This upcoming January would have been a year of being clean.
I knew I was stronger than this, I had the strength to go this far but I couldn’t take it any longer. I now have marks from quick slices of a blade on my upper thigh. No one else knows about it other than you guys.
But let me say, I’ve never felt better.
Mike is her passion. You’re just an orgasm for her when she can’t be with him. You can’t ever be anything more than that for her. You hurt her too deeply when you left her alone. Just give up. You can never make her happy. You can never satisfy her. You know, deep down inside, that you’ve lost a part of her that you fell in love with, and now, it’s easier for her to have passion with anyone but you. Now just drag the blade down your wrist and be done with the pain. You suffered as well. You were alone, too. But all […]
And the girl said I really like you
and depression said no she doesnt nobody likes you dont trust her
and the guy said I like you too
and the girl said I dont like you
and the blade said i can make you smile.
It’s all i think about
Can’t get it out
So hard to resist
all i have is a small razor
so i drag the blade across my legs and arms
wishing to do myself much more harm
one day, one day
…Suicide
This weight is crushing me…. i can’ t keep this facade up any longer
I’m so weak. No wonder I’m alone… fuck it, where’s my blade.
don’t judge….atleast it takes this pain away
It feels so good to cut so deep in your skin that it wont stop bleeding for hours.
I love the feeling afterwards. When the wounds are trying to heal but because youre wearing clothes it keeps on opening again.
I love the way it stings everywhere when I move to remind me what a disgusting piece of trash I am- as if I could forget that.
I love seeing the blood slide down my body.
When I only look at my blade alone I smile. I cant help but smile while I cut myself.
Why would I not smile? This is what I enjoy […]
What’s the worst thing I could say? Things are better if I stay..
So yeah. Hi. Today has been… Interesting. As you know yesterday was 9/11. *in comes Daniel* ‘If they couldn’t be saved, then neither should you’… He was talking abut every known terrorsit attack. And you guys know I have that thing going on ith the illuminati and thinking that they’re watching me? Well, that got slightly worse too. Had a mini panic attack. 🙂 (Y)
And so now, I avoid people in the street for fear that they may try to do something to me. It’s a little worse than it sounds… I probably […]
some of us, they are visible
but no one seems to care
some of us, its deep within
all the tears we hold in
some of us come home to abuse
scarred to face the back of his hand
some of us go home to the blade
and as the blood drips down our arms
we think of the life we are set to live
some of us can change it
finally speak up
some of us can only wait
living day by day
some of us cry to sleep
“It’s dying, It’s dying!” They all cry,
Your heart got far too close to mine,
And now it’s ripping, breaking inside,
My body breathes a sigh of relief as it’s time.
I can hear it in the wind, I can feel it on my skin,
“Just one more time, you’ll feel much better ” I can’t let these voices in.
“Please don’t desert us, we were always there for you,
On those lonely nights when you were lost and didn’t know who to turn to.
Self harm? No harm! What harm can it do? They take me away cause they know it hurts you.”
Now she’s […]
you know that feeling that you get in the back of your mind? how worthless you feel? how empty your stomach feels. yet, you cant eat. that feeling that at any moment you can completely fall apart? the blade just dosent cut deep enough anymore? the doctors prescribe you with this pill that does nothing but make you feel robotic. and death is never a promise….and when you run and find you really have no one to run to? you feel lost? you dont understand the words that come out of anyones mouth anymore. you constantly fall in and out of conciencessness. no […]
Hello, my name is Shawna and I’m new here, I just found this website today while looking for some sort of support group. I’ve had been dealing with the effects of depression for around 4 years now, almost 5. Somehow I’ve fought through it that long, but not without having extreme ups and downs, mostly downs. It’s been so long and I’m feeling so tired. I’m a recovering self-harmer, been clean for about 4 months. But I’m having a really really hard time with the urges. I’ve been feeling so sad the past few days, so so sad and angry and just sick and tired […]
The last words he ever said, were said to me; his little princess, I had been.
I know it has been years but all the pain is still here
and all I bottled up keeps flowing out in never-ending tears.
I’ve used a blade and I’ve used pills but I’m filled with all this fear.
So I keep on breathing, dead and alive at the same time.
All I want is to make it stop, not my life but the feelings
Erase the scars and form real smiles
Because I really do want to stay here for a while.
Today, I met a little girl,
With brown hair and brown eyes.
She is only ten years young,
But beyond her years she’s wise.
Today, I learned that life’s not fair.
This girl, she cuts her skin.
Barely grown, yet feels such pain,
From outside and within.
Today, I saw the truth denied,
To me by many folk.
Life is hell and then you die.
Today, I finally broke.
Im going out,
With your notes in hand.
They get to me so much,
It is something i dont understand.
I kept all the letters,
The ones that you wrote.
I miss so much,
Getting a note.
I read them once more,
Before i grab my knife.
I remember our good times,
When i didnt think of ending my life.
But now that is over,
And I am done.
Im not going to live like this,
So I grab my gun.
Tear run down my face,
I let out my pain.
Put a blade to my wrist,
Slice threw a vein.
Thats how they find […]
She pressed down
On her beloved blade.
The only thing
She had left.
She pressed until
she couldn’t bring
herself to go any
Deeper.
The skin was splitting
As she bled out.
No one believed her.
No one loved her.
No one really cared.
She was alone in how she
Felt.
In how she
Lived.
They all pushed her aside,
Saying she wasn’t damaged
ENOUGH,
Broken ENOUGH.
She just plain wasn’t
Good enough.
She got to the point,
Where she couldnt even
Face
How she felt
Without her music.
Her love, he told her
That she must simply
Get over herself.
And constantly…
Her mind, […]
failI am less than nothing, I am such a fuck up, I cannot do anything right. I try so hard. I cannot do anything right, I fuck everything up. I am nothing. I am worth more dead than alive. No one understands this, I am so fucked up, getting calls, everyone wants something from me, and I cannot deliver……  So much, I cannot do this any more, I try, God knows I try,, and even God has turned His back on me. I have hurt everyone by just being alive, and no one wants to hear me, not even God. I know God is dissappointed […]
well its been up and down since i joined this site ,i shared my story , how i was raped , and used , hell im still used by so many of those close to me and it hurts but i lets them cause im hurting myself in the long run.When i joined this site , i had never hurt myself , never tried killing myself , i had only had thoughts about it , i was 14 when i joined up , im now 15 ,16 in 4 months ive tried killing myself twice , and cut myself a few times , ive also […]
A few days ago I lost my head again. It really gets more frequent. It always starts with the truth. The truth about who I am inside and out. It’s why I cry. Because I’ve worked so hard to try and fix myself. Then I realize I’m unfixable. I’m hard-corded. For the first time in quite awhile I want to know why my bio mother did not abort me instead of abandoning me. They really are quite the same. She doesn’t get to see me. And never will. If she saw the person I am and m becoming each year. She may realize the truth […]
Every day I hope that something can happen to make this easier for me. On my way to work, can someone run a red light and hit my car, can I just not wake up, can something out of my control happen, to just get me out of here. I don’t want to be here, and I haven’t for about a year. All these people who die in accidents, who are murdered, who just DIE… and here I am. Nothing…
I’ve been cutting for almost 10 years… I’m 24 years old, with the same habits I had in high school… it was never a ‘I want […]
The world aint a friendly place.so quit finding friends. The pains and hate will never leave so quit feeling them.. Drop the blade do what i said quit feeling them
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