I googled suicide and this website popped up, I was aiming more for methods, but this will do for now. Makes me feel not so alone. Basicly, ive been through hell. My whole life, is just hell. Im tired of fighting. If im going to die one day why cant I just go ahead and get it over with. Its my life. I should get to decide when to end it. Not some drunk driver or abusive boyfriend. Me.
The relative anonymity of this site makes this possible. I have a soul that thrives on confession and a mind that recognizes when that’s a bad thing.
A month or so before finding out I was pregnant with my second son I attempted suicide. I was in a very abusive relationship and I felt trapped. Looking back I am aware that wasn’t the case but it felt like it. On top of the abuse I dealt with a lifelong sense of worthlessness and insecurity.
I consumed nearly a fifth of cheap vodka as fast as I could and ate 20 percocets. My boyfriend found me […]
Let me start off with the basics . I’m 13 almost 14 . I have 3 brothers ( my older brother is my half brother ) I’m the only girl . My dad wishes he never had my brothers and I , and his life would be so much better if we weren’t in it . He was an alcoholic and a drug user before he had us . He did a lot . Him and my mother were together for 17 year and are in the process of spilling up . My mother has walked in and out of our lives for the past […]
Hey I seriously am having a really really bad couple of days. My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for a little over a year and a half. We have been having problems and some people take my side and some take his, but I’m not really trying to figure any of that out. I am bringing it up only for yall to see where this is all coming from. My boyfriend was treating me like an object and when I would try to go somewhere one night when I was upset then he held me down on the bed and wouldn’t […]
I’m the oldest of two girls. My little sister was born a colic baby so she required a lot of attention. The attention didn’t stop even after my sister stopped crying constantly. It still goes on to this day.
I remember absolutely loathing my sister. Not just because she was spoiled, but the fact that she was spoiled rotten. Not to mention she was a kiss ass as well.
Growing up, she would wrap up my toys for birthdays and Christmas and give them to friends and family our ages. My parents thought it was cute that she was being so thoughtful. I didn’t think […]
I’m gunna be straight forward and say I’ve never attempted suicide. I’ve thought about it many times, but never tried. The main reason I haven’t is because I’m scared. Everything in my life has been determined through safety. I’m scared of almost everything. I scared to let people in, to talk to people, to do something wrong, to look stupid, or to let people down (just to name a few). My parents constantly fight and I go most days without having a real conversation with anyone. My friends and family all have this expectation of how they feel I should be. Which is smiling, happy, quiet, […]
I’m still around, I moved in with a friend for a bit at her apartment. I’m at a Starbucks now, so I get an Internet connection. I’m moving my stuff back to my house though, my roommate has a boyfriend. And he’s always there. And they don’t understand how to close a door. Nuff said. Sorry I didn’t get on sooner so I didn’t freak anyone out
why? i dont get it anymore why am i still here when no one needs or wants me i feel so unloved from family and even my own boyfriend we just argue all the time and now that i am put into another foster home i just cant do this shit anymore i feel so pathtic doing this shit again when i told myself i wouldnt fall this hard but sadly i did and thats whats the hardest to belive that in my darkest deepest hole that i can feel this shit and still am carrying on with this life. i really just need to […]
Honestly I thought I would be dead by now, and not having to deal with everything I am having to deal with now. I wish I was dead. I feel like a burden to my sister who has been trying to take care of me. I used to live with my boyfriend but he wasn’t sure if he could handle it anymore. I still can’t forgive a lot of the hurtful things he has said. Sometimes I wonder if I would be better off without him in my life. Even now, most of my things are in his possession so I can’t really end things. […]
I never realized how exhausting it is to research ways to die, along with writing a note that explains it all. I’m so exhausted I’ve taken 3 showers today just trying to get it all done. By the end of Friday I don’t intend to be here anymore. When my boyfriend at the time talked me into an abortion I didn’t want he promised he would be around afterwords, I made sure he said he would because I knew I couldn’t handle all of this alone. He left regardless and I told my family about everything because I was afraid of what I would do and […]
In fourth grade I moved to a new school..I was heavier than most of the students there and they made sure I knew. They constantly bullied me n called me fat and said worst thing about me. My teacher even pulled me by my hair and threw me into the principles office. I always went home crying. After that year I moved schools. I made sure I worked out so I wasn’t as fat by the time 5th grade came, I entered that school (I left my grammas house n moved in with my mom) I made some friends but I still heard the words […]
I was able to hang out with a friend, more like sister, that I haven’t seen in what seems like forever. In reality, it was a few months but to us, it felt like lifetimes. We used to see each other every day. She is my sorority sister and we were colleagues. She left the job that we shared because of mistreatment so we didn’t get to see each other every day. Well, we both knew how difficult the job is so we would take turns doing something every week for each other. It helped keep our sanity and our depression in check. Well, she […]
I have had depression for the last year and a half. But about 6 months ago I started wanting to end it all. I even broke up with my boyfriend so he wouldn’t feel the pain when I left. I want to kill myself, but at the same time I don’t. Please help me. Does anybody else feel the same
HI. I’ve just found this site. I know if my boyfriend or friends or housemates knew I was here they would be devastated. But I am struggling.
I first attempted suicide and began a relationship with self-harm aged 15. I’m now 30. I have a standard abuse history. I most definitely am not original. My parents emotionally and physically abused me. My friend raped me at a party when I was 16. My boyfriend died when I was 17. My friend’s father used me as a sex pet when I was living with her family when I was 17. My boyfriend beat me when I was […]
Hi all
I’ve been debiliated by a very strong fear of people for years that got worse and worse and worse, this severe social phobia then caused depression, then panic attacks and agoraphobia. I’m now 24 and have nothing at all going for me. I can’t see any way out of my situation- yes depression plays a part in this, but my social phobia leaves me pretty much a selective mute who has been largely housebound for 5 years. I couldn’t finish education, I couldn’t work, I now have literally nothing on my CV, and even if my social phobia magically went away and I didn’t […]
ive been madly inlove with this boy for over a year now, we dated for 9 months, before i ruined everything. my parents were fighting so bad and it just seemed that since i thought they hated me, i thought everyone else did to, including my boyfriend at the time. it was summer, i would wear jumpers constantly. n one knew about my self harming, no one knew about the drug use. i hid it so well over a period of 9 months. my problems got […]
Right now, I am scrolled away in my spare bedroom upstairs.  It can get claustrophobic up here as it is a converted attic with only a small skylight for a window.  I have been up here for two days avoiding my boyfriend…. avoiding the world, really.
I am a 50 year old female with too much loss in my life and have reached a point where I just don’t want to go on. Â I am sure I don’t have the worst story out there, but for me, its been far too taxing.
In 2003, I buried my only daughter (9 years old) from a tragic car accident. Â She […]
I want love but I don’t know how to obtain it. I had a boyfriend for 2 years…I just feel so lost now. It’s been long enough to move on…he’s moved on. I just don’t know how to anymore.
Yeah, I want to end my life as well. My reasons are  arm long.  I was rape at eighteen years on the day of my eighteen birthday party by my boyfriend at the time. The same boyfriend would push me against the wall, and grab my wrist with a scary look on his face. ( I left him but he help with my own emo feelings. ) The next year was my senior year. I lost MOST of my friends because one of something STUPID. I learn I had most fake friends then real friends. No one would believe me about the rape. , but […]
A year ago I wanted to kill myself and I told myself I had to give it a year to see if that feeling remained. The time is up and it’s still what I want, I have a plan in place to make sure my cat is taken care of and that police/paramedics are who find the body. It’s a really good plan. But it is so frustrating to not be able to find any kind of solid information or resources on how to do get it done correctly. The things I found via Google seem so out of reach because they involve things I […]