What would I say? What would they want to hear? What would they want to know? These are a few of the questions that I have about what will happen after I’m gone. Other than that there really isn’t any telling what will happen to whom and how. There are of course the general predictions that we make about those that we know both in our families and out and about what our children will be like when they have fully grown, but aside from all of that, I really don’t care to find out.
In all honesty, I am not too eager to find […]
Tag:
children
The worst feeling you can have is knowing you can’t leave this world because you have children. I couldn’t leave them here to fend for themselves . I’ll have to live this life out. And I’m tired.
I am at this very moment, suicidal. I have no real support and have found myself here, with all of you. My husband, whom I love more than almost anything has just said to me that he has met someone online while out of town for work, and that he doesn’t want me anymore. This isn’t the first time he’s said he doesn’t want me anymore. Over the last six years, he has put me down, left me, hurt me and destroyed my being. I can honestly tell you in this moment that if I didn’t have children, I wouldn’t be here writing, I’d be […]
My entire life I waited for something some blessing some good luck never got it. I was the girl who went to prom alone you know the nerd girl no one wanted. I have dated but all ended badly. I have a set of twins by a man who raped me. I was forced to keep them looking back I regret that as well. The father does nothing so here it is I am alone raising kids I never wanted. My other relationship ended just as bad the twins father said the man I was about to marry raped the children. So I have been […]
My brokenness has cost me the man who matters most and has isolated me from my children. There is no way to rebuild. There is too much work and I don’t have the strength. I am so scared. I am a coward. A trashy piece of worthless wasted air.
I don’t trust anyone, especially myself. I hid razor blades throughout the house. Figured that was a smart thing to do. ha ha ha
What the fuck was the point of this existence?
From the begining of my life I was different ..growing in a family of 6 children being in the middle always hard….I am a day dreamer dreaming of living my life to the extreme but all my dreams were broken one by one by society ,my family and finally my husband…I must live to obey and nothing more,if I think it’s always the wrong way of thinking as they love to call it…I feel like a slave..I’m not exaggerating …I have to dress the way he wants ,talk to whom he like…I’m not allowed to have male friends…even me posting here is forbidden …I’m abused […]
My problems are so small. I could hear people complain about One Direction breaking up, but no sympathy for innocent children benign killed over in the Middle East. Plus, it looks like a royal vagina just couldn’t keep itself shut again. The world sure could use another child! I fucking hate this planet.
I best introduce myself first, I’ve been bouncing on and off with depression for quite some time now and have now reached the age of 34. As a teenager my mates took drugs and i eventually caved in at 14 and started what i thought was a softer drug and began smoking cannabis which then led me onto higher things like magic mushrooms etc. After being led down a life of crime i broke away and became leading an almost normal life over the age of twenty, marijuana being my main fault line. It wasn’t until a few years ago i started recognising the inner […]
I can relate with so many of you. I grew up in a family where my father was an alcoholic and incredibly abusive. My ever step or sniffle was a possible cause for a beating if he had too much to drink. As I got older I internalized all the abuse. I attempted suicide will pills but it never worked. I used to pray every night that God would take me away. God obviously had other plans. I had a horrific case of anorexia as I tried to control my life. Not eating didn’t help…I was tiny and people treat tiny people like china, but […]
I had a relatively good upbringing. Compared to what some other people on this site have had to go through, I have had an easy life. I have a loving wife and loving children. My children are what keeps me here.
But I hate that I exist. I have never hated anyone enough to murder them. Except for myself. I have constant fantasies of different ways to destroy my body. Those fantasies bring me peace.
I was halfway to a big city last night where I was going to jump from the top of a tall parking garage. A sign over the freeway told me that there […]
Is it wrong to resent the people who told the law enforcement and children services that I was lying about all the things my mothers boyfriend did to me… Even if they’re family?… I know it’s been yrs since it’s happened but with all my flashbacks I’m still trying to figure things out.. I’m so confused about everything.. I’ve been trying to make since of everything all day and I’m only spinning in circles. Sorry for ranting on…
This is my first post, i have been reading some other stories & feel very much connected to the feelings expressed…. Want to share my story…. I have seriously contemplated ending my life on many occassions… But i am also a procrastinator :)), so i am still here….
I have been poisoned… By mercury: in my teeth, from fillings…. From vaccinations…. In the womb, from my mother’s tooth fillings…. From eating fish… From people burning coal and polluting the air and water….
Mercury is the most powerful neurotoxin on earth… Mercury amalgam fillings were used in the nazi […]
I don’t want to exist. please help me. I don’t want to be here anymore, i have two kids and a husband. i know it sounds terrible but before i met my husband i was dead set on ending everything. I saw love in him and hope and a future. My children are everything to me but I’m not good enough for any of them. I cant even get out of bed half the time. My pain runs so deep and i don’t think anything will make it stop.
Since October 2012 I have been living in a nightmare. I was engaged, with 2 children living in a nice house with a good job. Then I made a mistake and I lost it all. I lost the job and then family within the space of 7 days.
I had regular access to my kids until Christmas 2012 when after an argument my ex decided I shouldn’t see my kids. I missed my daughters 1st Christmas, so on the 31st I decided to kill myself. I drove to the cemetery near where I grew up and I took 90 Amitriptyline hydrochloride with a bottle of vodka. I waited […]
Nearly fifty years ago a young woman screamed and pushed and laboured for nearly fifty hours and finally squeezed out a dead baby girl. The doctors in attendance worked on the tiny body and forced some “life” into it. The baby girl has never forgiven them for compelling her participation in a life that has never fit. Although her parents did everything they could, she always felt like something wasn’t right. She had acquaintances, even a few mates, but not one friend – ever. She never understood the crowd and it never accepted her. Even when she gravitated to the other misfits as a young […]
Honestly I thought I would be dead by now, and not having to deal with everything I am having to deal with now. I wish I was dead. I feel like a burden to my sister who has been trying to take care of me. I used to live with my boyfriend but he wasn’t sure if he could handle it anymore. I still can’t forgive a lot of the hurtful things he has said. Sometimes I wonder if I would be better off without him in my life. Even now, most of my things are in his possession so I can’t really end things. […]
Hi. I’m a 38-year-old female. I’ve been reading on this site for many months. But I’ve never posted. Today I felt like I should share my story. The first time I thought about suicide was when I was 10. I can remember locking myself in my bedroom closet for two months surrounding myself with pillows crackers and fantasizing about who would be at my funeral and whether anyone would care, I scratched at my wrists. That was the only self harm I can ever recall. That was the beginning of what I consider the bad gene. Fast forward to now present day and what I […]
Its been a year now since my wife and I seperated. We have two beautiful children whom I adore very much. I moved here almost 10 years ago from another state after a string of failed relationships. I met my wife and married her almost eight years ago. It was great in the beginning, but first come children and then financial worries and somewhere along the way we began to grow apart. She left me for another man and when that didnt pan out she still felt she was better off without me. Now I have to work constantly to pay my bills and give […]
This is the first time I have wrote on one of these so not sure what to expect. I’m looking for maybe an answer or someone to agree with me, anything really.
So I’ve been with my fiancé for ten years and we have three amazing children together, we have had so much bad luck together and lots of ups and downs. I have made a fair few decisions that have not helped us in our relationship two just recently, I got a number off a girl and arranged to meet but didn’t because I realised it was wrong, I know that’s not the […]
My name is Caleb William Phillips. And yesterday May 22nd 2014, was my daughters 5th birthday. Her mother and I are separated permanently and she has remarried (common law) and lives with another man with his own children. I have a 3 year old daughter named Olivia Grace Phillips as well by the same mother. And these are my only two children and my only two reasons for living. As of about a year and a half ago things got out of hand when I put pain pills before my family. Chelsea left and took the girls as she should have. Several months later I […]