I’m not optimistic about the future. I think my life is already done. I know, or I think so, that I have skills and abilities. If I wanted to, I could do a lot of things, I could be anything: a genius, a hero, a loved one. Sometimes I feel like I were God, with all the possibilities and a whole life in front of me. And sometimes, I feel like a turtle: small, useless in most of the cases and always quiet and hiding. I know I’m not doing any of what I could do, just because I’m too stupid for doing it and, sincerely, too lazy. A […]
I’m fine again. A few weeks ago I was about to kill myself but right now I want to jump from a bridge just for fun and feel the adrenalin, I know I’m crazy but this is my high and as long it gets, as hard the down will be.
I hate this thing on my life that I can’t never be happy for a while, if I get some hapiness then something bad happens and it’s taken away from me. Right now I have a crush on this beautiful girl (I’m bisexual) so all I want is speak to her and spend time around but […]
Dont know what this day will take me ,Dont know if ill see that sunlight with the newyork lights for another day. After midnight everything is up to your dreams but what if the dream visions me not being able to sleep nor see. Maybe ill sit by the bridge waiting for my world to ended or maybe ill think of ending it standin on the edge prepare to die ..
I’m so tired of it all. My mother is putting me under an enormous amount of pressure to get all of this school work done by the end of may, but I know I cannot do it. Even if I stopped talking to internet friends and reading, I would still not get it done in time. With one of my classes, which conveniently, is the hardest one for me, I can do it through the summer. But my mother came into my room last night screaming her head off about me finishing it and that I would not do it over the summer. She is […]
I had an appointment to see my  psychiatrist and my mum was with me, im 15 and my psychiatrist asked my mum about our family history and after some stuff they talked, i don’t know i wasn’t concerntrating but i heard my name and i started to listen, im sitting beside my mum. and my mum said when i was 5 years old i caused her so much stress she took me to a bridge and she was going to throw me off the bridge and kill me because i cause her alot of stress and she couldn’t handle me…. but my dad saw what was […]
I’m a writer, not officialy since i’m only sixteen, but i consider my self that way. I’m a writer and that is the only only reason that can explain how i confused all my doctors and counselors.
Writing is the only thing that make feel alive for a while, and it does it because i’m creating a whole new storie, sometimes stories of what i wish it was or the truth with some make up and fantasies. I can tell stories since i have memory, i’m a bad lier with little things but my complete life is my best and bigger lie, so much that sometimes […]
I’m Angry today I just want to scream but I’m bottling everything inside like I always do. It’s my mom I can only hope she never feels the way she makes me feel so invalid, and useless, fat, ugly, and horrible just rotten and hopeless and a failure. I keep thinking about trying to kill myself again Bur doing it right this time like jumping off a bridge or hanging myself. I get angrier with myself everyday I look in the mirror and I just want to tear it down and never see my reflection again. I hate myself right now […]
I think there must be many dreamers doing the same in these moments. Looking for a sense of a futile existence, many without a penny in his pocket still naively believe that will be realized.Of course it’s possible! We will not give up, do not you add to the list of losers who just resigned themselves to see through each day without surprise, without a smile, without a word.
No doubt life is not worth it without a reason to exist. Exist without a trace bitter, sweet, sad or happy as a fingerprint, there is not just what we do many: the losers once we […]