Well, it looks like my psychiatrist is going out of business, as if mental health wasn’t already underfunded enough. I don’t know if anyone who worked at the place will start up a business here. I guess wealth and a great education go hand in hand, so maybe those doctors can form a new business, or maybe I’ll just be on my own from here on out. At any rate, nothing has really changed. I’m still bitter and I barely leave my room. I still have no friends because people make me contemplate the ultimate futility and disillusionment I feel when pursuing relationships. Plus, another […]
Tag:
bitter
Reminiscing feels unhealthy. I am taxed with the question, “When will you settle down, get a wife, and have kids?”
I do not want kids… I do not want marriage. Why should I want these things when I do not believe in love anymore. The thought is beyond exhausting. I had always believed in giving someone all of my heart when in a “committed” relationship. Despite good intentions, best efforts, and more than several long term tries – it seems all I earned was heart ache;
• Incompatibility
• Incomprehension
• Infidelity
• Insincere Involvement
All that I am left with is • introspection… it must be me. My fault. It cannot be all of […]
Time does not bring relief; you all have lied
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
I miss [her] in the weeping of rain;
I want [her] at the shrinking of the tide;
The old snows melt from every mountain-side,
And last year’s leaves are smoke in every lane;
But last year’s bitter loving must remain
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide.
There are a hundred places where I fear
To go, — so with [her] memory they brim.
And entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell his foot or shone his face
I say, “There is no memory of [her] here!”
And so stand stricken, so remembering [her].
-Edna St. […]
What’s the stat? 50% of happy blushing couples end up in bitter divorce, right?
So…there’s prospects of a divorce, finally. For my parents. After 15 miserable years. She becomes increasingly self-absorbed, clingy, needy, sensitive. He becomes withdrawn, detached, bitter. He falls in love with another local woman, bubbly, blonde, a book-lover, confident, independent. I half-guessed that my dad was swirling around with someone else. It was inevitable.
It was wrong, yes, but I can’t blame him. My mother isn’t easy to live with. Actually, it’s pure hell. Don’t get me wrong, I do love her – many good traits, etc – but my mom and my dad […]
I thought I was doing good by not saying that as often on public forums. It’s natural to blurt it out every 10 minutes though. Sometimes the feeling creeps up behind me and forces me to shutter my head neck and shoulders, then the words come out.
When I say I hate my life.. it means I hate where my life has come from, where it left me and where I know it will keep leading me. I don’t hate the world even though that comes out sometimes too. I don’t hate people even though there is so much evil out there. I feel I’m […]
I’m not the person I once was…I’m not the person I had hoped to be..
My mornings are filled with sadness and fear and tears.. every morning when I drive to work, I get the same choked feeling, only now it starts before I leave the house..
My life is empty.. it’s bitter and it’s hopeless.. I’m not the hero I’ve tried so hard to be, in fact now I’m even less than nothing..
I’ve closed off from people in my life.. when I would do anything for some attention then, now I just sit by myself and cry..
I cant eat.. I’m afraid to […]
On my wrists and at my feet,
My containment, now complete.
To hell they say, will be my way –
Leaving dreams to fade away.
Hollow now, I sit and stare –
Recalling deeds that got me there.
I hope my friend will come to call,
Dressed for death and standing tall.
Ready now, I close my eyes –
My heart is slow and tranquilized.
Surrender now – the only way
I wait for him to call by day.
Late last night he left my bed,
And took the halo from my head.
An empty shell was left behind,
A pretty face without a mind.
I sit within my gilded cage,
The need has left to turn the page.
Crying out brings no […]
Even that you never stayed away from me, there was always the fear that you commit fraud to my love. And now I realize that my heart deserves an explanation. I do not regret doubting, questioning your loyalty and even the way you look. And now the bitter future is me, I’ll be always there; cause well, I do not want to miss you.
I just registered here to have somewhere to share. Tonight was a close call. Extremely close. It made me realize I need help badly, but I have nowhere to turn but the internet, so here I am.
It all started a little over a year ago. My landlord handed me an eviction notice because I was 3 months behind on rent. Then he handed my wife a note telling her about how it was all my fault. We were already having marital problems, mostly because of the financial hardships we’d landed in, and that just made it worse.
We managed to find a crappy little trailer to […]
I feel like I’ll never emotionally connect with anybody. I have changed quite a bit in high school, since many of my friends moved away after elementary. I’ve become more cynical and depressive since then. People just don’t like a bitter personality. Also, admittedly, I’m lazy, but not couch potato lazy: I rarely watch TV because the news is depressing and reality TV is just a distraction from reality, so I either go on the computer or sleep. Many see this as a flaw and something that should be changed, but I think that this is who I am. I believe that life is pointless […]
For those like me there truly is no rest for the weary.But at the same time if your like me you simply cannot just end your life.not that I dont want to.its that I cant.being alone for all this time has shaped me.in my eyes I must be independant and not rely on anyone else.I must do things the right way the first time or not at all.discipline comes into action if I show weakness.I become so angry with myself for making even small mistakes it intoxicating.I have too much pride you could say.like this for example…I would rather die than be caught off guard.I […]
I am 15 and unfortunately a depressed and frustrated girl. I never had a normal life. I had all kinds of bitter experiences uptil now. My life lacks one thing the most ‘LOVE’ …I wish someone special would be there in my life who would magically fix everything up and would love and care for me so much that i wont feel depressed anymore.
Excuse me…I seem to have left my pain laying around here somewhere..have you seen it? It’s black and fowl and twisted and I just can’t seem to hang on to it anymore! lol call me butter fingers if you must but it keeps on slipping away!! 😛 lmao!! Anyways..if you see it, it’s labeled “loathing of a lost and forgotten soul”. It might be walking around aimlessly somewhere here, just thought I’d check again. Let me know if you find it’s sorry little bitter ass! lol
Thanks! 😉
I hate being in love. It makes me very depressed. I become bitter towards my partners. I just want to end it all. I can’t be with them because I hate them sometimes, and I can’t be without them because I’m miserable. I just want to die -_- I have nothing. I have no job, no money, no father. I miss my home, england, I hate where I live, Canada, I’m nobody.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GntRHCuHorc
I think our last kiss was meant to be quick and chaste, but after the first touch of her lips fire leaped up and roared through my belly. My fingers yanked her close, digging into her back, and her arms embraced me to her as if wanting to meld us together. I knotted my fingers in her heavenly hair and bit down on her bottom lip, making her groan. Her lips parted, and my tongue swept in to dance with her. There was nothing sweet or gentle in our last kiss; it was filled with sorrow and desperation, of the bitter knowledge that we could’ve […]
All I want is to end it all. To simply not be. My whole life I’ve been given everything you could ever want, but I was never happy. No one understands it’s always the same thing: why? That’s so selfish. You’re life is so perfect, you have no reason to be depressed. Things can seem so different from the outside than they do from the center of the battlefield. My mind is constantly racing I never sleep I never get a break from my thoughts. I have been sad and angry for so many years with little bits of happiness yet every time it’s ripped […]
This pain is unnatural, a form of devious evil. It laughs with its twisted and corrupted face. Tears are trying to draw the pain away, create a smile – which fails.
Will I die soon, is it coming closer, will my heart give in to the pressure. Physical pain; please leave – set me free.
Remove my wings but let my worn out body breathe and ascend again.
Let my demise be painless, until you plunge me down.
Into the abyss.
You probably couldn’t care less to other people’s struggles because you got your own problems, but maybe we’re facing the same situation.I’m almost 18 now, and I’ve been struggling with my appearance since 13.It’s one of countless reasons why I feel depressed and suicidal.I’m a skinny pale shit, I have acne for 5 years, I hate my hair, and so on.People are always criticizing me : “You’re ugly!”; “You should get a tanning, ugly corpse!”; Your acne blemishes are horrible”; “You’re so skinny and look like a girl, an ugly girl!”.And the worst it’s that it’s truth, a harsh bitter truth.I try to ignore their […]
After being beaten and abusea by my step farther I run away from home. i spent 2 years sleeping rough before they found me. Refusing to go home he beat me again, this time rupturing my spleen. I was in hospital over 2 months. No one came to visit No contact from any one. Sum years later I am still bitter and angry. I have a gross scar that take up most my chest and can’t take my shirt off without people looking and asking questions. I don’t sleep well and often wake up screaming. I struggle to make friends, trust people an have been […]
Since when did life become working 5 or 6 days a week. Sitting in traffic an hour each way mind you. Despite living less than 15 minutes away from work, it takes a miracle to get home in under an hour most days. All that just to barely make a descent income, to support myself, pay bills, and whatever is left that the government doesn’t take from me I save some and spend the rest on gas and groceries. It’s like an endless cycle. There’s no denying I’m depressed and in need of serious help. And I’m not talking about the help that comes in […]
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