So i have managed to loose my boyfriend my two bestfriends and half my family all in one week,life is just fucking amazing. Fuck everything,fuck life. what even is the point anymore iv lost everyone. i guess its time for me to go now.
Tag:
boyfriend
so ever since i was young i always remember my dad hitting my mom for… well? i guess cheating and i always saw him hit her, i would hear her screaming and crying then after that he would yell at me and my sister for dumb shit. he used to hit us badly with a thick leather belt that would leave marks on our legs and back sometimes buries.i was always scared to call the cops and the fear of my siblings being taken awake and separated into different foster families. it kept going for many years. i always loved my mom and felt sorry […]
So, I need help. I don’t know why I live anymore. My dad has been abusing me and bullying me since forever. Whenever I get picked up from him on weekends he just abuses me and calls me a failure. And compares me to everyone else as if I am not good. Now my best friend that I thought we shared everything in common with supposably thinks I’m lying because he boyfriend lied to her about something and of course girls choose their boyfriends. And the thing is she told me to change. And now she ended the friendship with me. By growing up I […]
It been a long time since I been to this site and posted anything. I feel a lot better now that i left home and have an amazing long distance boy friend . However like the rest of life i still find the problems to keep me up at night.Like the feeling of still being unable to help any one, as i leave home and travel 4 hours up north with no way to get back till the summer i find my brother falling deeper into the darkness, he never had any friends nor a stable life , however he never been a street rat […]
I think I want to try and kill myself again, but I have a boyfriend and I don’t want to hurt him by leaving, I think he would kill himself as well if I did. I don’t think I can talk to him about it either, he tends to turn my issues when brought up to him being a bad boyfriend who can’t keep me happy. I can’t really talk to him about things and it irritates me that I can’t, because I know all it’ll do is push me closer to an edge I wish not to look over.
But I have to suffer. I got ditched. She’s just a ***** cause she don’t want to understand. Unanswered emails, phone calls and texts. Ignore me, that’s a good way to heal a man.
I bet you’re living the good life now
Probably got back with your old boyfriend who treated you like crap
But I was the bad one
You couldn’t understand me
I hope you’re happy
I’m no longer a burden
Only on myself.
I just realized I never really introduced myself. I am ‘bones. A teenage girl who was born with a sense of duty. The model child. People thought I was wierd. Mature for my age. People still think that. As far as a reason for being depressed, it is mostly a control issue. My family expects and demands perfection, and controlling me is like an insurance to them. “If she doesn’t have room to mess up, she won’t. But if she still does, lets completely restrict her!” As a way of claiming something for myself, I became addicted to not eating and to over-exercising. After the […]
So, I have just confessed to my boyfriend of almost 5 months that I have come to the conclusion that I’m gay. It was possibly one of the most awful things I have had to do. He cried. He loves me. I love him. But I cannot make myself feel sexually attracted to him. I have always thought that I am probably gay but I since I had only dated one guy before him I thought maybe I just wasn’t attracted to that guy in particular. I was going through the same motions as I was in the previous relationship. Except this time I was […]
Me and my boyfriend went to a party a while back where I drank for the first time and I liked it. While I was drunk something snapped in place and I felt better… I’ve been drinking a lot since then and my boyfriend made me promise to stop… but I can’t. And I have been trying to since I promised… should I tell him I still am drinking?
All my life people always tell me that I am so strong. But I’m not. I’m not strong at all. I’ve just been through a lot of things and I’m still here. Just because I’m a survivor doesn’t mean I’m strong. People always tell me that I can handle anything, that I’m “superhuman.” It’s stupid…No one is superhuman. Just because I’ve gone through things and keep on going doesn’t mean I’m strong. It means I don’t look back. I just keep moving forward, but sometimes I question why. Why should I move forward? For what purpose?
Most would say I have a good life. I have […]
So, to make this simple, i fucking hate myself. I am not (and will never be) content with who i am. Nothing is actually wrong with me, i would just thoroughly enjoy killing myself. I am only posting this to relieve myself of hatred, or at least attempt to. I don’t care for sympathy. I do not want help. Nothing will ever stop these thoughts, no matter what anyone tells you. I have more friends in my head than i do in real life, simply because we share the same interests; death. The absolute ONE reason i am still alive is my boyfriend. I don’t […]
It all started on111914 when I fell inlove with my boyfriend he was eveythinng I wanted a swimmer soccer play and a good looking guy he was so sweet and caring. This past friday he had a big swim meet I was so proud of him. After we hung at his house and got icecream we go in a fight and he broke up with me I was a reck. The next night I find my self taking 12 pills and my family yelling and me. The next morming I think I will never kiss him or hear his voice or anything again. So now […]
I am 21 y.o girl in engineering unversity. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know when this is all started. I want to talk about this to someone but I trust nobody. I think they won’t take my story seriously.
I always feeling lonely. I used to have bestfriend in elementary school, but she bad-talking me behind my back. I hate her. I tried to make a new bestfriend, but I didn’t find anyone who can understand me. I started my junior high school life. I tried again to make a new bestfriend. I did find one and last for 3 years, until before […]
Still struggling. All this time.
I managed to get my life together. I thought I would be happier with a job. With animals. With a boyfriend. It just goes to show you ignoring depression doesn’t work. Now I have more responsibilities.and still want the same. Death. I have been thinking about it more and more. A familiar face. My boyfriend’s apology. And I’m sucked in. UNleash these thoughts and then it is endless for hours and hours, just thinking and researching and wondering. I talk myself out of it at the end of the day. I lose hours and hours to it then. A sick fascination with […]
Where to begin.. I suppose I should begin with my introduction to antidepressants. I’ve gone through several different brands and have yet to be impressed. I’ve always felt the need to avoid medication at all costs, as taking meds would be an admission of emotional instability; Once I get on them, I’m officially crazy. But, I began to sink lower than I ever had before in my previous bouts, and I became fearful enough of my own thoughts that I decided medication was my only option. Scary thing, antidepressants.. All those side effects. The dependency….
I’ve been seeing a girl […]
So my friends boyfriend is telling me that I’m fucking up their relationship. I don’t know how and he won’t tell me how. I don’t want him to break up with her and he’s making it seem like he’s going to because of me.. Should I just stop talking to her so I don’t cause problems..?
To be completely honest, the thought of taking my own life is terrifying. I’ve thought of it a lot of times, but I can’t seem to find any other way out. I’m only 20 years old, for many life is just beginning, but for me it feels like there is nothing left ahead. I can’t continue in school, I can’t afford it even with scholarships and financial aid. I have other options but they all end in debt. My life at home is bad, my parents argue all the time. They never really listen to what I have to say. I get yelled at for […]
I haven’t slept properly in days, I keep throwing up everything I eat, I’m having panic attacks. I live with my boyfriend and he’s sitting in the lounge laughing with his friend, he doesn’t know if he wants to be with me or not just making it worse. I have no-one to talk too nowhere to go all I keep imagining is how to kill myself. I’ve taken drugs they dont work. I just want to die. All I want is not to feel so empty. I just need someone.
21 years old.
A bowler
I failed out of college and my parents do not know. As of right now they could care less for me because I have recently told them I was gay and had a boyfriend who makes me very happy. But I failed. I tried getting back into college but it’s a hopeless cause. It was a snowball effect that started one day when I rode my bike home from campus last April and I got hit by a car. I missed two weeks of school and this semester my knee was in constant pain even after having surgery. I’m tired of […]
I don’t think I’ve ever done this before. I can say right now this is going to be a really long post because I’m pouring myself and my twisted emotions into this. I don’t expect anyone to read this fully. Or even at all. I’m not writing this expecting I’ll get help on here. I’m doing it for myself because maybe if I put my thoughts in words it will help me in getting through this confusion, even though I detest writing.
I am a 20 year old female. Right now I’m living in the city away from home. Right now I don’t have a job […]