with all these lies? Why couldn’t he just tell me he wanted one thing? It would have been easier. Why did he make me feel higher […]
Do you know that moment when you don’t know what to do anymore. When your world is crashing down but you still have a stupid smile on your face. This is all happening to me,& I’m losing it. Yeah people out there have it worse than me & I shouldn’t be complaining but it’s just to much to handle. I just want to end it & leave it all behind. I have nothing to much to lose. The people who once gave a damn  about me just gave up on me. Now a couple days ago I lost the person I love thanks to my […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=By7ctqcWxyM&list=RD02CMX2lPum_pg
thay say all you need is love or your helth to be happy some people say money if aneyy of theys are right im fuckt