Raining endlessly, the usual bipolar weather of New England. Cold & drabby, yet a constant reminder of how she feels on a regular basis. Allows her to empathize with at least something, but ironically rain has no vitalities, schedules, appointments, nothing. Mere droplets, all without knowledge, lacking a single breath of life, just free falling, rhythmically dancing with not a even a slight reason or for any purpose. It’s all just there, forced to fall by the weathering ways of Earth’s atmosphere, its recycling. Yet may still compare with individuals prior to “living,”, born without a choice, forced to live amongst others, unknowing & dancing […]
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Constant Reminder
first off, i just want to say that this may be provoking. sorry.
i have brunt myself, i have severly bruised myself, i have aerosol bruised myself. but i havent cut in over 3 months.
i used to be almost happy about my cuts. sometimes i would look in the mirror and smile at my pale thighs covered in red slashes , but other times i would stay up for hours at night crying into my pillow wishing they would dissapear. now im neither. the scars are starting to fade, but i know that i will have a constant reminder of my type of addiction
it feel like […]
I wish I could restart like a video game. Start over new so I could do everything differently. Every time I turn on my iPod every song I listen to has memories attached to them. I don’t want these memories any more.
I just want to forget the past and let go of this pain. This pain is like a rope that won’t hang me, instead it holds me back, stopping me from moving on.
I just want to let go of the past. The memories. The pain they cause.
I just want to move past this.
I don’t care how I do it, weather it’s with […]
Sleep, please put me to rest tonight.
Sweet Dreams, carry my mind away.
Pillows, help me relax my thoughts.
Blankets, keep me warm and safe.
Sleep, don’t make me wish I was awake.
Sweet Dreams, please don’t terroriz me.
Pillows, don’t suffocate me in my sleep.
Blankets, please don’t strangle me tonight.
Sleep please be the escape I need… Don’t be a constant reminder of my everyday pain.
Please be the comfort and security I need.
My parents … (if you must call them that) are absolutely the worse. They’re the reason why I will never trust anyone, they’re the reason why I think everyone is out to get me, they’re the reason why I hate myself. They act as if I don’t exist. They ignore me on a daily basis. They tell everyone that I was a mistake, that i’m their constant reminder of failure. I try to pretend that everything they say is the opposite. But it never really works out. The man I am forced to call my dad, is constantly making me regret living. He’s the reason why […]
That feeling of just finally being fed up with being torn down and run over by anyone and practically everyone. That feeling of no longer being able to hold on any longer because you have no energy left; but even if you did you just don’t want to put up with it any more.
Why hold onto a life that you’re so miserable in? I know it’s selfish to take my own life because it effects those who cared about me and everyone that has ever come into some sort of contact with me. But c’mon, it’s also selfish on the part of those who try and talk […]
I feel numb when it comes to talking about my problems. I’m not perfect, i’m fat, tall and ugly. I’ve been verbally abused since middle school by my fellow “classmates” and my older sister. My parents are seperated, so when theres problems, I’m the one that has to stay strong and it’s hard when you get blamed for the seperation. (What could I, the child, possibly have done.) Nothing. So far the only thig that helps me get through these suicidial thoughts is the ton of ibuprofen i take everyday and my constant reminder to stay strong for my mother who has been on suicidal […]
the Watcher
The woodsmen, on this day as any other, dragged his found logs from the forest, on a small cart, into the village. Winter was coming and like his father before him he would need to gather a lot of wood to fend off the coming cold. He patted his children on the head and headed back into the dark cool forest for another load of wood. Deeper and deeper he searched for trees that had fallen and split so that he may break them with his hands and fill his cart. Deadfall wood was getting hard to find, his need was great but his […]
This is for a friend of mine, who had longed to leave this life behind.Â
Her name was Amber and she was a ray of brilliance. Her life seemed like any other. (not to say it was perfect. Her mum never had never any time for her so, she was at my house often. Once, we even threw her a birthday party because her mum had either forgotten or didn’t have the money) Amber was beautiful and smart, too. She was accepted into one of those magnet schools and was successful in her early years of school. She quit the magnet school, however. I recall her grades […]
I really can’t take this anymore. I’m sorry to all of you who take offense to me, since you all have real legitimate problems that I want to help you with if it weren’t for my own selfishness and self loathing got in the way. I’m sorry.
I hate my family. I always try to see the good in people rather than be a total pessimist, but I am always proved wrong. I hate how my father comes home everyday piss drunk. I hate how my little brother is treated like a king when he acts like an asshole 24/7. I hate how my older brother […]