Hello, I am 15. I am suicidal, I guess. I don’t want to die, but I know I should. I feel the need deep within me. Basicly, I’m gonna spare the details. I am a liar. A big one. I lie about everything. Whether it be how I’m feeling, or what I’m doing, or my life as a whole. These fantasys I create, make me seem interesting. They make me feel like my life isn’t just a drop in the ocean. Ie: I have made up a story about how I used to drink alot, and sleep around. Which is only parcially true. I’ve had […]
This is my first time using a site like this, i have always felt weak if i tried getting help, i have had depression for 7 years. I have been able to control my bad thoughts most of this time with distraction methods, this only works so much of the time, when I’m at my lowest nothing can distract me from the pain i feel, i struggle to put in to words what it is that makes me feel this way.
The main cause i suppose is my life being an absolute mess, everything i do goes wrong, every time i try and make my life […]
I am scared of everything and my only comfort is the comfort of idealizing suicide and yearning to cut and burn myself. I am afraid of an obligation I must fulfill tomorrow and I want to cut up my body so bad. If I cut I know it will be instant relief… BUT then I have to keep cutting. It’s a sick addiction – and I ain’t no spring chicken, I am a practiced and experienced cutter of 18years. I promised myself last month on my 31st birthday that my 30’s would be free of that kind of coping mechanism. My therapist is going to […]
I have a good life most would say,a family who cares about me, friends, we’re not rich but we have a good life…and yet, everyday when I go out to live the same routine over and over again, I wish that something bad happens to me, a car accident, a robbery going wrong, being struck by thunder…I don’t know, I don’t want to live anymore, I just…can’t, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, why I feel so unhappy when everyone says that I should be fine, and at the same time I’m too coward to take out my own life, I keep thinking about […]
The world can be changed in a fort night by a person with a strong conviction to do so.
where does one find the strength, i wonder, to be the arbiter of their own fate, and still find
the means nessacary to empart their brand of wisdom on humanity
I understand now that I never had a chance against these convicted people, because I
flock to folly, I just cant stand against the tide of human emotion,its all just to fucking much to feel.
I am a runaway in my own skin, I am making a concious and concerted effort to check out, I just […]
A little while ago, someone posted an experience about support (or lack thereof) with depression. I think the poster tried to tell their mom, and the response was something like “think more positively, you don’t have it bad at all,” etc. It occurs to me that other people, myself included, won’t tell family or friends about depression for fear of similar shit. Bottom line is, most people do not understand depression. Even a lot of depressed people are WTFing.
Even a lot of therapists, I’m told, have no idea what the hell to do. When it comes down to it, […]
I hate my life. It seems OK looking from outside in but this is not what I want. What’s scarier to me is that I don’t know what I want. I feel miserable and useless and lost and confused. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I am so alone but I don’t want to be around anyone. Doesn’t make any sense. Nobody knows how I feel and I can’t explain how I feel. I wish something or someone would just take me away from this place. I don’t have it bad but I can stand myself. No one gets me. No one…not even […]
I’m bulimic. Yes I use laxatives, enemas, diuretics, I self induce vomiting and I binge on food. So what! I’m so sick and tired of everyone making it in to a big deal saying I don’t need to lose weight that I’m not fat I am they are just trying to keep me fat so they feel better about there below par bodies. Its not my fault they are determined to drop weight. And I’m sick of them trying to “warn me” that it would kill me. If I wanted to live FAT then yea I would stop but no I want to be perfect. I wan to […]
I don’t feel sad when I think about suicide lately. It just seems ok, good even. I am not upset anymore… Is that bad?
so i’m going to introduce my self first, well i guess you can see that my name is Misa.
I love anime stuff, and i’m kinda weird and rebellious.
Some people think that i’m goody goody but that’s always at first, and when i ask them why do they think that i’m goody goody they said that is because of my looks, because i look like i won’t do bad things that’s always the impression, and decide to them selves that i’m like that, […]
What did I do??Why am I considered a bad person to my family??Something goes missing,Carlos did It.If something happens around the house Its my fault.If I loose something nobody gives a shit.Just when I thought I was getting better my own family Is pushing me.I’m surprised I haven’t killed myself yet.Right now I just need a shoulder & someone to tell that Its gonna be okay.
Listening to certain pieces of music instantly triggers anxiety attacks, my mood worsens in just a few minutes and I get those thoughts that I would actually like to avoid. The pieces aren’t special or particularly high quality, it’s rather the fact that I listened to them for a period of time when I felt really bad and thus my brain associates it with these kind of emotions. I can actually trace some songs to the time and reason of feeling bad, which is kind of funny since I was listening to music to make me feel better and now it does the exact opposite. […]
i hate myself so goddamn much and i just want to take all the pills in my fucking cabinet. everybodys going to end up hating me and leaving me like they always do. there’s no point in me even living anymore and no point of me trying so hard not to relapse with the cutting and stuff… it hurts so bad to fell this way and to sit here and cry and hurt while everybody else is so happy. i hate that anybody has to feel the way that i feel but i deserve it…. i need to die…. i want someone to kill me… […]
This is my first post to this site and I’m a little apprehensive. My soon to be fiancé and I broke up yesterday. I’ve been crying ever since. She and I met online. She was going to be the last person I talked to before I ended my lifei . SHe and her boyfriend had broken up and I wanted to make sure she was okay and make one last person happy before I ended my life. We started dating and I was planning on proposing. It all came to a stop yesterday. I’ve got bad PTSD as I am a volunteer law enforcement officer. […]
It is now November, and I am still here. I’d be lying to say that I am happy. I’d be lying to say things are fine. Nevertheless, things are easier. Things are not as sad. I am able to sleep with less trouble. I can keep my mind off the bad things more easily, without bigger distractions.
Hopefully, things will keep improving. We shall see.
Either way, for now, I’m still here.
I have a bad habit of not taking my meds. Only two of them are important, one stops the seizures and the other helps me from attempting at my life. Even when i’m on my meds i still wish to die but off of them,hell i can only say it’s hard to resist killing myself. My boyfriend would be completely ruined and so would my family. That’s the only reason to be honest, i except the thought of death. I’ve been told that i’m selfish and complain a lot but if people knew the crippling pain i was in they would shut the fuck up. […]
I can not escape this feeling. I did what I could today to get away from this. Here I am feeling the exact same way. I feel useless, a bad mother, a bad person. I don’t know what else to do. I called my therapist today to get some meds. He never called me back. He told me to call him. It was a crappy day. Even though I did everything I possibly could to make it a better day. To get my mind off everything. When will this feeling go away for good? I Just can’t feel this way any more. My son deserves […]
No matter how bad your life may be right now. It seems to always get better. You just have to keep your head up. I’ve went through it all. Never thought I would be where I am today. Thanks to my mom and the help I got. Know that you’re not alone. We all have problems. You don’t have to face them alone. If you ever need help im always here for anyone that needs it. You’re king, you’re a queen. Stay beautiful. Stay strong. <3
🙂 The bud makes bad days, good:-)
I had a really tough night last night. Nothing that bad happened but I just felt out of control and really really terrible.
Even after sleeping I still feel really terrible. Now I have these feelings inside me that won’t go away and I don’t know how to release them.
I feel the need to hurt myself. It’s really really strong. I promised not to cut myself, so I started scratching myself and pulling out my hair because I don’t know how else to release my feelings.
I want to hurt myself. I want to release my anger and anxiousness and feelings of being out of control and […]