……or at least be the last in a long line of those not worth living. The pain always outweighs the small pleasures life brings, and i have reached my quota for rejection. I have several methods, any of which will do…..but i beleive i will multitask and be sure this time. All my notes are  ready, maybe a few finishing touches. I am ready, not frightened and haven’t felt this peaceful in a long time. I wanted to thank those who have been kind to me here.
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and i
My best friend since child hood was hit by a bus five years ago while he was roller skating the image is still with me today. He wasn’t just my best friend he also taught me love has no gender, no age, no color and now hes gone. I feel guilty that he died because I was going through a phase that I was just being a shut in and not talking with people I feel like if I just called him earlier that day he would still be with me hopefully that’s what I tell myself and its what I think and what I […]
I distract myself, i try to move away from everything but in those moments when ii dont get sleep and all i can think about is everything, that loneliness, the complete sense of failure within me and i realize that if this is life now, the future will not be any better. I’m looking for a way to end this existence because i cant continue any longer..
I’ve been having a lot of problems at home and nothing seems to be going right for me. Today, my nan.. the person i love most in this world, the one who’s ever stopped me from doing anything (killing myself) told me to go kill myself. It honestly broke my heart so much and i’ve selfharmed, ive seriously got no reason to keep going. It is so hard to carry on when you have no one on your side, no one understands me. I dont know what to do anymore, everything i do always turns into a bad decision which i end up […]
bullies in the army. Some shitbags making fun of Abagis for being gay, he was accepted by us back at basic training. For him to slit his wrists and be chaptered out for his suicide attempts. I want to hurt those bastards for that yet i take no action against my bullies on the homefront in the army. I should just fight back full fledged (starts out with shit talking then gets physical and i punch back and they kick harder and suddenly theyre beating on me in formations. I guess i should be the one beating on them. The. It’ll be fights behind closed […]
im 14 and i did something stupid along time ago and because of it. my family had to move out of the country and then my dad lost his job and it had continued to go downhill from there. i cant take it anymore. i want it to end but i cant leave. i cant brig my self to the jump. but im getting closer each time and im sick of it!. i gone down a long road of self harm and alcohol. everyone blames me and all i can think about is that i deserve it!
SERIOUSLY i cant live any longer. i have failed at everything and am too weak of a person to pick myself up, and im too weak to kill myself.
i never delayed gratification growing up just always drowned my pain in smoking pot.
i craved adventure and always seeked for more, till one day in highschool my depression kicked in.
my time has come for me to go. i’ve contemplated hanging, and jumping in front of a train, no. i cant do it.
if we’re gonna die , might as well make it worthwhile.
so the question is, is there anybody serious out there ? anybody in the state of […]
Even if I got all the powers in the world
I still feel depressed and addicted to suicide with no reason
I hate the fact how i can do good not being sucidal and staying out of hospitals.Then you make one stupid mistake and it ruins everything.My mistake was being curious and that curiousity led me to find the pills my mom hid away..I now have a bunch of those pills and dont know when i will snap and try to kill myself.I just know i cant help it and it willl happen.I will try to kill myself at some point.Ive only told my best friend she asked if she could tell my parents i threatened to do it sooner if she did.I felt bad about […]
I dont even know where to start. Actually, i do want to start by saying this site and all who do respond and comment have given me strength to try and better myself. Thank you all. But life doesnt like when i start to fix myself, unfortunately.
Today was just so overwhelming. I stopped getting on here for about a wk just to focus completely on me and i thought i was getting better. My husband/fiance whatever told me we had an appt with our counselor and i HAD to go. I didnt want to but i he kept insisting that nothing bad was […]
SERIOUSLY i cant live any longer. i have failed at everything and am too weak of a person to pick myself up, and im too weak to kill myself.
i never delayed gratification growing up just always drowned my pain in smoking pot.
i craved adventure and always seeked for more, till one day in highschool my depression kicked in.
my time has come for me to go. i’ve contemplated hanging, and jumping in front of a train, no. i cant do it.
if we’re gonna die , might as well make it worthwhile.
so the question is, is there anybody serious out there ? anybody in the state of […]
i don’t want to kill myself i just can’t live anymore. this is not a life. i can’t be who i know i am i have to be what somebody else thinks i am. my life is defined by them. not who i am TODAY. i hate my life, i truly mean that, i have nothing, and i can’t just live life. i am my own person. I’m not what somebody else thinks of me. but what difference does it make if i can’t show them that! i have to go on everyday like this?! the only person i care about is the one who […]
Since when did this place breed so much hate and hurt? if its not here its in a chatroom related to this place. i think which post im talking about if obvious.
the thing is that post and this post shouldnt be necessary. is there not enough hurt in our lifes outside the sight that it becomes necessary to hurt other members?
To “joke” at their exspence for nothing other than cruel enjoyment at hurting others, was it not that cruelty from others that drove us here? is this what our members consist of, abusers and abused?
I am here because this is the one […]
does anyone know of cheap or low cost help? my life is miserable and i’m miserable. i live in the middle of nowhere, i have no insurance and a crappy job. i need help but have no idea where to get it since i am poor.  any help would be appreciated.
im trapped in this life of mine
i want to yell my feelings out
i want to sob and cry and i don’t know
im trapped in this world of mine
i want to express my feelings
i want to tell someone anyone
im trapped in this mind of mine
i want to not be afraid
i want to be happy
Hi Guys,
Um… Might not be posting anymore… Soooo… Sorry…
Au Revoir
I have been taken this anxiety pills that my psychiatrist has give me and they are incredible strong,when i take them my muscles just chills like if they where smoking weed,i feel like in a cloud and i am so relaxed my deppression gets weakest,sometimes i take more than my psy told mecalled it medication abuse,yes who cares.someres i mixed with a bunch of alcohol and its glorious,and sometimes not much but sometimes i brake the pills into my joints and smoke them,directly to the brain,that is just another dimension.
let me go
why do you care
just let me go
please
i might need to go
i feel suicidal right now
can i turn to you
no not really
you’re busy
and i can’t
because you’re depressed too
and you come before me
and i dont matter
so let me go
i dont know
why you care
maybe you do
maybe you dont
how should i know?
i can’t take it anymore
i don’t know how to cope
this isn’t a goodbye
i hate goodbyes
but this is close to it
i don’t know guys
itd be so much easier
than to keep fighting
to just submit
into the darkness
its getting to too much
i don’t really have anyone
to talk to about these things
i mean yeah i have friends
but they don’t know the whole story
and i don’t want to tell them
and my parents yeah i could tell them
but then id have to sit down and have
a long talk with them and i can’t do […]
last night at 4 am i wake up -without any feeling of the usual painful anxious or guilt in my heart ..i had just the usual insane thoughts on my head but without any related feelings nothing special has happened yesterday ,my big problem still there ,and i was not drunk … maybe cause i almost have the exit way in my hand.. anyway it is nice losing the connection between my thoughts andy feelings