I’ve thinking about this lately. I do it because the physical pain destructs me from everything else, but this girl I was talking to the other day said she used it as an outlet for her anger. Just curios to know what other people’s motives were.
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cut
So I was considering uploading a picture of some severe scarring I have. It’s not to show off or glorify cutting. I actually wanted to ask if anyone knew how to heal them (or if they could be healed) because like I said they are very severe and ask if people think it will majorly interfere with my life. I haven’t cut for four months but the scars still look fresh. I just didn’t want to upset anyone or encourage or give people the idea of cutting. Would this be acceptable? I’m not interested in causing problems, they are just a major source of stress […]
Alrighty, here goes nothing. I am trying to not cut, as per usual, and instead of cutting, I find inspirational stories on the web- pictures of healed scars, supportive tattoos etc. Unfortunately I ran into one of those memes that says something about cutters not cutting the right way and why don’t you use a lawn mower and only emo kids cut because they just want to fit in… WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE! Cutters cut because they are in so much fucking pain, or they are so numb or so hurt or so damn traumatized that the only way they can […]
So this guy I started talking to and that liked me told me he’s falling in love with his girlfriend again ok so I bet your confused so his girlfriend lives in Louisiana where he used to live but he moved back to his home town I knew him since 5th grade so he’s falling in love with his girlfriend again I feel so stupid for trusting him he was my first kiss but Im not sure if I regret it I told him so much about me how I was depressed and that I cut and he was depressed too and cut I actually […]
I’m sorry for who I am. I’m sorry that I can’t let anyone close without pushing them away and hurting them, I’m sorry that I can’t make new friends or act like a normal human being for once. I am sorry that this sadness keeps coming back around and hitting me in the face with a baseball bat. I’m sorry that nobody understands or cares too. I’m sorry I’m manipulative.
and finally, I’m sorry that I found this site, for my constant neurosis and self loathing coupled with sadistic, sociopathic-type behavior. What am I supposed to do? You don’t care to understand, […]
I am so fucking sick of you pathetic excuses for parents telling me that I’ll “ridiculous”, “a failure”, and pathetic every time I mess up at something, not matter how minor, no matter how many times I succeeded. I’m sick of you telling me that I’m not good enough. I’m sick of you guys using my dreams and my ambitions and threats against me, like I won’t ever get anywhere in life if I suddenly didn’t live with you anymore. Well heads up, fuckers. You cut me off when I was 14. Since then, I have made my money, paid my own tuition, bought my […]
So I found a place to live, in an LGBT household and I know I’ll have support here but I feel so empty and painfully alone because I lost my best and closest friend in the sense that he truly doesn’t give a fuck how I feel, refuses to listen to how I feel and will cut me out of his life if I say how I feel, shits all over my feelings and acts like I don’t exist and we were never as close as we were and constantly pushes me away and trivialize my feelings and barely says anything to me […]
I’m the past hour alone I’ve cut myself nine times. I’m only doing this to stop a tenth. Or an eleventh. To stop myself until I go somewhere I can’t come back from. Because no matter how much I want to die, I don’t want to let everyone around me know how much I hate myself, and how much I hate how they all so fucking perfect.
I’m back to the knife
not the sharp ones I’m used to
don’t want to cut too deep
but can’t seem to cut deep enough
can’t draw blood
too afraid
too afrad to relapse
needing medical attention
having people worry
seeing the pain in their eyes
but I want to draw blood
not too much
just a little
but I can’t seem to do it
all I make are red marks on my arm
like scratches from a stick
Its 5 in the morning and my thoughts are wandering. It’s been a couple months since I’ve cut and I’m thinking about how much I miss feeling the freedom once that blade digs into my skin.
I haven’t cut myself for like 2 months, but I really want to right now. I just need to feel the pain.
Would a check of 10 million dollars cure your depression? If I signed you a check, would you take it? Would that make you want to live? Maybe a trip to a luxurious destination would liberate you from depression? Maybe splurging on a yacht with so many amenities. Would that really cut it??
My depression gets worst everyday I cry every night I don’t cut myself everyday but I do every week I haven’t told anyone and I’m scared if I don’t get help that one day when I don’t want help and someone helps me I’ll ignore them everyday I want to kill myself I’m just scared to commit suicide I don’t think I could do that to everyone who loves and cares about me and if one day I can’t take it anymore I think I’ll actually kill myself I feel so lonely I just want someone to be there for me so I can know […]
I don’t know whether to cry or laugh. I’m so god damn done. I’m done with living and feeling like absolute shit.
Yet, I can’t even kill myself. Or cut myself. That used to be my escape and now it doesn’t help at all.
Today, I kept jerking the car, knowing my step father would feel pain. And I wanted him to. I wanted him to feel a fraction of what I feel everyday.
And my half sister wouldn’t just shut up. I screamed at her. And I would’ve kept screaming at her but my step dad told me to […]
Why is it that every time I try to end it all my conscious is like “No you can’t do this.”? Is it because I don’t have the guts to actually cut my vein?Or is it because I still have hope that I can conquer this battle? Yet, I can still harm myself? And not think twice about what I’m doing. Maybe I can conquer this battle or my demons are just playing around with me.
Im doing my best not to cut. Been clean for years.. But i know that the sight of blood would calm me down…
I feel as if there is so much hate and anger inside me that i need to release some of the pressure.
I cant cut… Not because i want to live.
I cant cut coz im saving all my strength for aug 23.
I gave myself a chance and delayed it for as long as i could… Thats going to be my final day.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fick fuck fick fick fuck fuck fick fuck fuck fick fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck fuck. Fuck fuuuuuuuck. I’m just a fuck up. I need to cut.
I’ve been in a place where I didn’t want to be here like I was in every ones way like I had no place to fit In… I still am, but many people that have the most perfect life, family, friends, relationship. don’t understand why we cut our wrist why we starve ourselves why we lock our self up for no one to see just to be alone forever. Nobody knows how many times we cry in our rooms when no ones watching…This lifestyle that we are in isn’t a choice we didn’t want this for our self or for anyone but perfect people […]
I’m not shining to anyway
I got cut but I won’t say where
To keep you safe
I’m not just singing
Waves, are they kept like some secrets
Cascading you rather to a, concussion
A French-man, padding my Uncle’s hair
Got a one slap
I’m not just singing, oh, eternally
Your gyrating, from me
Did I wasted it, a fickle
My only beautiful, is a burnt struck of a match
How do I need you
This is 2nd my post. I am not suicidal right now. But it still feels worse.
Yesterday I took the knife pressed it’s sharp end on my wrist. It didn’t cut. But it was the closest I came to hurting myself. Today I want to hurt myself but I don’t have the courage. I hope when I cut myself, the little cut will open and all the frustration and negative things go outside. There’s too much dark content inside me, that needs to get out.
Is it good that I think that cutting is better than suicide. Can cutting can relieve me off this desperation or whatever […]