Into the darkness,I walk alone,
Where all my faith and hopes are gone,
Into the abyss,I jump tonight,
I know nothing ever can be set right,
When I put the noose around my neck,
I can’t take my regrets back,
Why is it so difficult to kick the chair,
Knowing well my freedom is near.
Lights seeps in
Darkness fades away
Darkness seeps in
Light fades away
In between is a balance
A balance for neutral peace
Peace cannot be destroyed only pushed away
We all go through darkness
We all go through light
In between is a balance that’s just right
so sit tight dear kite
for you will fly in such great height
for you are the light
so that the dark will sit right in tight
for peace of flight that is just right
~M00n – how was it? I just wanted to express my feelings on total peace and how the dark needs to come together with the light to work together and sort out what they are feeling when they […]
For the past week and a half, I have been walking through a tunnel of darkness, it feels. I couldn’t see and thought I wasn’t going to be able to find a way out. It was disorienting. But I kept trudging, and along the way, fears from childhood pulled at me from the darkness. They nagged at me. “Stay with us,” they pleaded. “Don’t leave us behind,” they cried. So I stayed for a while. They soothed me with their familiarity. So I stayed for a few more days. Then a voice within the darkness asked me, “Don’t you remember?” But my fears gripped me […]
I have this cycle. I am okay. Or at least I have myself almost convinced I am okay. And then I am less okay. And less okay. Until I am in this pit where nothing but my darkness exists. And I’ve been trying to cut out the darkness. Hoping precisely made incisions will help with all this pain. Maybe if I slit open the right spot it won’t hurt this much. But it does. I always fall back into this hole. And I don’t want to do it anymore.
The other day I wrapped up all my loose ends and went to sleep praying to a […]
I wish the stars would shine the way they did when you and I were one. The world seems lonely now, the nights are filled with silence. There is an emptiness all around me. The skies are darker now, the nights are longer now. In the silence I strain to hear your voice again but all there is, is darkness. The night grows cold, the flames we kindled are no more. You were the light that lit the skies, that filled my heart with joy. You made the stars shine brighter, you gave the night a warmer glow. I wish the nights were ours again, […]
My life is a downtrodden groundhogs day.
I wake up every morning with a varying degree of hope and slowly pull myself out of bed. I turn on my computer, if it isn’t already on to charge my phone overnight, and my monitor then venture into the kitchen for a fresh cup of water. I like water. Fortunate I suppose, I know most people don’t. I could gladly skip juices and soft drinks for a steady supply of water. A fresh sip splashes my mind and cools my senses. Today isn’t so bad, I think to myself. If I’m hungry I’ll peer into the fridge and […]
Hi to whoever is reading this. I don’t know where to begin. I’ve never done anything like this before. I’m embarrassed. I’m ashamed. Going into college, being an 18 year old girl felt amazing. I pictured myself partying, having so many friends and so much fun. I tried to play myself off as that person for the first month. And it didn’t occur to me that I was draining myself slowly. Finally, at the beginning of last month, I realized that these “friends” I had made were interested in who I pretended to be. I couldn’t fight it anymore. I wouldn’t fit in if I […]
First of all – I’m no native speaker, so bare with me plz! I am male and recently turned 23. I am physically fit, finished business school with good grades and due to a profitable hobby of mine, I got no real money problems either. So why can’t I be happy? Let me tell you of the dark side of my life…
My mother suffered from severe depression after my birth AND when i turned 12 (right after my dad left us for some stupid slut). Coming back from school hoping my mother hasn’t killed herself today, having nobody to talk to, while dealing with my […]
I don’t normally tell people about what I’ve been through and well since this is a website where no judgement will be placed on a person if they express themselves, I might as well use this opportunity to release some of my pains and emotions.
This is just a summary….
Hi my name is__________________.
I’m a girl with many fears and very little memory of what I’ve done in the past. I can only remember the key points in my life that really messed me up, it’s rare that I’m able to remember something happy.
I’m 19 years old. I have two half sisters, that I’ve never met. Me […]
you come
crying
and eating
growing
your halo of gold
i take it
i steal you away chil’
to my palace
in the darkness
i shape you
molded clay
becoming
red and black
devil chil’
you are mine
now go
out into the sun
into the moonlight
break them chil’
tear them
kill their babies
poison their water
burn their crops
break the glass
shattering
make them crumble
give them
infernal fire
watch
as they turn to ash
go forth chil’
leave your chocolate behind
and become the devil
this world will end
you are
darkness
my creation
burn them all
darkness envelopes my body as I lay stiff
while my mind is set adrift
my eyes stare straight ahead to the ceiling
as the blade cuts I still don’t have no feelings
petty and sorrow is all that lasts in this world
of mine I wish I can blow away and let the wind
take me away …..
All I see is darkness, but I know there’s light somewhere.
I feel like I’m not in the game. The life game, I feel like I’ve stepped out and in to observational mode. But the thing is, I’m not sure what is so great about the game. I don’t ever get sex, I don’t get the cuddles or the mental connections. I don’t get mind blowing experiences or happy endings of any sort. I tell myself, everything that is  wrong with the world is there to make the good things better, and that I should accept it and learn from it.
But you see, I can’t do […]
giggles, smiles, happy moments
shattered broken and
Disappearing replaced with a broken heart and tears
A deeper darkness than you will ever know
Pushing on is to much
Causing more and more pain
The thought is more sweet than ever
Maybe it would be better
Everyone would be happy
The Darkness grows stronger with each passing day
Why fight
Why resist
Its the better option
Everyone else would be happy
Fear. Fatigue. Darkness. Anger. Pain. Shame.
So basically this is my first post and it’s going to be shitty sorry.
…buuut yeah, my name is Brianna and honestly, I don’t want to be living here on this bullshit planet any longer. I’m tired of getting judged by the music I listento, the clothes I wear, what I look like the next day, and so forth. My life to me is honestly completely useless. I wake up everyday feeling like a mistake, and that I should’ve never been born. I’ve been called names like slut, emo, ****, *****, and been told that no one likes me, I’m depressed all the time, I […]
Reaching out but never caught.
In plain sight but never seen.
Screaming for the attention,
the one that will never come.
But if it ever does,
it’s too late;
For I am gone.
Shouting for freedom,
hoping for a savior.
The wind whispers,
of Love…of Acceptance.
Blank faces stare back,
forever judging,
forever laughing.
For I am gone.
No more crying,
please; For me.
No more loneliness,
no more regret.
Darkness…Light,
they both look the same.
For I am gone,
For I am alone.
I’m not sure what I really expect anymore.
A couple months back, September to be specific, I found myself in a hole. You know it, the black abyss that you stare at day in and day out. The one that never seems to end. I had been looking into, getting lost in the darkness for too long. Years have past since I can actually remember being happy for a full 24hrs. It seems so surreal to even imagine I used to have fun.
Anyways, I tried to take my life. I really tried… pills, alcohol, the whole deal. Fortunately or unfortunately ( I haven’t decided […]
I have both antifreeze and OxyContin that I am able to use. Will the two together work? And if so will it be quick?  Any knowledge is greatly appreciated  Thanks.
Fairytales aren’t real … the stories you read in the books when you were little , they’re all lies to. There’s no happy ending , no prince charming and there’s no one there to save you when you need to be rescued. There’s just the darkness and its there to eat you alive , to remind you that your life sucks. It pushes you until you break down , it breaks you until you are completely broken. People say that if you fall 10 times you get back up 11 times well here’s the thing … that darkness knocks you down 12 more times. Sooner or […]
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