Those eyes are the most beautiful hue of blue I have ever seen. Eyes associated with a complexion that forces even the moon to dull in shine. Surrounding this perfect entity is bliss. A crude seduction is overwhelming as I feel a confidence rise up within me. We are perfect for each other and everyone knows it. My knees go weak knowing he senses my pull towards him. As he walks over to present his hand, all the eyes in the room are fixed on us. I accept. Gorgeous does no justice to the angelic footsteps gliding me around the room. My cheeks turn red as […]
Tag:
Confidence
i asked myself 1st thing this morning when i woke up. my “story” is not worth typing about – you already get it: it’s depressing. i’ve been suicidal for a few years now, but this will be my 1st real attempt. the “helium method” as i refer to it (no access to guns, i have plenty of pills but those have a TERRIBLE track record of successful suicides). i feel ready to go.
yet i have reservations. i think about my family.
i don’t love them, to me they are like strangers i just happen to know many things about, i do not feel connected or bonded […]
Over the last 3 or 4 years, I have been sinking further into despair. I am now at a point where I am ready to exit. The times I have been most at peace over the last few years have generally been when I have been sleeping; I figure that a sleep where I never wake up would be a good thing. I know this might sound like a First World Problem, but my descent began when I got made redundant during the GFC. Since then, I have had to take jobs that have paid less, and also had to use up all of my savings during […]
it’s me who is my enemy.
me who beats me up.
me who makes the monsters.
me who strips my confidence.
All my life all I have ever wanted to do was fit in and make friends but for some reason it just could never happen. I apparently scare people with my looks. I naturally look angry but anyone who talks to me more then 5 minutes knows that I am not angry. Lately I have been sad and angry. I got my 1st kiss a few days ago but it was nothing.  There is a girl who is like my cousin but she is not (Uncle married her mom, they got divorced.) and I made a bet with her.  I won the bet and she kissed […]
”Life is not easy for any of us.But what of that?We must have persevernce and above all confidence in ourselves.We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be atteined.”-Marie Curie
Too bad I don’t have confidence in myself…Can’t find my purpose,something to give meaning to my life;I don’t believe I’m gifted for anything and that is very sad 🙁
I’m just a depressed girl;All I do is complain over and over again.I know,I’m pathetic.
”Be thankful for what you have you’ll end up having more.If you concentrate on what you don’t have,you will never ever have enough.”-Oprah  Winfrey
Things would be better if […]
From what ive read here, my life is the best life on earth, but it isnt.
When i was 5 my parents sent to a special school, for smart children. Every year i begged them to get me out of it, but they didnt. I was a smart kid, one of the best in my class, but i never really fit in to it, they all wanted to study, since we were 5, and become doctors, scientists and so, i never did, i always wanted to perform, to dance, but my dad always laughed at me and my mom joined him so my confidence got really […]
hey guys.. its saturday night and im writing this! dandy! i just moved in to the states.. and yeah things are definitely different.. hard to adapt.. *puh* so i’m spending this saturday night in.. alone.. and.. listening to NYC by Interpol! wow! haha..
anyways.. I just wanna share my story.. i dunno what I’m getting out of this.. but.. it’s been tough I came off my meds.. a while back.. I popped some e’s over the last year that definitely did not help.. I just don’t feel things the way I used to.. makes it twice as hard to get a girl.. or anything really..
shy as […]
They are terrible. My grandma is fucking crazy and she screams at me and chases me around. I live with my grandparents. My grandpa has no heart for the emotion of another human being. They used to beat their kids. My mom hit me really hard yesterday because of something stupid. I’m gifted but they tell me I’m not. They don’t encourage me or any of my talents or anything I do. They constantly blame me for things and make me feel like shit. I have no confidence. I don’t go out. I don’t do anything. I research and self-educate myself a lot but they […]
I’m new to this, I’ll admit. I just happened to stumble upon this and started reading stories and it gave me this breif moment of feeling secure in telling my story. I’ll be honest in that my story isn’t that bad and is really quite dumb, but now that I’ve found this breif confidence, I have to let it out and hope that maybe someone will hear me and understand my pain. I’ve contemplated suicide, I even planned out how my funeral would go, but I’m afraid to upset my friends, afraid that they’ll blame themselves, but they don’t know any of this. I’ve never […]
Don’t be fool by me.
Don’t be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
masks that I’m afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.
Pretending is an art that’s second nature to me,
but don’t be fooled.
For God’s sake don’t be fooled.
I give you the impression that I’m secure,
that confidence is my name and coolness is my gane,
that the water’s calm and I’m in command,
and that I need no one.
But don’t believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface
is my mask, ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion and fear and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don’t want anybody to […]
It bothers me when people who are living a perfectly normal life with no problems whatsoever say they’re suicidal. To me, saying you’re suicidal isn’t a joke at all. If you have nothing to be angry about life, why should you joke around with the meaning? I been suicidal since I was 12 but you know what, I’m trying my best to not do anything stupid. Living with my family isn’t the best place to be right now because there is constantly arguing and fighting going on while I have so called “friends” who are never there when I need them and whom only cares […]
Ever since I started smoking, I don’t know if its the weed but my self esteem dropped down completely and my anger problems have gotten even worse. I stopped smoking and I still have the same problems so I’m started to worry about myself and others around me. The majority of the time, I just burst out whatever is on my mind at the moment which is things I regret in the future. I can’t talk about it with my family cause they’ll think I’m psycho but I truthfully wanna know what’s the matter with me. I know it doesn’t sound like such a difficult […]
I don’t know. I’m suppose to be happy, I’m finally getting a full makeover this week on Thursday and Friday for saturday’s prom. i always wanted to be pretty, pretty enough for guys in school to stop saying how ugly i am behind my back or to my face. Pretty enough for me to have a guy look at me and say wow your pretty. Or at least pretty enough for me to actually have my first boyfriend, or even my first kiss. I want to be able to walk down the hallways with confidence and not  with my head down. I know that I’m […]
Hi
The reason im posting this is because i want to get this off my chest.
I’m 15 and have being suicidal for nearly 2 years now. Before the last few months i was’nt serious about suicide but now i am and need to do this.
I’ve lost alot of friends over the last following months basically pushed them away. 11 months ago a girl local commited suicide,it did’nt no her that well but she had tons of friends, she was good looking, i guess she was just depressed like me.I don’t have uch friends, i have a couple who are friends but not close, […]
I thought I had beaten the bad thoughts, but apparently not. They’re back. Again… They’re back, they’re stronger than ever and I’m too tired to face them. I really wish people could know how many times I’ve fought this off…. How many times all I could think of was not waking up again. How many times I’ve drafted the same letter, trying to find the right words to explain to the people I love why I had to leave them. And each time, I get closer… The letter is now 11 pages long. It is placed in the right place to be found by the […]
It’s been basically a year now. Since I was on this site. I’ve heard many stories of loss and divorce from so many people. Yet none of them seemed to hurt as much as I felt just a year ago. In a year everything can change in a heartbeat. Sometimes for the better. Sometimes maybe not. But in the end change is a matter of life and you can’t shy away from it. If right now you are feeling desperate or in despair. Just think of it as a tunnel. I know you’ve heard of it before. Or you’re saying to yourself but you don’t […]
I want to live, I really, truly do. It’s just that right now, I feel like I’m surviving and life is simply passing me by and I have no idea what to do about it. I mean, I want to die right now because my life means nothing and I’m worried it will forever be like this.
How do you get the confidence to just live? It seems to me that living takes a lot of strength. To me, the difference between living and surviving is simply that feeling of being alive. I don’t feel alive, but I’m surviving anyway. So yeah, I don’t feel alive […]
Ever since June 9, 2008…. I am embarrassed to admit that it may be June 8th of that year, but that day was probably the worst day of my life. A lot of shit went down, that day was like a fucking movie it was so unreal. Some days I tell myself it never happened, as for that is the only way I can cope with it. This world is simply a ball of shit. Hypocrites living out their every day contradictions. Those claiming to be “real” but whose lives are built up on lie after lie, after lie, after lie…. People claiming they love […]
Hi everyone. I don’t know why I’m writing this. Maybe I just need to get this shit off my chest. I’ve been kicked out of college, my only option now is to get a job or be thrown out.
I have extremely bad problems with my confidence, and so getting a job is out of the question. I’m going to take the easy way out and commit suicide. I live in the UK and have £60 from my google adsense, I’m just praying this is going to be enough for some helium, or whatever else I could use to painlessly kill myself.
I feel so […]