I’ve never done this before but I need someone who understands me to talk to. Let me start by describing myself a little bit. So I’m a 25yo woman (kid at heart). I’m told by most I look like I should be a model (I don’t see it). I have an awsome personality very down to earth open minded and supportive to others and have a lot of knowledge about life do to my own exploring. I have no kids but the best dog in the world that I would take a bullet for and a man of 6 years. But ever since I can remember I WANT TO DIE! I’ve always hated living. I feel like my existance was a waste for someone who wants it. I’ve cried everyday since I was about 10. Meds didn’t help therapy was a waste of money. I wasn’t molested but I was so fed up with life by 13 I became a girl that drank a fifth a day. A month after turning 14 lost my viginity and a month after that was as usual drinking decided to try to have sex for the 2nd time and it hurt so I said sorry but I have to stop and the asshole did as he pleased anyway. So I began drinking more and mixing with every drug I could-pills,weed,coke,meth,extacy,shrooms ect. Then was date raped a few months later by an aquantince. I just really don’t want to live. Every day I wake up wondering what bullshit is gonna hit me today? I’ve tried to kill myself 3 times by taking ungodly amounts of pills and have always waken about 3-4 days later. So I’m going to do a ******** SUICIDE BAG. Does any one know how I’m feeling??? I dont want to hear any If I Were You bs. No god shit.
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5 comments
Hey…I guess you best choice right now is running .away for a while
Would if I could but I had to quit my job on the 24th and unempoyments still deciding so I’m tapped out last of my funds went to dog food and grocerys :'( I’m not to good at runnin from shit
If I were you, I’d pray to god (;
Wait…scratch that.
Wait for unemployment to hopefully come through.
Use the money to get the hell out of dodge.
Go somewhere new.
Meet new people.
Get away from the drugs and alcohol.
Breathe.
Yes, I know how you feel. I will say that the thing that strikes me from your post is that you’ve been violated, more than once. I’m in the same boat and it really does affect your psyche. Some seem to be able to move past it and others can’t.
As for the ******** bag, yes, I’ve looked into it too. Gas is my preferred method and what I am planning to do as well. l’m looking for a relatively painless route that WORKS. Pills seem very unreliable and I also seem to survive everything–survived getting hit by a truck (was not in a car) going 60 mph. I have a huge divet in my head but unfortunately am still here. I have even consulted the Final Exit agency and they said they’d take my case…..
Killing yourself is not easy.
Reason #402 why the “suicide is cowardly” phrase is such BS.
Wow you sound like me in 2008 me and my boyfriend were both ran over and drug about 25 feet. Also drugs and alcohol havnt been in my life for a long time.