Every car looks the same,
It’s time to go.
Breathing trees,
How lovely to see,
Can I touch them?
No.
Locked in, Locked up,
Doors without keys,
Beds without sheets,
Pull on the curtain that encloses me.
Kept alive but no machines,
Three shadows is all you see,
One hall, one sound,
Screams.
We like to stay unseen.
Tag:
Beds
I don’t know how to write this, I’ve never written something like this before, so I guess il just start, I’m sorry if it sounds stupid or doesn’t make sense.
I don’t know how much longer I can feel this way, I had an amazing weekend, I was happy for the first time in years, but alas, 5 days on and I am back to where I began. I have a psychologist that I see and sometimes a psychiatrist, also two people from a subsection of the nhs who come and check on me as I am 17.
I was going to be admitted to a hospital […]
is it weird to be thinking about music at my funeral? don’t know where this came from but i decided i wanted ” the sound of silence” old or new version played at my funeral. don’t know where this idea came from. i want to express my sorrow for those people who died in the psych hospital fire in russia. by pure chance i am a “nutjob” in a first world country. some of the russian patients died in their beds. sedated. sick.
I didn’t always live in a nightmare. I didn’t always have conversations with the voice in my head. I wasn’t always watched by disembodied shadows. I didn’t always hear tortured screams and maniacal laughter or my name in empty rooms. I used to be “happyâ€. “Happy†is an illusion created to hide all the pain, madness and fear. It was never real. But I used to experience that bliss, “Ignorance is bliss,†they say. That bliss is gone. I used to smile and laugh all the time. I used to think, or be thoughtful. Before the clouds, and locks. Before the black fog that covers […]
I was looking through my deviantart today and saw some old poetry I had worked on up to three years ago and realised that so much has changed, but at the same time, nothing had. I decided to put it here because I’d like to have it in one spot to look back on and remember how far I have come and it just feels right (probably sounds weird). They are in alphabetical order, not chronological and not all of them are suicidal as such (most were written before I realised what it was like to be suicidal), but they all are from the heart […]
I probably don’t seem like I’m going through a lot but to me, I am. Ever since I was a kid i was really emotional, I may have acted sooo tough. But in reality the most littlest things hurt me. I’m a girl btw, and I was one fat ugly girl when i was young. I was always hated ever since I was 6. Everybody in every school I went to always hated me. For some reason and i swear to God i was soo nice and I didn’t talk much,  I still remember I use to have this little doll my cousin made me, and I […]
So lonely but apparently having emotions is wrong is since I am a guy. It’s really just depressing how the world looks at my situation. Basically I’m a wuss for crying even though I have perfectly good reason to. Â Wanting to hug and kiss someone makes me needy although isn’t that one of the key thing man walks the Earth? To find love and acceptance? I was put in a crisis center aka mental hospital for people my age and you would think I would hate being there. If I can tell you this I love being in there. Sure the beds are hard to […]
I am a 59 year old male who just wants to go to sleep for a very very very long time….forever would be nice. I just want to die in my sleep, without experiencing any pain.
If I were to die right now, I could honestly say I have lived my life to the fullest given certain constraints. You see, I was born with very bad asthma back in 1949. Back in the 50s, doctors didn’t know what to do with us children with asthma. So they made us stay in our beds, put a big piece of plastic over the bed, and pump in oxygen. […]