The weight on your chest never ends.
He is the beginning,
He is the weight,
Physically crushing,
The pain follows,
Heavier than he was.
The black hole in your chest,
Ripping your insides apart.
The cuts are the closer,
The release and the cause simultaneously,
The blood runs,
You get one true breath in,
The weight returns
You know its not the end,
Tomorrow he will be there.
He will find you.
The weight will never end
I’m done. Had all I can take. No one understands how mentally destroyed I am..
I haven’t smiled in weeks…. Maybe months
I just can’t take it. It feels like my heart is literally ripping itself apart.
I don’t care if I’ll regret this decision, I JUST WANT OUT..
I’m sorry…
this is my end..
One of my old mates that I have been fighting with came around to my house tonight and asked if I wanted to go hunting so I said yes and we went and killed some pigs and stuff with the dogs I had heaps of fun but my legs are sore because we have been running up hills all night it is 4:24am atm I’m so tired time for bed I think goodnight everybody.
In Australia hunting is a big thing and I have been brought up doing it my whole life so it’s kinda like my get away from sitting at home being sad 24-7
…after a week of not seeing her turns into both of us crying in a bar while she tells me that she can’t promise me to be that person who builds a life with me, and that i deserve to be in a relationship where i’m a priority but that she loves me and doesn’t want to lose me. I come home and get on some dating pas to cruise since we’re poly anyway and there’s nothing better than drowning your sorrow in another person and this boy tells me “i can’t date someone who is basically taken.” Now i know I wouldn’t want to […]
Hello there. I have a loving husband three amazing kids a fantastic family apart from my brother who is a complete twat (I mean totally) and I want to end my life…. . . ..I just want my pain to stop and it never does….. I just don’t know how i find the strength everyday to keep going. I am alone in this. I can’t share how I feel sat at the table….. It would break hearts….. But mine is breaking too…took a lot to put this down but it’s out there now…. I’m scared.
HUH. so here im letting out my depression in online world man im so messed up. Let me tell u about myself im cooper 17 years old got a sister we are 5 years apart ( shes 22 now) . She got enrolled in college at country side so my family had to move from city to a godforsaken rural area by family i mean my mother ,me and my sister ya i know i dont have a dad he died in some acciedent when i was 1 . well the messed up part is im not sure how he died how does he look […]
I just.. I feel so empty. Yeah, normally its easy to laugh it off and hide behind a mask, act normal, human even. But right now, when I’m sitting at home and in bed, all of my walls come down. I feel so weak and hopeless- and of course my parents choose this very moment to tell me how worthless I am and how I’ll never amount to anything and how I should have been more like my brother. The worst part? I agree with them.
I’m not anything special; I don’t have any outstanding talents- and trust me on this. I can read people […]
Isolation can be a dangerouse thing.It can change you.it can warp you.it will mold you into something….not human.I know this because I live it.in all the years that I’ve lived in isolation, I noticed one thing.it takes you down a path….it starts to change you little by little.and everytime you hit a vital point down this dark path…you become that much less of a human.For me at least, I know this much.you start to hate uncontrollably, you turn into something else.Im a perfect example, im not human anymore…I may look,act,and sound like one but the truth is im turning into something of the dark.I love […]
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will rip my skin apart.
All my life ive been there for others helping to keep them positive and moving onwards and upwards.
Ive come to a point where i cant even do this for myself. My relationship came to an end on my birthday a few days back and it was my own fault as much as im hurting n dispairing of my actions im breaking apart more and more each day knowing how much ive hurt him n thats the worst part. He wants nothing more to do with me and wants me to NEVER contact him again. I see no way out of the hole i have gotten […]
I realise things will never get better for me. I’m a an ugly retard with no personality or talent and I have chronic mental health problems (borderline personality disorder, social anxiety). This life is futile, I’m a moron and there is no point to my existence. But how can I end it when there are people who love me and vice-versa? My aunt adopted me after my mum died and she spent years, $1000s, and energy treating me as her own despite my differences and what I put her through. I think it would tear her apart. But what’s the alternative? If I stay here […]
The only reason I love sleeping so much, is because my life has a tendency to fall apart when I’m awake…
well lastnight whent… well when i landed it knocked all the wind out of me i gave one hell of a yelp should of kept my trap shut chould of bled out cos of my arm insted mum came out and you can just imagin how much she freeked out i feel so sorry for her thay wiped all the blood of my arm and bandaged it up couldent beare the imbarisment of a suicidel son how whould that efect them and there reputashion “oh my” takes the piss im not upset i didunt die any more im up set cos my mum and dad […]
Ok, so here’s the disclaimer…if you haven’t read The Dark Tower series of books by Stephen King then this post isn’t going to make any sense to you at all.
Really what this post is about though is life, or my perspective on it from a literary sense. You see, through out my life, I’ve been an avid reader and Stephen King is my favorite author; and the Dark Tower is my favorite series. Its a series that I felt I identified with on a somewhat spiritual level. For those of you who’ve read my other post especially my first about my life, I’ve spent the […]
Fucked up fact about me, people that care and try to help me annoy me. So what kind of person does that make me? I have dark thoughts and I don’t feel guilty about them either and sometimes that worries me. I want to love someone, I want to care, I want to feel something good but I can’t. I feel nothing but hate, annoyance, and anger, nothing more and its eating away at me. There aren’t any good parts of me left, I’m glad no one likes me that I matter to no one I’m glad I pushed them all away. Because if they […]
Im so a fuck up in life it always seems that I can’t do anything right i will try to buy thing to fulfill the empty void that i feel or reduce the feeling by putting myself into situation or doing things that i feel will help with the pain but i always come back and i sit here and think why don’t i just end it I could there notting to hold me back anymore nobody would really care you would move on it seems like everyday that past my life falls apart piece by piece I’m spiraling out of control yet nobody can […]
So I posted a few night ago about my situation and now I feel worse. I stood up to my bf and he admitted to me that he was no longer in love with me anymore after 2 months of hiding it from me. And I knew something was wrong and he kept calling me crazy. And I’ve been depressed for so long now I’m sitting at home locked in my room staring at a bottle of pills wondering if I should swallow them or not. And it’s not because of my now ex bf. It’s because I’ve had so many fucked up things in […]
dtm is what we make befor we die ay one who has had a near deth or has died for sevrel secionds (welcome to the club of almost there) will have felt this i first tryed dmt when i tryed killing my self for the 6th time and didunt understand it till at a gig i tryed dtm knowing what it was dtm is the cem in your brine that carms you down to die with out dmt you would spass out on the floor like in a bad scary film so the question will it help you pull the trigger no it whont if your looking […]
so today im not shure good day yes frat with sreess
me and mum fell out over nothing i cut badly im worry about my gf cheeting on me and not talking to me and why is she not talking to me i take £5 and gtfo find a frend to bring me up met a girl robyn shes nice iv helped her befor she was going to this party that i had beentold by mum not to go to i think to my self for a secions you whent to jamaca so cal and colarado (sorry to any ameracans for buchering names) and all befor […]
I was happy everyday I would be happy playing with my friends and family then things changed I went into care and I just felt so lost???? I didn’t know what to do I was in year 5 when I begun cutting it tore my family apart and they would check my arms for cuts they wouldn’t check my legs though in year 6 things became a lot better I was bullied for a while though in year 7 my depression took over I would cut until my arms and legs were red I smoked and did some drugs I didn’t know how to stop […]
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