I guess a good place to start would be the beginning but I don’t really know where that is. I guess as a kid I always struggled fitting in, I wasn’t the same as everyone else and that was noticeable from a youngish age, I was always bullied in school for being different and was always being physically abused by the other kids. No one ever believed me when I’d tell them what was happening and thought it was all my fault for being so different and started punishing myself for it. At the age of 10 I started cutting and didn’t know that it […]
Tag:
Break
My boyfriend broke up with me a couple weeks ago, and I feel like crap.
Everyday I see him around, he’s flirting with another girl.  It hurts so much
to know he has already moved on and I still haven’t. I feel like my heart
has been ripped in half. Everyone keeps telling me to move on, that he’s not
worth it. But every piece of advice they give me I start missing him even more.
I stopped eating like I used to. I eat at least one meal a day sometimes I don’t
eat at all. I can’t […]
Sometimes, i just need somebody to talk to. Nobody is really there for me. I think it’s because when i get bullied, they dont want to be my friend or stick up for me, so they dont get bullied. I have to go through it everyday. Walking to school, in school, at lunch, walking home. and on the internet. I dont know why people dont like me. I guess its just something wrong with me. I dont know. I dont really have any reason of living. I constantly think of suicide. I have been since the sixth grade. Im in 9th grade now. I just […]
I’ve wanted to die not long after I’d been born. The first time I tried to kill myself was when I was four years old. And for the people who have told me that my brain wasn’t fully developed yet, its impossible, i wasn’t capable of feeling suicidal, bullshit. I remember it. I wanted to die and I was perfectly capable of feeling hopeless. Â The next seven times I tried to kill myself was when I was ten years old and living in hell. I remember I brought a large steak knife up to my room and just held it up to my neck till […]
Well, as you see: I’m back. In my last post I wrote that I had to take a break and I did. After that break of more than 2 weeks, I’m back again. But I have to say that I may not be very active at SP, because I’m feeling really worse. The last two weeks were kinda horrible. There happened too much to explain, it would be boring if I would tell it all (actually, this is a kind of excuse, because I can’t remember it ^^). My life nowadays is really though, I’m feeling like a huge mistake, worthless piece of trash. Feeling […]
It’s funny how sometimes the most random thing could make you happy.we were conducting a field exercise when during the middle of our break the sun started to show up. my buddies started singing “here come the sun” by the beatles and it was one of the most calming and serene moment i’ve ever experienced, especially since for the last two days it was raining the whole time. we all basked in the warmth and knew that everything was going to be all right.
I’m going to take a break. So I won’t be on this site for a while. I won’t post anything or comment. I don’t know for how long. Maybe 2 days, maybe 2 weeks, maybe 2 months. I just don’t know. I am coming back, I guess, don’t know what’s going to happen in the next days… Love you all guys!! <3 Just need a break, although I find a lot of strength and understoodment at this site.
Please, everybody on this site, keep fighting, stay strong and believe in yourself!! Love you <3!
Pain overriding any rational thoughts
only feeling what I want most not too
Churning in my stomach, and burning in my chest
How did this happen, I ask
Only to be reminded that there is no explanation
No concrete answer to the question I’m seeking
I just have to accept what is.
Accepting a reality of isolation, loneliness and solitude
Feeling imprisoned by my own being
Trapped in a world I can’t escape
Following me wherever I go.
My mind plagues my every thought
The inner bully condemning every part of me
Ruthless, harsh and callous
Never stopping with its relentless bashing.
Only sleep gives […]
I have grown closer to my mom but she broke that bond yesterday when you yelled at me about my grades. I have a step-dad and I hate him, I know it is a strong word but he has made this family worse than it already is. My brother always puts me down and he always gets the highest preaise cause he is smarter and he get good grades, he is in 4th grade. This family means nothing to me anymore and the only person I really love is my grandma cause she loves me and she cares about me and she doesnt bring me […]
If you’re reading this you’re probably in some type of pain… You may be having a bad day, you may have self harmed, you may have skipped a meal or thrown one up, you may have made some horrible mistakes today, but guess what?? Â You’re still alive & I’m so proud of you for that. I guarantee suicide went through your head at least once today but you had the strength to overcome the urge… that’s amazing. You’re amazing. If no one can be proud of you for that, think of me. A complete stranger who couldn’t be happier that you’re alive. We all make […]
Who can point a finger at what’s not understood, when you can’t explain why you don’t know a thing
He’s always got his headphones in and he talks to no one, he has a frown on his face and dresses in dark shadesÂ
He sits by himself, alone all the time, when he tries to talk, you all look with judging eyes, but he’s not dumb, he ain’t blind
And maybe he goes home and thinks suicide
Who can point a finger at what’s not understood, when you can’t explain why you don’t know a thing
She’s always been a slut, always been so fun, but she’s trying […]
right now as i write this im crying tears, and i dont know why. I want to tell my mom that i cut and that i am slowly falling apart, but if i do how will i be the strong perfect big sister and daughter that everyone thinks i am? I love my sisters with all of my heart, but.im going to break soon, and i dont want them to see it. I also dont want to call someone or some organization, because i know that i will probabaly just get put on hold. But i guess thats life? That brings me to a new […]
I don’t understand the person i have become anymore. I used to be so nice and so full of nothing but happiness. Now i just cry myself to sleep. Maybe it’s because my father died this September of a tragic accident. But i don’t think that’s it completely. I feel so pushed away i have 2 sisters and they’re so perfect they all always have straight A’s…and then there is me… with F’s and D’s. I have so much anger and hurt on the inside i just want to scream HELP ME. but of course no one is there… I’m trying so hard not to break. I […]
I know I’m only 14, but the thing is that all this stress and anger I have is too much, and I can’t cope with it. I’m only on the first year of my GCSEs, and I still have so much more to go through, but the thing is…
…It’s not going to get easier than this.
When people ask me about my future, I smile and say I’ll go to university, get a home and start a family. But really, I can’t see myself having a future. I’m trying to tell people that I will have a future, when I’m not even planning to have one. […]
I just wanted to take a break from reading and writing and say thank you to everyone on this website because without you I’d be six feet under by now, but you guys have given me hope. So, Thank you all.
I found out that my ex and his “current” girlfriend broke up last night. my ex told me that he was going to do anything and everything to get her back. I thought to myself.. this could be my chance to get him back.. to make him mine again.. for us to have another chance to be together and be happy. Then i realized how much he cares about her. that he wants to be with her. (she broke up with him for “being too clingy, and not treating her good”) (They also share their 4th block class, which is how they met in the […]
This past month ive had a relapse of depression. I was depressed as a kid (age 7-10) and now I’m depressed again (age 15). The reason for my relapse is frustration and stress at school with grades and such. It has escalated so quickly. I think of suicide most of the time. Today at school when i was walking in the hall i saw a sign out of the corner of my eye and one of the words read “Suicide” and did a double take and the word was gone. I guess i hallucinated. Anyway, i was never diagnosed with depression and i want to […]
For as long as I remember, the darkness has been a comfort and a haven to me, my only one really, when I was little I never crawled in my Mums bed. I never had a nightmare when I slept in the dark. It’s tranquil and still, I knows some people are afraid of the dark and I know there are reasons for that.
I think the dark holds no terror for me because I always carry a little of the shadow with me, granted sometimes it’s a real ***** to manage and sometimes I break down but the dark is always there in the […]
Kinda new to this, figured i need to share my story with someone, anybody.
by ad123
written by ad123
Ive Dealt with depression ever since middle school, and yes i believe it has gotten progressively worse throughout the years. I was never really the popular person or noticed even when i was at school or at home, and many family issues, i just felt like i was always just around to fill in a needless gap. Ive gotten good at acting like i was fine whether it be to what friends i do have as well as my family, but lately ive just been breaking down and i feel like all im doing is heading toward a downward spiral. My suicidal demon has always […]
i love my boyfriend but…. he recently almost killed himself. if it werent for me calling the police he’d be dead. but now he’s mad and im sick of all this shit. i mean i love him but i cant handle this anymore. but if i break up with him he’ll kill himself. plus i know my other friend c. will ask me out and i like him. nowhere near as much as my current bf but i do like him and couldnt say no. and then my current bf would try to beat up c. (and hurt himself in the process because he’s not […]