I give up. On everything. Nothing is worth it anymore. Nobody loves me. My family hates me, especially my dad. Everyone loves my sister more than me. She’s skinny, smart, popular, and beautiful. Multiple crushes and my own father (he shouldn’t even be called that) like her better. My father calls me stupid, a whore, and a slut. The one boy I have loved since kindergarten told me repeatedly he hated me, that I’m a freak, that I’m ugly and fat and a lot of other stuff that’s completely true. I have practically no friends. They all left me in 6th grade. I was left utterly alone. […]
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Dad
2 years ago I was touchd by my unkle and my dad left me when I was 2 weeks old my gramy is on druggs and my great grama is going crazzy by being Alon and my sister and my mom fight every day I never got to live in a real house before always appartmenst I have only 1 sister and she Bates me so much she always says it she just said it like 3 minutes ago she says she wishes I would die I get picd on at school well I use to just because I got held back my mom is […]
Im tierd of crying , im tierd of always getting hurt in the end.
I want to have one fuckin day to not cry . Daddie , why did you leave me ? I love you dad , why did you do this to me && mom it’s unfair your being selfish i will always love you though .R.I.P dad. && this guy I “like” he don’t like me there is no way he probly desprate . After all im a ” LITTLE GIRL” ugh I hate crying . :/
My father once said to me, “Life dealt you a really shitty hand, but all you can do is play the hand your dealt.” That was before I lost bladder function. I did not think to say to him at the time, “Well dad, I can always fold.” I was born unto a house of pain, and now I have to deal with health issues on top of all the psychological issues, all the arrests, all the beatings, all the hospitalizations, all the incarcerations, and for not ever really even breaking the law. I have been locked in a dry cell with nothing in it, no plumbing, no […]
I am 20 years old. I am female. I am a law student. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a friend. I am confused.
The first time I sat on my bedroom floor with a bowl of pills to swallow I was 13 years old. My Pop had recently succumbed to cancer, I’d lost a friend and I was just feeling awful. I swallowed two and then got scared. I swallowed two pills a day for four years. Every day. The first time was because I wanted to see my Pop. Every day after that for four years was just routine. What […]
The first time I tried to commit suicide I was relatively young. Thinking back, I’m not sure why I tried. I just got so tired of living. It’s not that I had no friends, I had a bunch, but I didn’t really have any real ones. I knew my friends talked about me behind my back, we all did. It wasn’t the fact that they did it, it was just that they said such horrible things about me and acted so nice to me. Then another something happened at home. My mom and I fought so much, it was horrible. She would scream, yell, tell me […]
I talk about this with a lot of people, but I take it so lightly and act like talking about it doesn’t hurt but it does. You probably want to know what I act like I take “lightly”. It’s about my biological Dad, he was abusive and would hurt my Mom and I. When I was two she divorced him but I still remember what he did to me. He would hit me and one time he actually held me over our balcony and almost dropped me. You may not believe me about this because a lot of people don’t but it’s true. I remember […]
I hate the term ‘to help’ because it means that you have a problem to be fixed in the first place.
I am a teenager and have already been through more than most people can even imagine. My biological father left when I was a baby and is in and out of jail. I haven’t met him, nor do I want to, but that event in my life is still a part of who I am today so it was worth mentioning. When I was young (2-5) I was physically abused by my stepfather at the time (also my little brother’s dad). I have two half […]
i miss you so much. and i know i ruined our relationship. seeing you with someone else just kills me. it breaks me into pieces and i want to hold you again. i can’t live like this anymore. i miss school all the time. im weak and hopeless. and i only know the way out of this is to die. i don’t have the ability to do it myself. but i wish i did. i want to leave. im not strong enough to go through this pain and suffering. Â i need to let go. i have no true friends. i have my family but thats […]
I’m so sick and tired of living at home. Can’t I go to college yet? I mean, a lot of people look at me and go, You have nothing to complain about. Your parents are happily married, You don’t have any siblings to drive you crazy. Your grades are above average, and you’re a talented girl.
As far as that BS goes, YOU live with my parents for years by yourself. I have a verbally agressive dad that has one of the most closed up minds that I’ve ever seen. I have a mom who is depressed for no fucking reason. As far as the rest […]
It’s 9:48 AM and all I remember from last night was me sitting in my room, crying, and contemplating death. I remember me sitting there on my bed looking at the pile of pills calling my name. I sometimes think that I think to much, but maybe I don’t, maybe I think about the bad stuff to much. I decided that I should start thinking about everything positive in my life. There are people out there dealing with way bigger problems than mine. Some people are dealing with cancer, somebody’s parents died, they’re brother or sister died, and some people are starving. My life is […]
I said things where better and I thought they where. I was wrong though. just hours after my last post all hell broke loose. My dad went crazy he got mad at me and he threw me on my bed and was shaking me and hitting me and I screamed that I hated him. he grabbed me and dragged me head first off my bed and slammed me to the floor. He saw my mom at the store and he told me that she didn’t want me. Nobody wants me anymore… My family has abandoned me…and I don’t know what to do.
The only reason I am awake […]
On October 31 2012 Â my dad shot himself. Now I don’t know why he did that. I have only one person left :/ mom && she’s broke . F.m.l<\3
About a week ago I found out how fucked up my family is, my mums an actress so she goes on tours alot and my dad is a psychotherapist who has been trying to get his quilification for 11 years!
My dad is a lazy alchoholic but he dosent hit me, but he manipulates my emotions until i’m crying in your room for an hour or 4. My mum hates him because she has payed about 250,000 punds on his training so we’re broke. My brother ignores it by doing working and other activities. My dad is very….. destructive, of people and my stuff. He has […]
I am new to this site and it’s a little comforting To be honest. My story is a long one I’m only 17 & life is hard. Its gotten so bad that all I do anymore is stay anoint in my room. Not a day goes by that I cringe at the fact of getting out of bed and starting the day because I know what is goin to happen. I wake up and as soon as I leave my room it starts..the daily morning insult from my dad..its something every day…your nothing…you will never be anything..worthless…your a waste of a human life…that’s just at […]
Well, for starters i need to tell you i’m mexican. So my english may not be always great. When i was a kid i was a very spoiled girl, mostly i remember… (Or all of it) by my dad. He used to be my heroe. Literaly. This memories are just like a bomb in my head they come one after another in so much disorder that i cannot express them well. My parents used to fight always. There was screaming, throwing things, door slams, car persecutions, cheaters investigation, sarcasm about my dad in every adult convertation… My mom started to unload all of her trouble […]
Hi. My name’s Erynn. I’m new to this website, and wanted to introduce myself. I thought the easiest way to do this, was to make a small list of facts.
1) I don’t have my drivers license yet.
2) I go to therapy.
3) I hate myself; there’s nothing about me that I like. Nothing.
4) I have no friends.
5) My parents are frustrated. They love me, but don’t know what to do with their daughter. Mom ignores me, and Dad just gives one-word answers.
6) I started being depressed in the 4th grade.
7) Going out in public makes me utterly sick. I feel like everyone’s eyes are on me. […]
I’ve always gone back, to the place where I once sat and cried. I can remember the pain, watching all the little kids play and me just sitting there and wanting one to come over and ask if I would like to play with them. I remember when I sat on the swing and watch the girls play jump-rope and the boys played one their game-boys. I remember being alone. It hurt everyday, and everyday even more rage would full me up inside because I wouldn’t eat anything. I remember hating myself and wishing I could start over or die. It didn’t help that […]
I know I’m only 19 and I have a lot of growing up to do, but I feel as if there’s no future for me to look forward to. I had a very hard life growing up, I had to deal with both physical and verbal abuse at the hands of my mother. I never received hugs, kisses or I love you’s from my mother. She rather beat the shit out of me everyday call me names like stupid, heffer, ungrateful and dumbass. My bi-o dad is not in my life.i haven’t seen the man I should call daddy since I was 2. He and […]
Alone In This Cruel World That So Many People Call Home While My Thoughts Brutally Attack Themselves
by Miss.Mayhem
written by Miss.Mayhem
I’ve attempted to write my suicide note. Or notes I should say. I’m not even done with the one to my love. It’s like 4 pages long already and not even close to being finished. Do I know if I’m going to commit suicide? No. I just want everything ready for when and if it does happen. I see it being a 30 to 70%. 30% being I won’t attempted it. The other 70% is I will. Probably not now but latter.
Tomorrow and Thanksgiving and I’m not sure what to be thankful for. My family resents me. My friends will eventually turn their backs on me. What’s […]