Hi, I’m 12 years old and in the 7th grade. I have never tried to commit suicide but I have considered it. I just want it all to end sometimes, but sometimes I look around and think, “Why would I want to die? There’s so much to live for.” I started cutting about two months ago, but got addicted fast. I didn’t realize it at first. I thought I was in control and I wasn’t. Finally I thought, “This is stupid. I’m done with this.” I managed to not cut for all of 24 hours, then I couldn’t stop myself anymore and cut again. I […]
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Butterflies
butterflies
are drawn up and down my arms.
butterflies
in black ink around my arms.
butterflies
in purple ink
resting on my wrists.
if i kill those butterflies i kill myself.
the butterfly project.
seven rules
that i must follow.
seven rules
that i will follow.
because i know that i have to stop
and i want to stop.
i’m just having some issues stopping
but i will
eventually.
i will stop until the butterflies fade
at least.
and then i can revert to cutting
just a little.
in the meantime:
no more cutting
no more pain
no more red.
” What’s the use of a title”
They don’t make it
the beautiful die in flame-
suicide pills, rat poison, rope what-
ever…
they rip their arms off,
throw themselves out of windows,
they pull their eyes out of the sockets,
reject love
reject hate
reject, reject.
they don’t make it
the beautiful can’t endure,
they are butterflies
they are doves
they are sparrows,
they don’t make it.
one tall shot of flame
while the old men play checkers in the park
one flame, one good flame
while the old men play checkers in the park
in the sun.
the beautiful are found in the edge of a room
Tonight as we sleep,
When we aren’t making a peep.
Let’s dream of all the little broken things,
Pretend we are butterflies with solid wings.
Wish for things to become right,
As we sleep in the night.
While most sleep without a sound,
I toss and turn ’round.
My mind is filled with a nightmare,
Though no one really seems to care
Please kill me I start to yell,
I know I am going straight to hell.
The man with horns sounds the alarm,
Here comes everyone that’s ever done harm.
I then wake up without a breath of air,
But then again no one will care.
I have been cutting since my 7th grade year. I don’t really know why I started  or what caused me to feel cutting was a good way out. All I know is that I used cutting as an escape for my pain which then turned to an addicting habit. A girl I knew, Raiyanne used to put small razor blades in her compact mirror and cut whenever she needed a release at school. I don’t know why I decided to cut but that became my way of doing it. My wrists are scarred up so bad from cutting that I’m not even sure how I […]
“Butterflies can’t see their wings. They can’t see how truly beautiful they are, but everyone else can. People are like that as well.â€
On TV or in books the protagonist is always described as “ordinary girl”, someone that just looks like no one special but turns out to be very special to just the right boy… People always want to stand out, be that little bit extra pretty, extra smart and just special. I just realised from the very beginning that I had no shot at being special in a good, charming way and extra pretty never kicked in either. I lost the “cute” when I turned about 12 and it just never came back. Instead I just grew tall, and big and insecure. I faked confidence well […]
Came like a hurricane. Gone like the wind. This mistake will fly. not to be seen again.
written by I.cant.breathe!
Well bye my SP friends, I am jumping and flying off of a tower by my home. this time I will succeed and if I don`t I will once again return. I’ll be alive for until tomorrow. but until then I will draw butterflies on my body and hope to fly like them.
{Caterpillar~Cocoon~Butterfly}
I failed.
I tried the butterfly project…
And it helped for a day…but I cut again.
Deeply.
I have 2inches of tissues on it cause its bleeding.
I’m a failure.
I deserve to die.
The Butterfly Project, for everyone who self-harm or who cares about self-harmers <3
by Engeltje
written by Engeltje
A while ago I read something about The Butterfly Project. It’s a project to help self-harmers to stop with self-harm. I wanted to share this with the people here, so I decided to make a post with the rules and how to. I am also a cutter for exactly one year now. I really want to join this project one day, but I feel I’m not ready for it yet.
The Butterfly Project
The Rules:
1. When you feel like you want to cut, take a marker, pen, or sharpies and draw a butterfly on the place you want to cut.
2. Name the butterfly after […]
My name is Kyla. I am 15 years old. I think I will start this with a timeline.
June 11, 1997- Born
I was born in Calgary, Alberta. That’s in Canada for those of you who don’t know.
The first two years of my life were spent in my grandfathers house, located in a quiet and respectable community, as my parents were poor and couldn’t support themselves.
I was raised in a neighborhood that was known for its criminals. We lived in a run down townhouse. Â Our neighbors were drug addicts and whores. We even lived next to a crackhouse.
Police sirens were always wailing in the background, and it […]
Damaged Butterflies
Butterflies rise from the lake, born of it through white wings.
The night comes at them like a brigand, but unknowingly they float through the air towards the luminescent moon.
To float far away from home, shall draw blood from their wings
rippling the water; changing what once was so clear to a dark red.
The butterflies are struck by the night and blinded by their own blood, falling deep into the red, to be revived forever more.
Lucky him he’s moved onto a new girl i should be happy, but its only to ironic. Tanners new girlfriend is Ryanne, ive been talking to her ex dylan. She said i’d look cute with him but even though i like him i dont wanna date him, one because i wanted to give them both time to heal, and because of the fact i dont wanna date anyone cause im still not over tanner, i dont wanna use anyone as a rebound.
It’s not fair i hate all of them all this fucked up shit, i wonder if tanner knows those more recent scars on my […]
I sat in the cafeteria at school this morning waiting for school to start, i was at a table all to myself and i kept looking at my phone, no one was texting me but i wanted to look like i had some friends you know..
After about 20 minutes a boy looks over at me his table is overflowing with his friends and asks “are you lonely? i think your lonely”
I laughed and said “no they’ll be here soon, their bus is just running a bit late”
I turned around and whispered ” they’ll never be here.. cause i dont have any..”
After me and Tanner broke […]
I just cut again the other day. It was 2 on my my palm. It`s funny because i told my friends Kiana and Reina, and they became angry and slapped my arm. They hadn`t cut yet since the butterflies and i did so they were mad at me. The reason i say it`s funny is because while they were mad at me the only thing i could do was laugh and tell them that i learned something new. When they asked what i giggled softly and tolf them that scissors suck……… and that`s all i could think about. I don`t even remember what i had […]
Let your butterfly fly free. Don’t kill it. Let it live. Butterflys cant fly with a damaged wing. 🙂 <3
No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
If you were to ask me would I want to live If I knew I would fulfill my dream do you know what I would say?I quess you can quess,NO!!!
SP sucks without my SP buddy Distantroad!So It’s almost been a year since I’ve been on this site.I made a really qood friend on here.That person Is Teenqirl18.(Teenqirl I’m sorry for puttinq our stuff out there).We started talkinq In March.We […]
I’m frickin’ tired. Ready to pass out. :/
I’ve been off pills for a while, so this feels bad. Like my butterflies died.
Sometimes I disappoint myself…
THE RULES:
1. when you feel like you want to cut, take a marker or pen and draw a butterfly on wherever the self-harm occurs.
2. name the butterfly after a loved one, or someone that really wants you to get better.
3. NO scrubbing the butterfly off.
4. if you cut before the butterfly is gone, it dies. if you don’t cut, it lives.
5. if you have more than one, cutting kills them all.
6. another person may draw them on you. these butterflies are extra special. take good care of them.
7. even if you don’t cut, feel free to draw a […]
So , Its for me to believe that everyones sorty is differnt. This one..Well its beyond that.
I dont know how to explain my thought really, But im going to try to put you in my shoes, My state of mind.
*Big breath* Alright. . So sometimes that thing called Depression hits me, Makes me want to go home and cry, yell at everyone about my problems and just throw my hands around hoping that they will hit something to take away this pain.. This pain of loss. The pain of never being loved. Always getting walked out on, or forgotten. Im the type of […]
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