Now I want to kill myself for the simple fact that I’m sick to death of every person on earth saying I’m bat shit crazy and fucked up in the head because I want love in my life!!!! Everyone since I was a kid has said that it’s wrong for me to think about love or want love!! Now I get called bat shit crazy and am said to not know what love is or be capable of loving anyone!!! I am going to fucking kill myself this year so everyone can shut the fuck up!!!!!!!!!!
So here I am, an eighteen year old boy on a website designed for sad teenage girls and I’m expected to talk about the “perks” of being me? Okay fine if it will keep her happy and I’ll be able to come out more often then FINE I’ll write! Hm some perks? Well, I had a milkshake last night so that’s cool or whatever. Man I don’t think I can sit here and pretend there are perks to being myself. I can’t even be myself! I’m 18 and a boy and I’m trapped in a woman’s body, let me tell you going to the bathroom […]
That’s how I feel, every day. I hate holidays. I could go run around with the guy I like again, but I’m exhausted. I’ve basically been “partying all weekend” starting on Thursday – the day I had set to kill myself, but at least minute was given the ok to come hang out, and it’s not really my thing to run around like a teenager and party. On the other hand, one of the many things I’ve loved about him is that I feel younger with him. He’s 6 years younger than me, but he has the energy of a teenager and at 37, I […]
i don’t know where it all started i got so angry and so upset that i had an urge like no other i could never seem to bring myself to inflict harm on someone else so i started cutting. oh my gosh at the instant relief you get so i just kept doing it again and again and again. my first time was with a tack cause i was 14 and did have anything else at the time. then i got older got a pocket knife never cut directly over the wrists i did want to really kill myself just wanted the pain to go […]
I can’t sleep until like one o’clock anymore because I don’t know. I just stay up at night with all of this energy and I feel like I need to go fight somebody or run a few miles. I can’t though. I have to stay at home and try and sleep. It happens during the day too, I’ll just feel cooped up and I have to do something, anything at all to get rid of the energy. I’ve literally never had problems like this before and now it won’t stop. I get angry for no reason and I start to freak out and all sorts […]
It all started with an urge to play the ouija board.So three days ago I started reading stories about playing with the board & that’s when It started.It started off with a scary dream but that’s It till today.I was smoking some fake weed & then I started choking on my tongue piercing.This happens often but this time It felt different.An hour later me & my friend are driving & smoking.Suddenly I started to trip out.I promise you Its not cause of the fake weed.It felt like someone,something was trying to possess me.Its like I was there but then It felt like I left my […]
It’s been a while since I have been on here. I consider myself a suicide survivor. My story is not anything crazy but I invite anyone to contact me, young or old, male or female, to contact me. I want to be here to be your outlet. I want to be someone to hear your story and to pass on my wisdom that things will get better. So please, please contact me before you decide to put an end to it all. I will show you the world is worth sticking around for. My email is 2sadhappy@gmail.com. If you email me I promise you a […]
When I was younger, in the grades of 2 to 4, crazy used to mean funny, or silly. As I’ve grown older, I’m still labeled as the crazy one. But it has a whole other meaning now. Being called crazy really sucks. I can’t get away from it, it doesn’t matter how hard I try to.
I’m not crazy. I’m a girl who has a mental illness. Sure, sometimes, I ask myself if I really am crazy. But I know I’m not. There is nothing wrong with me, besides the depression, self hate and anxiety. I am a human like everyone else, yet I find that […]
…seeing as I am suicidal, I would love to give my life to something meaningful. Why don’t they give people who want to die the opportunity on the front lines at war? It doesn’t mean we’re unstable, just miserable and our lives will be given for a good purpose…
Is this a crazy idea? I mean, I know people would be in uproar if the government allowed it saying that they are taking advantage of mentally disturbed people, we are not pathetic people, we just suffer a lot, very much like a terminal illness and would like to offer our lives for something good.
What are […]
he only time I’m at peace is when I’m sleep. Every day is a struggle just to live now shouldn’t that be simple?? it takes hours to calm my mind down after I’m at the point to where if I cut any deeper ima have to crazy glue it closed to slow down the bleeding..Yea I do that sometimes..It burns like shit but it works. I hate being depressed all the fucking time
(I sound crazy??You must not know me then;).)
Yes its true, we made a vow
For better or for worse
You want my heart I’ll cut it out
And throw my veins in the dirt
For years and years I’ve kept my vows
Up until today
We both know its over now
But for my children I will stay
You say you hate me
‘Cause you think that you know what I’ve done
But its all crazy
knowing that she’s truely the one
I’ll listen to what you have to say
Just cut out my eyes
When you speak I hear her voice
Although my vision cannot lie
You say you hate me
‘Cause you think that […]
I’m tired of pretending to be ok. I’m tired of not feeling well. I’m tired of lying. I’m tired of feeling crazy. I’m tired of disappointing people. I’m tired of being sad. I’m tired of being anxious. I’m tired of being embarrassed. I don’t know what to do. I’m miserable.
It’s funny how the Human mind is the closer it gets to the end. I constantly have to remind myself of what’s going to happen and the gravity of it all just wont set in. my mind cant perceive life after death. It’s pretty crazy.
I feel blinded. What am I missing? Who am I missing? What am I doing? I’m so fed up with this confusion and feeling As though something is wrong. I dunno… Maybe I’m crazy
I wonder what happens if people live in a unified country.
If there wasn’t any civilization?
why we’re not satisfied?
when We can live?
This Questions are vain and silly
I think I’m a crazy
They think you’re crazy.
They think you’re mad.
They call you stupid, worthless, tell you you’re not worth it.
Now you’re walkin’ back, to a place you call home,
but you feel so alone.
The same hurtful hits, it’s your darker place.
In your virgin ears, the remarks they make.
And if they, if they really knew all of those things.
That you do in your room, to hide the pain.
I bet their minds would change.
I’ll bet their minds would change.
They’d change, If they knew the pain.
I believe in these scars, I believe.
Where to begin.. I suppose I should begin with my introduction to antidepressants. I’ve gone through several different brands and have yet to be impressed. I’ve always felt the need to avoid medication at all costs, as taking meds would be an admission of emotional instability; Once I get on them, I’m officially crazy. But, I began to sink lower than I ever had before in my previous bouts, and I became fearful enough of my own thoughts that I decided medication was my only option. Scary thing, antidepressants.. All those side effects. The dependency….
I’ve been seeing a girl […]
this insomnia will be the death of me…..i go days without sleeping….i’ve tried everything, and i do mean everyhing, other than giving myself a concussion, benzos, sominex, chamomille tea, melatonon, entire bottles of nyquil ,benedryl….eventually after a couple of days i’ll crash, but it’s still not restorative sleep, and then i’ll wake up a few hours later….my husband says i’ve been screaming in my sleep, or whimpering and begging….once i even cried while sleeping…..but when he wakes me i have no recollection of any dreams…i’m at my wits end with it….hypothetically speaking, if i hadnt been crazy before these 2-3 days at a time bouts […]