Tag:

come back

I’m that different

by justanothergirl09 9/10/2015

written by justanothergirl09

It’s hard to stay alive when you have nothing to live for. When the person you loved the most left and now you have no one by your side. You want to have a chance but you’re scared it won’t work. You’re scared to let go and that’s when you start to build walls around you; to protect yourself from others. You can never be the same again and it’s hard. Hard knowing that the person you were back then won’t come back.

Am I okay? I don’t know. I feel lost and alone. I have people who love me but they could never understand what […]

9/10/2015 1 comment

razor blades

by dreamchomper 9/7/2015

written by dreamchomper

I’m the past hour alone I’ve cut myself nine times. I’m only doing this to stop a tenth. Or an eleventh. To stop myself until I go somewhere I can’t come back from. Because no matter how much I want to die, I don’t want to let everyone around me know how much I hate myself, and how much I hate how they all so fucking perfect.

9/7/2015 3 comments

Are you dead yet?

by Rory959 9/7/2015

written by Rory959

When did you ever leave?

I didn’t

Where the fuck are you?

I’m still here

I’m going to let go

But you can’t…can you

No I guess I can’t let her go. I never have been able to. I still hold her hand in mine, I still look into her eyes, I still hear her voice in my head. I can still feel her presence…as if she’s standing next to me. Is she? Am I crazy? Am I ever going to be able to forget? No Rory you can’t let her go can you, you weak fuck. […]

9/7/2015 2 comments

yadeen

by joinel 9/6/2015

written by joinel

words will be forgotten, but memories will always come back.

9/6/2015 0 comment

Mindfulness

by Trix 9/4/2015

written by Trix

Hey everyone, sorry for the ramble –

Has anyone here overcome (at least in part) anxiety or depression through mindfulness and meditation?

I’ve tried to practice them in the past but for the past few years I’ve been in a constant state of anxiety/panic, and it’s so difficult that I’ve never really kept it up. Since I’ve had ME I’ve been more eager to try – it’s a lot harder now to distract myself from depression and anxiety. I’ve also come across some methods people have used to cure their physical symptoms using their minds, so it seems more important than ever that I gain some control […]

9/4/2015 9 comments

#SuckMyFuckLife

by MaybeImAlreadyGone 9/2/2015

written by MaybeImAlreadyGone

okay, so my last post was really positive! But this one isn’t going to be!

ever just have one of them days where even being in someone’s company annoys you but you can’t stand to be alone?

I chose to eat a lot this morning, I used to comfort eat a lot! but then my head just went. So made it all come back out, I made myself sick until I felt weak. Until my belly burned.

Then I went into my room and self harmed. I was doing so fucking well but today I lost it! Worst part is I didn’t even cry! I felt no emotion […]

9/2/2015 2 comments

I decided to back and all in.

by BrokenDreams 8/22/2015

written by BrokenDreams

Hey everyone! I’m still in a barely good shape and still crying for things that shouldn’t even make you feel sad but I decided that I’ll go back writing. Well, it will probably be a run on whether I get crushed by the felling of panic or success to finish this first though.

But I decided that since I only have this I should at last risk it. As long as I can continue I’ll go back to my old routine of being crushed and get up again and again. I might be here a little less but I’ll probably come back time to time! I’m […]

8/22/2015 1 comment

Why does society value life yet treat everyone like shit?

by wndozh8er 8/11/2015

written by wndozh8er

I don’t get it! I guess it’s a control thing. Society wants to keep terminally ill or mentally ill patients alive, yet abandon them. I seen it in my personal life and in others.

i want to focus on the mentally ill for this rant….

If your mentally ill, your friends will leave you, loved ones will blame you, you will be judged, ostricised, and forced into social isolation. But if you try to commit suicide and they find out, they will come back around just long enough to send the white coat fascist after you and lock you up against your will as if your a […]

8/11/2015 11 comments

What it is that I want…. Revisited

by ivygradhc 8/9/2015

written by ivygradhc

I posted my thoughts about this a few months ago and still come back to them…. It is not that I want to die, but it is that I just want to disappear from the world around me and from myself. I would no longer have too deal with the things that bother me, and in time, anyone who would miss me will get past it…. As for disappearing from myself, I just want to be in a permanent sleep state…..That would be wonderful…. I tend to visit good memories in my sleep and I hope that would be […]

8/9/2015 0 comment

by Crowgirl23 7/31/2015

written by Crowgirl23

What do you do when those self-harm and suicide thoughts come back?

7/31/2015 6 comments

These Voices Won’t Stop

by -M- 7/15/2015

written by -M-

Over the entire 16 years that I have been alive, many people have told me different things. Now you woukd think that all the good things woukd stick with me and make me feel better, but that is not the way that this stupid ball of dirt we live on works. All the negative, mean, and hurtful things have stuck with me and I keep hearing these voices in my head repeating them. I can hear “Are you really that self-centered?” “When you lived with your mom, you were so horrible I alnost didn’t want to come back.” and “I have known you for over […]

7/15/2015 4 comments

I just want the pain of life to cease

by unlovedbyme 7/5/2015

written by unlovedbyme

I have attempted suicide several times. Obviously, they failed. I don’t want to fail again.

I have tried everything thing under the sun to get to a point of being ok with myself and my place in this world. I have had fleeting moments of okay-ness, but only fleeting as I always come back to wanting to die.

I don’t trust anyone outside of a few family members who partially understand what I am feeling and give me the same advice of “pull up your bootstraps,” bullshit. I know they love me and don’t want me to suffer and I appreciate that. The thing is, I honestly […]

7/5/2015 1 comment

Gave myself a chance, nothing changed.

by Manhattan 6/26/2015

written by Manhattan

I came across this site and when I tried to register it said I was already registered. I didn’t realize I had posted here almost 3 years ago. I decided to try and live. But today, I still feel precisely the same as I did then. There have been massive, positive changes in my life and my lifestyle, but none of it has even made a chip in the depression I’ve felt since I was a child.

Now I’m 3 years closer to that expiration date I’d given myself: if things don’t improve by the time I’m 30, I’ll know that I’ve run my course. I […]

6/26/2015 1 comment

Me and me

by Stephc 6/18/2015

written by Stephc

I’ve felt my best when I’ve been in school! Seeing good grades and feeling that’s I’ve actually accomplished something. But lately the fighting with the husband and lack of money leaves me wishing to never wake up again. I hate feeling like this but I can’t even do homework right now. I want to walk away and never come back just hope I become a missing person. So I will drop my classes like usual and sit and cry for God to please rescue me from this life.

6/18/2015 0 comment

Hey There World (Tower Talks)

by One Million Masks 6/17/2015

written by One Million Masks

Let me tell you something: if you notice something I’ve done, if it’s not great, if you see a flaw a misstep a mistake
I probably caught it too, and I’m using it as an excuse to escape
Into old habits and unfriendly thoughts, bad methods and frequent haunts, and let me tell you something: it’s a long way down from where I am.

Let me tell you something: if I’m hurting you’ll know, but you’ll brush it off like I do because I will have my glow as camouflage
And I won’t blame you for mistaking the inferno of an implosion for sunshine, because really

6/17/2015 2 comments

Starting Over

by RealTalk30 6/16/2015

written by RealTalk30

Can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to start my life over again. Locations, friends, schools, jobs, girlfriends and fiancés.. everything. Starting over use to be incredibly hard. But once you reach that end.. there is most often, a fork in the road. And you must choose a path. Death..or starting over. I’ve reached my end enough times to realize that at the end, you lose a lot of cares. And if you can manage to come back a smarter wiser person, you come back with little to lose..but everything to gain. As long as there is breath in my lungs, my heart will […]

6/16/2015 1 comment

all i cannot say

by silvermoon 6/1/2015

written by silvermoon

all i cannot say i pour out here even tho it feels so painful in a way. i was told to practice self-compassion and i cant. i cant believe anyone cares. the ones who do are the outsiders. everyone else – nope. ive been dealing with really bad depression and isolation. it is hard not to beat yourself up. my heart just had a huge jolt from noise, for me, noise brings up the past. i wonder how much longer i can bare this. my online friend said if i end my life i dont go to a better place and am still “me” and […]

6/1/2015 4 comments

True of any way to go

by jennjenn 5/25/2015

written by jennjenn

What if when you die, if you kill yourself, your punishment is to come back worse than now. A starving kid, someone with a horrible debilitating condition. I guess thats true of any way you die.

5/25/2015 6 comments

It’s hard to deal with this as a Christian. I feel so guilty…

by SilentScream 5/21/2015

written by SilentScream

I know I’m supposed to forgive, or else I won’t be forgiven. I know I’m supposed to pray for those who hurt me, but it’s not always easy. I’m having flashbacks of things my parents said to my brother and I

No one will ever want you
When you move out, don’t come back
You’re trash
You’ll never be anything
You’re a motherfucking piece of shit, you know that?

And did

locking him in a closet
making him sit outside for hours as they kept the door locked
“Spanking” us until they saw blood

And more. I don’t want this to affect the rest of life, I want to forget, but I can’t . I […]

5/21/2015 11 comments

Fuck N Die sample im song im writing let me know what you think

by bigwing 5/18/2015

written by bigwing

Fuck N Die (I wanna) Fuck N Die (We gonna ) Fuck N Die (I’m a Goner)Fuck N Die (I dont wanna live no longer) imma bout to bust inside never before have I felt so alive I can see my life flashing right before my eyes as I slide my hand ever so gently across your thighs you got me feeling all warm and fluffy inside it got you hot,wet and moisturized and for a second you even got me forgetting that I’m wanting to die but I’m sure it will all come back in due time ,until then it’s game time the balls […]

5/18/2015 1 comment

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