I am still alive. now at the age of 21 looking back on what i have been trough and it starts making sense again.
I reached to the breaking point again and remembered this site from long ago and was thinking i should spill my thoughts here.
I never told much about my self from the few posts i made here and now i feel is the time to reveal some details about myself just so things would seem more clearly.
so what to begin with? since when i was a little kid our family had lots of problems. we never were a big family, […]
Tag:
Army
I am a 30 year old army vet. I was seriously injured during my time in service. I’ll be in a wheelchair by the time I am 45. The va is so incompetent that I can’t even get my antidepressants or pain meds. I have never been so alone.
I am going to commit suicide on my 33rd birthday, and am getting my affairs in order so as not to burden anyone with my passing.
There’s a boy.I know you will probably skip this post because you don’t want to read the story of a broken hearted girl,but I will write it anyway because this is the book of my life and no one wants to read it.So I will write this story of love and blood here because this a story of a rock/goth/emo/satanic girl (or anyother names people use to call me) which secretly like a normal bo,you know,one of those cool guys that goes to parties and drink and probably think that my kind of girls must be burned alive or killed because they are freaks.What can […]
Over the years of my life people have trusted me with their secrets. Their own stories. Just holding them can put stress on a person, so I decided to share them with whoever is willing to read. I will not use names nor describe the physival apearance of that person.
First, a friend of mine had told me that her mother had been raped during the summer of 2012. She told me it was by someone very close and she is still going to therapy. Although she is recovering from the whole experience, she is making progress. She was not afraid of speaking up (which is […]
my name is Sammantha. i am nearly 20 years of age. ive been out of school for 2 years now working a dead end job. i was a straight A student in high school i wanted to go to school for zoology. it never happened. some where along the line i got scared i wouldnt be smart enought and instead of taking my SAT i took thr ASVAB and was just waiting till i was 18 ton enlist in the Army. finally the time came to do that and my mother who has cancer got sick again. i decidsd to stay back for a while. […]
I know…it’s the right thing to do…but…I…CAN”T IMAGINE MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU! I’M NOT READY FOR YOU TO LEAVE…The army…If…I lose you…what am I going to do…I can hardly make a step without you for one day…what am I going to do for four years….It hurts…IT HURTS! Please…I’m so lonely…already…without you…I will be in pain…I will be shattered…My soul is but my heart will be too!…..This hurts…it hurts…I don’t want to lose you…I don’t want to lose you…
Been preoccuppied with sp chat and FBSP rather than the original. My old home. I have endured much in my past i jsut want out. I need a gun. Fast. My moms boyfriend wants to take me to mexico so we could shoot guns and shoot drug dealers cuz i want the army to “shoot people”. I want to off myself is the real reason. I am triggered by special phrases that fuck me over most of the time. Whats going on? almost always triggers the voices especially when im insane from 12-4 am… I started crying right now cuz of the voices coming back […]
Hello.
I think I’ll start with introducing myself so that, you know who I am and you won’t have to put it all together in confusion.
My name is James, but I like to be called Jamie. It’s more fitting and all of my friends call me that.
I’m 16 and enduring my Junior year of high school, Â so far the hardest year of my life.
There are many things that make me sad, which seems to be the case for most sincere people on this site, so I’ll just break my rant up into parts according to what’s going on.
My Brain
The thoughts that I have are so unorganized, […]
People have told me. Just wait a few years and it’ll get better. I’m waiting…
written by RogueShadow1281
Will I suddenly feel better as soon as I’m out of high school. Is that the big change. I’m sorry, but one year is long enough.Â
I waited a while, it hasn’t changed much, or I’m too focused on one thing to see it. I, instead, have been going through shitty times (yet I may have over-exaggerated a bit) and that hasn’t really motivated me to keep going.
Please I don’t wan to wait any longer. A part of me wants to end it, it’s probably when I’m most depressed. There’s another part that wants to wait it out.Â
The problem with having 2 or more perspectives/personalities […]
I come from a pretty good family. My father is dead but it seems normal to me. I have a car, I’m in college, I will always have a place to stay and enough money to make it through school comfortably. I’ve cut myself before, it was when I was in Iraq. I wasn’t happy, it wasn’t the whole “war” bothering me, it was the people. I don’t like being a girl. I feel out of place. The Army doesn’t care. It was a hard year for me. I’m 24 and I’m staying with my mom until I finish college. She’s nice. Buys me what […]
I felt numb yesterday. Now, I feel shitty, tired, and more useless than ever. I’m going to join the army, get shot or blown up and then that’s it. How will I get through high school though…Â
Sadness creeps into me, cold chills and sweat cover my body. I feel lonely, Jasmine. I love her so much, I don’t want to live without her. People said I have the symptoms of OCD. Possibly, but still, these feelings are as real as a blade cutting into me. (I ain’t a cutter)Â
 I wish she would tell me she wants to take back breaking up with me. She said […]
as i sit here typing each word that pops into my mind, i feel so friken depressed. i think of my past present and future. my past was horrible my present is worse and my fututre might be hell or i might so something with my self. i havent talked to my father in forever cuz i dont trust him he a crack head and i dont feel safe around him he is just worsesome. i saw him for the first time in 2 years and i started to cry cuz i felt scared and weak. i started cutting myself again. i feel like shit […]
people say the word time alot
Life gets better with time
Just give it time
I just need some time to figure things out
Only time will tell
Time heals all wounds
Time is used as a lie and an excuse
People take advantage of the time they use
The only people who truly appreciate time are those who have seen it run out; either for themselves or someone else.
Because time is a lie to those who wish to end their lives
Time just means more suffering.
Still time is a gift to those who survive and wish to cling to life.
My time […]
first off let me just say how happy i feel finding this website
(albeit a little random, just googled cold and alone)
Like im sure everyone else on this website my life story is a bit too long to include on my first post,
so i’ll try and keep it to the point.
I had a somewhat happy childhood. I did have sexual contact (mostly with other boys around my age at the time)
when i was still very young. Then the infamous 8th grade came along and everything changed.
I had to dress a certain way, talk a certain way, be cool etc in order […]
Don’t you hate it when you take a dump and ur dick falls asleep along with ur leg? Happenes to me all the time, probably poor blood circulation for a 17 year old…
I wrote this 3 days ago and since wordpress doesn’t let me write on my iphone without lag, I just copy and paste it which is easier.
My dad pissed me off a bit. Between the facts I know and the facts he knows, we are both ignorant of each other. I tell him what I heard and he tells me that he’s older and therefore he has all the brains and […]
I’ve been counting down the minutes at my high school. I can’t take much more of the classes I’m in. I have hubby bars to combat my depression, but will it help my lack of motivation? Will it help me deal with my deep love for my cousin? Will it protect me from throwing my life away, because life is pointless?
In my FOA2 class, which is Focus on Algebra 2, I was talking with my classmates about the glass is half full and half empty and took the pessimistic viewpoint. It’s significant because that’s my personal viewpoint and I clearly stated it, you have […]
I was sexually molested(hurt) the first time at 4 years old. This continued until the age of 15, when at last my mother died. MY life has been screwed up since I was a little child. Could’nt make it in school. Joined the Army, got a bad discharge. Started robbing people to survive, went to jail. Got married, had two children. I was sent overseas, when I returned home, my wife and daughters were gone, she had run away with our neighbor. I had been using drugs for a long time, I increased use dramatically. Went to rehab, found out I had bipol disorder. tried […]