im meant to be drinking with a friend tonight and we’re meant to be taking Coke.. As bad as it sounds, I keep thinking of how easy it’ll be for me to od on it considering my heart problem and the alcohol intake. I feel that Overdosing is the only way to stop my pain, I don’t want to leave anyone but I can’t deal with the fact that I feel my heart breaking everyday over things that I couldn’t of avoided. Why should I be punished for loving the wrong human?
Tag:
Coke
i had to abandon my two best friends 4 months ago. we were three and we had that kind of friendship that we couldn’t stay all day without seeing each other. we were brothers.
my friendship had started with them and along with this friendship i started to do cocaine. we all did cocaine. we were three cokeheads. three junkies. but fuck! we were three mothercuking brothers, and that no one can deny.
but when i was with those brothers, i forget about my real ones. my real brothers. my brother, my sister and my parents. i forgot my family. i and i’m sorry for that, for […]
FUCKED FOR CASH
V1-
Cum splattered face
Wash away the taste
Fake a slutty smile
And bend over now
Give yourself up
For a couple bucks
For your next fix
From your fucking pimp
V2-
Caught in a web
Where everyone is dead
But walking, fucking
Making money
Take it in the ass
Oh so bloody
Pitiful waste
Prostitution
Chorus-
How did we
End up here?
Hooked on coke
And fucking queers
Make more money
Giving head
In an alley
Mostly dead
V3-
Did you ask for this?
Heroin cysts
Black eyes from guys
You fucked last night
One too much
Raped and fucked
Left alone
You have no […]
Here is my life story and why i want to kill myself.
when i was born i was dropped on my head by my crackhead mother and then because of it couldnt talk right but could still think the same according to the doctors. In my middle school years people started to make fun of me because of that and felt as if there is nothing else to do.
so luckily somebody introduced me to a little plant called weed and i could never get off of it and after a while of smoking that i got bored and started on the acid and coke. […]
But now it seems like eating disorders and self harm are all over the place. I’m sure I’ve probably been making the most weird and horrified faces at just about everything.
I got handed a knife to cut open a bag and the guy sitting next to me pointed to the bag and said “Don’t cut yourself.†I almost dropped everything I was holding because I thought he was pointing at my left arm.
Later that night a friend walked in and said “Marion, you’re so tiny and skinny.†I smiled because I was super proud of myself until she said “I don’t mean to say you […]
we have to much destruction and crime on the streets
welcome to america the land of the free
but what if that fact is the fact of what has you beat?
you have no where to go and nothing you need
the laws the law is what they always said
but what use is it to you when your already dead?
no sense in living a life that you cant already live
abuse and neglect that is all that can give
moma says she loves you, shes just fucked in the head
no sense running to daddy, cause daddy already left
out the front door […]
I’ve never done this before but I need someone who understands me to talk to. Let me start by describing myself a little bit. So I’m a 25yo woman (kid at heart). I’m told by most I look like I should be a model (I don’t see it). I have an awsome personality very down to earth open minded and supportive to others and have a lot of knowledge about life do to my own exploring. I have no kids but the best dog in the world that I would take a bullet for and a man of 6 years. But ever since I can […]
Alright im 19 years old. You guys on here think you’ve been threw stuff? My Bio dad abannded me when i was born. Another man Adopted me and called me his. Only for me to find out it really wasnt him who was my dad. Brother died of cancer. I pretty much raised him. I have attempted suicide many times and i believe that it has put me in an inbetween of this and the next life. I look around and everything seems darker. The whole world just angier.
When i began expiermenting with drugs i did many things. Ive done anywhere from pot/DMT/Spice/Coke and about […]
My name is will and im 21 years old, born and raised is leicester-England.
I have been signed up to this site for a long time as i found strength from it, so many people have vented their frustration and the Samaritans or people who have been through and recovered from the same type of problems have ansered….in the past few months i have found streanth in this but now i am fucked.
i m sick of the anxiety i cannot be around people let alone make friends i cut myself daily even though i find it pathetic and stupid.
my dad is a misogynist who beat his wife and kids, which made […]
Reached the last straw today. Gonna do some self-immolation on the ex-wife’s lawn in the next few days. I’m going to get so fucked on coke and heroin that I won’t feel it. Just don’t give a shit anymore. So what if it “proves them right.” I’m sick of being homeless and I don’t want to go to jail. I can’t pay her anymore. The bank is dried up. Just going to take my life-long indentured servitude forced upon me by this great country and shove it up the establishment’s ass. They got nothing else to […]
The frigerator full of coke
The shelf full of rum
I go to bed and in my head,
I just know he’s going to come.
For my dear old Dad, has made me sad,
By playing house with me,
And you can bet, I can’t forget,
All the things he’s done to me.
For he’s robbed me of my purity,
And he’s stripped me of my pride,
He took from me my virginity,
And he ruined me inside.
It makes no sense my innocence,
Was forced to take a tragic fall.
I don’t know why but I know that I,
Have become my daddy’s doll.
I’m so confused for I’ve been abused,
And I don’t think he will stop.
It sounds absurd but […]
Today I set a date for checking out. I’ve chosen a method but have to do a bit more research. I’m nervous about it since I’ve tried killing myself a few times before and have bad luck and am spacey. I seem to survive strange things, like getting hit by a truck going 60 mph (I wasn’t in a car, was on the side of the road). This was not a suicide attempt–the guy was on coke and ran the car off the road–but just something that happened. I’ve also survived a savage dog attack where I got over 70 puncture wounds, lost some use […]
I can say what’s gone wrong in my life. But feeling depressed has been normal since I was very young. I can’t really remember what started everything but I remember being bullied from age five up until I was sixteen. Sounds pretty sad, not one year of school where I wasn’t bullied and alienated. My parents when I was young, was well great. It’s just my Dad’s temper got worse when my half-sister became a druggie. Heroin, Coke, you name it, the police found it. She would steal from my parents and wouldn’t know me. Got pregnant a few times by druggies and drug dealers. […]
I was randomly going through old poems and found this one I wrote one time on coke. It compares someone who used to be my friend, with myself. How she became homeless, and how it sucks both figuratively and literally. I named it “Drug Trip”. Fitting?
The world spins round
The clouds fall to the ground
Life stops, then starts again in secret
Hide life in the shaddows and watch it dissapear
Return to the light and fade away
Forget the dark, misfit the light, fall
She’s all alone, she hits the bone
Pierces through every nerve
Fall to the ground
Pretend the darkness doesn’t bound
You […]
Well im not sure why im here i geuss this site just felt like the best place to share my story. Ive helped a lot of suicidal people and i was told that i was very good at helping to change there lifes i listened to them and helped but ive never had any one help me. When i was born my mother and father were addicted to cocaine things weren’t so bad my dad had a stable job and i had my grandfather. When my grandfather died i was about 4 or 5 my dad became closer to my uncle who was also a drug […]
Ever since I was little, I always felt left out. I always felt that way because any time I tried to be social and fit in I’d get burned. I am 24 now and the depression is sinking in ever deeper day by day. From when I screwed up my first true relationship with a girl whom I believe I was in love with and shared deep emotions with. Ever since then my life has spiraled down. I lost my job at the same time that I broke up with her, and I made things worse by constantly bugging her. I went through drinking heavily […]