homelessness, chronic unemployment,prison, death, or living with abusive family. bad health (that can be fixed), and a bad life. all because im on only child, im poor, and i spent years in college instead of a job. i had so much to offer the world. doesnt mater anymore, now all that matters is whether there is an afterlife or not. i accept my fate (though i still am fighting for a decent job). oh yes, most black men end up dead or in prison. why do you think that is? i didnt beat the odds. i accept my fate. i hope the afterlife is painless.
Tag:
bad
To those who got a harsh day tday, i jus ran out of energy tday so i did nth, no hurting myslf, humans need sm rest i guess, suiciding got bored..?
i hope all of u are still fine frm a day like that, momentarily, of course i still do wish nth bad happen later
goodnight.
(well, jus enjoy one or only one good night for the coming suffocating day..)
No one knows. Have made most the preparations needed; Sold what I can, other than my vice, the computers and gadgets. All accounts have a emergency access person and all info is waiting. And Have begun my… ‘Slip’ … ? out of this world.
My birthday is on a Saturday, so when I take my vacation for the following week, Things will be in place already for my replacement.
Bills will be paid through the month, and my arrangements have been made with the funeral home… that was tricky.
The method is still in question. But there are options.
For the trolls good and bad:
Who are you to say […]
“Hold on little girl
Show me what he’s done to you
Stand up little girl
A broken heart can’t be that bad
When it’s through, it’s through
Fate will twist the both of you
So come on dear come on over
Let me be the one to show you.”
Day Three of this forum. I have got some anti-depressants also typically prescribed for people with PTSD. I think that pretty much sums up what I have. Extreme anxiety, constantly stuck in ‘Fear’ mode – fight or flight.
I’ve fought the system for a long time, I’ve been anti-medication but I am honestly grateful now hopefully for a bit of relief. I know the meds come with potential side-effects and I am already experiencing some nausea but hoping that in the long run the good outweighs the bad.
I am also going to have some counselling sessions set up for me. So let’s watch this space. For […]
I am so used to of being sad, depressed, etc that it has become my comfort zone. Perhaps it wasn’t that bad back then, you know, sometimes i still be able to feel happy, shut my emotions off but when i turn it on again, BOOM, all the negativity come flooding back it overwhelms me. Then, things got worse. I stopped trying to feel happy. I let myself being sad all the time. Now, that everything is starting to work out for me, I feel guilty. I feel guilty, for I know there are a lot of people out there not feeling the same.
I’m okay with that. If I can make peace with that, why the hell can’t any of my family members stop bugging me about being single? I know I haven’t dated anyone since 2012, but judging how things went then, being alone isn’t so bad. It’s not that I haven’t gotten over the last girl I dated, I just don’t feel the need to have all of the drama I had last time. I’m going to die in a month, so why the fuck does it matter?
The only reason I’m ranting about this is that I am currently visiting some family and my dad couldn’t […]
I have tried to hang myself twice till now but in vain.Everytime I gather the courage to kill myself,I chicken out and start crying.Life holds onto me like a disease.I have received some very positive support here from “Vertrag” and “another failure”,they have been very nice to me.But its all over for me,I haven’t done a single good thing in my life yet,I m 23 and I can’t even take a proper mature decision.Everyday is worse than the previous one.Things r looking really very bad for me.Life is over for me.My mind is dead,its just the miserable heart that keeps beating.
Unfortunately still alive. Yesterday one of my best friends from high school basically said she was going to kill herself. Seemingly she has it all. Born into money, comfortable, normal life that I’ll never have. She wouldn’t answer as to why.
And after all the pain, I still find myself loving the guy I fell for May 1st, the day we met. I know he’ll never give me a chance. He’s so stuck on looks and ‘proving himself’ to the world. I wish he could see it from a different perspective. One where he could realize he has someone who has given him so much, would […]
My name Is Erin Mitchell and I just join this site
Okay so my suicide story~ I been suicide for a while now I always wanted to kill myself but I only attempted it a few times. I been through a lot.
I have a really close friend killed himself a couple of months ago
I get bullied at school almost everyday. People call me some bad names I should have never been called.
I need to talk to someone before I really kill myself
Does anyone else have something good happen in their life, then feel guilty for being happy? I’m so used to, and “comfortable,” with that depressed feeling that I feel bad being happy. Depression, or whatever the fuck this is, sucks. I’ve been so selfish to the people that love me. And I know it… But I can’t seem to change my mindset. I just drink and drink and drink. Idk. I’ve tried the pills, the therapy, even the suicide. My thoughts are so jumbled. I wanted to post a well thought out, analytical post… But I’m too buzzed I guess. And too jumbled :/ I […]
She had come home from Chicago the night before. She, our roommate and I were drinking and watching Archer. I passed out. I came to with a raw cough in my throat like nothing I’d ever experienced. Turns out I threw up in my sleep and Roommate had to roll me over. He pointed to the soiled pillowcase in the laundry basket.
I heard my girlfriend whimpering low. I was the one in her life who knew her for the shortest amount of time, and yet I was the only one who could discern the barely-perceptible difference between her regular whimpers and the ones that indicated […]
everyone around me is leaving me behind. Friends getting married and graduating college. Meanwhile im struggling to find who i am which is fucking stupid because im 24 i should fucking know. I dont belong anywhere im just lost. Im generally a good person help people out when i can. Im even a fucking vegan. That should count for somenthing rigth? Nope the universe hates me. Everytime i choose a path it seems to be the wrong one. Crummy relationships , unsuitable career, even my hair is bad.i know there is people with bigger problems but Im tired of always failing im done trying i […]
Where do I begin with the shit excuse of a life I have to live? Where do I not begin? Well, my problems aren’t temporary…at least not all of them. It’s not something that some simple exercise can get rid of or basic makeup. It’s…hard to explain but it makes me wish my problems could just consist of being “fat” or having been molested, being poor, or whatever temporary pain someone is going through. Because in my opinion those are things you can overcome. They are permanent and you can make a change. What I go through everyday has been going on for years.
I’m 20 […]
I won’t bore you with a backstory. But it’s not good – abuse, death etc. etc. Back in November I fell in love with this girl. I’d been in long and serious relationships before but this was a very different feeling. After things went, for want of a better word, tits up I gave up on the idea. When I found out it wouldn’t work I got severely depressed. It also sparked OCD, insomnia and anxiety. I felt a little better one day and developed a relationship with someone else however my feelings for her faded and the feelings for the first girl came back […]
I don’t know what I am. I feel like saying I’m depressed will be an insult to those who have it worse. I don’t know what I want from life, I just know that this isn’t it. Sometimes I try to pinpoint the exact moment in my life that I became like this, then I realise I was always this thing. This thing that doesn’t deserve to live. I know sometimes the best people we know think of themselves as absolute trash, but believe me I’m a terrible human being. I’m toxic. I keep hurting the people around me, especially my mother. I find myself getting […]
I would trade no ones shoes to swap suicidal scenarios. I can imagine they are all just as bad as each other. Mental pain, physical pain, no matter what it is. Torment and pain beyond what most of us are capable of handling. How did i get to this place and scenario. Anyone ever youtubed what its like being a schizophrenic.. Its fun for the first ten seconds or when youre on a high then its depressing, scary, obtrusive, crazy and intruding.
Im schizophrenic almost every second of the day and meds do jack shit unless you want to be zombified do you.. No.
Ive heard shit […]
drowning in your flesh
rotting in a cage
constant fear of mirrors
nausea when you look in one
dreaming about slicing off bad body parts and sewing on good ones
inability to look at a cis-person
feeling like a turd when your mom tells you to suck it up and quit begging for attention
envisioning yourself as a good-looking ideal-bodied person and feeling like the shit…but then the fantasy collapses and you’re back to square one with your awkward wrong body
It’s pretty unbearable. I can’t even get hormones for probably several years since my parents aren’t too supportive. I have an appointment with a gender therapist in two months, and that’s only […]
my life is so empty. i don’t have friends. i don’t have a relationship. i have no love in my life. i need to be loved but i’m too ‘weird’ and ‘ugly’. i’m tired of people telling me to love myself. i don’t need to love myself, i need to be loved by someone else. i cannot stand to even think about if i have to spend the rest of my life alone. i’d have to kill myself. a lot of people would think that’s overdramatic, but it’s true. you know how some people need music and some need good food and some need art […]
I have always told myself that contradictions can be a good thing and a bad thing all in itself. Good ones teach us how to make good choices in life but the bad ones show us how bad this can really be. But life gets really hard when you are a living, breathing, and bleeding contradiction.
I am a contradiction because I love the warm feeling that life can give me, but i want nothing more than to feel the cold grip of death on my shoulder. I am a contradiction because so many people have told me that I am a gift and bring […]