So today I was actually feeling pretty good, then my dad came into my room and started calmly talking to me, then out of nowhere he started yelling at me because my clothes are on my couch and not in the closet that is in another room, and I’ve been putting my clothes here so that I wouldn’t have to go into another room every time I want to get dressed for a year now. So then my mom came into the room and my dad started yelling at her because she didn’t make sure that my clothes would be in the closet and she […]
Tag:
Clothes
your perfume on the bedclothes
your words are in my head
you spoke and all of my blood froze
if only it was solid now.
your clothes speak softly to me
the voices in my head
all is well and you are free
if only i was solid now.
your voice rings hollow, true
and echoes in my head
i see the pain that i’ve caused you
and i don’t feel so solid now.
the future hangs uncertain, lost
and i know what’s right in my head
i must give back, whatever the cost
it’s the only thing that’s solid now.
A stranger hides behind my face,
Someone which no one sees.
A broken soul,
imprisoned by remorse,
longing to be set free.
A stranger walks on by your home,
unnoticed by your eye,
You think its me, when it’s not,
My faces’ clever lie,
Chained to darkness,
but not by choice,
Punishment befitting my sins,
Regret and bitter judgement,
ever closing in.
It steals my name,
It wears my clothes,
this stranger,
that everyone knows.
My Junior year of high school, i used to perform self harm to myself. I had a lot of boyfriend trouble and my friends had completely stabbed me in the back and I just couldn’t take the humiliation anymore. Cutting became an overwhelming addiction and I couldn’t stop. Eventually my parents caught on to my behavior and one day my father came to me and asked if i wanted to wake up tomorrow and i said no. I was taken to the hospital so that i could immediately talk to psychiatrists about how i was feeling. I figured when i was done I would just […]
When I start cutting again I always wonder why the hell I stopped.
by christina--
written by christina--
It feels so good to cut so deep in your skin that it wont stop bleeding for hours.
I love the feeling afterwards. When the wounds are trying to heal but because youre wearing clothes it keeps on opening again.
I love the way it stings everywhere when I move to remind me what a disgusting piece of trash I am- as if I could forget that.
I love seeing the blood slide down my body.
When I only look at my blade alone I smile. I cant help but smile while I cut myself.
Why would I not smile? This is what I enjoy […]
I have been in a rocky, controlling relationship with a man I have been head over heels in love with for about a year now. He was never very nice, always controlling, very jealous, and extremely verbally abusive… A tall, sexy, tattooed from head to toe punk rocker, I fell in love immediately. we both have had hard lives, and he was from New York in Oregon (where I’m from) because he knocked a girl up in New York who was from Oregon, and he moved to Oregon to be the father. They didn’t work out. Anyway, we started a relationship, had a lot of […]
This is suppose to be over 30 days, but I’ll probably forget about it if I do that, so I’ll do it all now. To be honest, I don’t cut anymore, but I still thought it would be useful to do.
1. How long have you been self harming? Discuss why you started.
On and off for around three years. The first time I started when my brother tried to commit suicide and all the stress from that.
2. What part of your body is most affected by it?
Legs, breasts, back, you know, all the places that are easy to hide the scars
3. What […]
Ever since I was born life has never been easy for me.  My mother suffers from a mental Illness, my father was abusive and my uncles where thieves and drug dealers. I can’t remember back to when I was young, but I still have a few very vivid memories. When I was two one of my brothers and one of my sisters passed away. When I was three my mother and father split up.  My sister and 2 brothers and I got put into foster care only a year later. We moved on to abusive carers who beat us and punished us harshly. I remember being […]
I have had 16 years of anxiety ridden life. The social phobia has gotten the best of me, I have no friends and am not in school. I stopped going last year in October.. After I ran away.
I was living in a dilapidated house. The ceilings leaked, the water pipes didn’t work, there was no heat. It had been less than a month that we lived there and we loved there due to transitions of homes. We were waiting for things to go through with the house we would be renting. Anyways, I was dealing with that and then school. I have no friends, […]
Okay, well this is my story..
I’m quite young and I’m broken. I’m depressed and suicidal, clearly.. and i selfharm. I put on the fakest smile every single day. I’m miserable, I just want to be dead, to be free, to be happy. I have tried to take my own life many times, I don’t really have a massive story. But my depression has taken over me, my self eestem is horrible, I can’t leave the house without crying, I’m horribly fat and aswell so ugly. I hate leaving the house because I usually don’t have the nicest clothes because i’m not rich, my family struggles […]
As you can tell by my new post I didn’t hang myself!! I went and talked to my aunt and she is going to help out. My son and I will be moving into her garage apartment this weekend which is a huge help because she is only going to charge me $200 a month for rent and food! She called her church and tonight I got a huge bag of clothes for Broox!!! Little man is styling in his new batman pjs as we speak.
As I’m writing this Broox is laying beside me sleeping with his little legs thrown over onto mine and I […]
I was happy. I was fine with life. Couldn’t you have let me stay that way? For just a while?
by Anonymous13
written by Anonymous13
Happiness. It was in my reach, merely a week ago. I used to dislike living. I used to complain and moan about things of no significance. I was unhappy, but without a real reason to be. And I knew that. I knew that my unhappiness was uncalled for and most of all: selfish. There were people out there going through real pain, people who had actual reasons to feel this way. So I pulled it together and started focusing on all the positive things in life. My friends, my somewhat dysfunctional family whom I still loved and cared for, my somewhat normal life. I started […]
I can’t complain too much about my life. Both my parents love me, though sometime I find myself thinking it’s because they have to. I have a little sister and an older brother. Things I have to complain about are typical in our now a day system.
I’ll start with my siblings.
My little sister is a princess at heart but a complete wannabe to the darker side of life. She loves shopping for clothes and toys alike. Though fakes being bored. She loves the colors pink and purple and does her best to hide it. We all know how good little kids are at hiding things. […]
Hey all,
I know this forum isn’t the best place for this post, but I just wanted to talk to someone and tell someone how I feel.
It was a pretty busy day for me. I talked a lot to other people ( 2 persons). But when I came home today I felt so down and depressed. I don’t know why, but somehow I lost interest in life. Every second day I feel so depressed for no particular reason. I don’t think I am depressed or suffer from an other brain illness, its just that I put my life in a state where I disconnected absolutely from […]
i know this will sound stupid but i honestly dont know what to do anymore. i am a 14 year old girl who suffers from diabetes, coeliacs disease, under active thyroid, and psoriasis. i hate my life! i think i suffer from depression but i dont know? ive never told anyone about how i feel, and at the moment its like everyday is a task and getting through it is very difficult!
i already feel bad posting this because some people are going through so much worse than me but being 14 with psoriasis is a living hell. when my friends look so nice in all of […]
I know how some people wanna be skinny and thin but I don’t. I’m 15 years old and don’t have an eating disorder i’m just VERY skinny. I hate it I get made fun of a lot and get called chicken legs or twig. People make fun of me and say i’m anorexic. When I go to get clothes I can find anything that fits me. Also lately Ive been lonely my friends ignore me and don’t talk to me for reasons I don’t know. Ive been thinking about cutting and suicide lately. I always think about if I did die no one would miss me or notice. I just want to be loved and be comfortable on how I look.
Random Reminiscing , cos’ I let mom read the instructions..
(just like the bubble gum components being molded by our mouth, exchanging places to nowhere )
My clothes, school books, mags, and other toys for big men were designated to be inherited by my close relatives. I really thought she would be happy when she realizes my breathing identity is about to disappear from this lively planet, instead she scolded me, saying I had to help my brothers raise their family. So I wondered again, Am I really just the one selfish? or does it just runs in the family? Nah, we were programmed both from our […]
I was home schooled till i was 12, and my father left my mom when i was 8 (i used to see him weekends, then holidays, now i rarely see or talk to him). which is what i can only assume caused me to be so fucked up. once i got to highschool, my first semester i got expelled for threatening a kid with a knife for picking on me. which caused me to lose my only close friend.. after switching schools i was a loner for the most part, i had a group of friends i hung out with, but i was that one […]
Today is the day to enroll in that shitty tafe course I mentioned before enrollments have to be done by 3… And it is now 11:51am
Im still in bed thinking about how I’m not going to waste 1600 on something I’m going to fail, besides I don’t ever have that money! I will never have that money with the amount of shifts I get.
I got onE shift this week for 5 hours oh that’s helpful. Not.
Hm I’ve applied for nightclub work but like usuall no ones bothered to contact me, I suppose it’s only been 2 days but hm.
I’m also dying […]
From what ive read here, my life is the best life on earth, but it isnt.
When i was 5 my parents sent to a special school, for smart children. Every year i begged them to get me out of it, but they didnt. I was a smart kid, one of the best in my class, but i never really fit in to it, they all wanted to study, since we were 5, and become doctors, scientists and so, i never did, i always wanted to perform, to dance, but my dad always laughed at me and my mom joined him so my confidence got really […]