I have tried to hang myself twice till now but in vain.Everytime I gather the courage to kill myself,I chicken out and start crying.Life holds onto me like a disease.I have received some very positive support here from “Vertrag” and “another failure”,they have been very nice to me.But its all over for me,I haven’t done a single good thing in my life yet,I m 23 and I can’t even take a proper mature decision.Everyday is worse than the previous one.Things r looking really very bad for me.Life is over for me.My mind is dead,its just the miserable heart that keeps beating.
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Please don’t kill yourself there are so many beautiful things to live for in life… I understand you feel hopeless but believe me there is always hope. There are people in the world who care for you. Even if you feel like you have nobody, there is always someone who wants to listen, whether it’s a family member or a friend or a neighbor or coworker or even a total stranger like me, that’s what’s so amazing about the human race. We care about each other, whether we draw any benefit or not. I know sometimes life feels like a disease… I’ve been there too, staring at every car that passes, hoping that maybe one driver had too much to drink and ends my miserable existence, but believe me, there are things worth living for. The fact that you have stopped yourself from ending your life proves that you have such people or things in your life who you want to hold on to. You are a fighter. You want to live. It just seems like it’s too hard right now. It will get better, I promise, but life is never a downhill ride. But the bottom line is that whether life is difficult or not, there are things in it from which we can derive pleasure even if only in a sunrise or a smile from a stranger. And the fact that there is anything of value in life at all proves that it is worth living. Life is hard. I’m not going to argue with that. But more than hard, it is extraordinary. Keep fighting. I know you’ve got it in you. 🙂
wow..23 and life is over. You still have 2/3 or 75% of a life left…barring any unforeseen disasters. I just watched a movie called Lone Survivor, which was based on a true story. Good story if you want, about 4 navy seals surrounded in Afghanistan by Taliban. One of their lines was, “You’re never out of the fight.”
This doesn’t help
Judgmental.
Hello Randall,thank u for your support,I watched the movie “Lone Survivor” too.But those men were US Navy SEALs.I am not a commando,I am not even half the man,these men were.I can’t even manage my own life.I am an expert in fucking things up,I can’t even take the simple decisions in life.I am just a dumb idiot who happens to be a coward too.Anyways at least,you guys read my post and tried genuinely to help me.
Well, of course, nobody is a Navy Seal. That was an extreme situation. The thing is you’re 23. I don’t know your situation. I don’t know you. I don’t know how strong mentally or physically you are. I happened to have gotten motivated by that movie. If those guys can take all of that, all that pain, all that punishment, all that death and still feel they aren’t out of the fucking fight. Still have a will to live and stay and persist, dammit, then what kind of ***** am I if someone talks to me wrong? If somebody hurts my feeling, if I can’t find a job or other bullshit. Ya mean, I’m going to fold my fucking tent and cry over that? Look what they went through. What I’m going through is NOTHING. Walk in the park.
My life was miserable at 3, 23, and even worse now at 31. If your gonna find a good suicude method go to lostallhope.com
Please read my plan about my eventual suicude if you care to read it
Yes,wndozher thank you.I would love to read about your eventual suicide plan.You are things get worse with time.As they say,”The only easy day was yesterday.”I even went to the site lostallhope.com and from there,I took instructions to hang myself.But the only thing they failed to mention is that when all set and done,how does a person find the strength to kick the chair or to make the jump.I mean I attempted to hang myself twice but everytime just at the final moment,I chicken out and I start crying like a little girl.I am such a coward.I guess I have to gather more courage to do it.
You are right* things get worse with time.
I feel you. Pressure to be someone, to get life together, to make something happen, to have social status, to look after yourself. All these anxieties plague me too. I’m 26, haven’t achieved much either. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t worthy of love or won’t one day find our way. We will. Stay with us and we will do it together. Hug. Xxx
Thank you so much Thisisme21.I have exactly the same concerns as u mentioned.People expect a lot from me.I am lost,I have messed up everything very bad.My mind is dead already its just the miserable heart that keeps beating.I have locked myself up in my apartment for a week now.I haven’t eaten anything for 4 days,only vodka to sustain my mortal body.I am defeated and I m a lost force.You are a very kind person Thisisme21,u don’t know me? but want to hug me.I have never been hugged before in my entire life.Thank u and take care.
Sounds like its time you started receiving one. How about eating just some fruit? An apple might taste nice and sweet.. Just a suggestion. Here is another hug xxx
Thank u Thisisme21.I have read your post too,and I think,you also had a very hard time fighting with your demons(depression).Well,you are smarter and stronger than me.You at least take the right decisions everytime.I want to get some fruits but I don’t want to leave my apartment.I just don’t want to do anything.Its me and my bottle of vodka only.Again thank u for that hug.
WOW. You have a nice creativity to add topics. I feel the same. 🙁
Hello Buddy,thank u for finding time for reading my posts.Were u referring to me when u said “nice creativity”?
I get how it feels like life is clinging to you and you can’t shake it off. There was a point in my depression where I felt so tired and drained that I felt too exhausted to breathe. A few times I think I might have forgotten to breathe (if that is even possible) or at least my breathing pace slowed down so much that I noticed my need to inhale again. Just that simple act was laborious for me. Sometimes I thought that my desire to live was absent enough that my life would just go away, like how an old person who is sick can lose their will to live and be more likely to die. No matter how weak and empty I feel life’s infestation inside me is too severe to completely exterminate.