It’s so horrible that I feel like I want to die every day! Like, why me? Why do I deserve to feel this way?! It all started when I was 13, started cutting, burning myself and suicide attempts… But when I was 15 it got so much worse! I had to deal with my 21 years old boyfriend at the time (we were together 10 months) Raping me, hitting me, making me do things that I didn’t want to do, stopping me talking to my friends and begging me to cut myself because he liked the look of it.. Because of him I tried to […]
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deal
i have been on here for a couple of days but i deal with the same thing you guys deal with…….i am stuggling to not try and commit suicide even thoe it hards i get thru it.i have learn its not worth it nd nobody is worth my blood or me dying.if you ever need someone to talk to just comment below and i will help you i promise or i will do my best to try and help you.
Having a new kid in the house has been hard. Already had a 2 year old and now a 16 month old…. Its enough to make you feel like you are losing it. Went from working 50+ hours a week to now a strict 36 hours. Working on interviews for a 2nd job. Have been off my medication for 2 weeks now, not because I was trying to quit them but because I’ve simply been too busy and lazy to deal with refilling them. Not sure it was a great idea to avoid getting them refilled but hopefully it doesn’t set me back too far. […]
The pain,
Inside,
The dark,
Where it seems to hide,
The walls are closing in,
And the razors?
Well they call my name,
screaming,
loud,
loud,
LOUDER,
Til i cant take it,
I run,
Tears streaming down my face,
My heart,
Pounding,
Finally,
I sit and cry,
Razor in hand,
Back against the door,
Music,
Its blaring out the speakers,
I slowly slide the razor over the soft skin of my wrist,
Blood,
It drips,
A puddle,
Starts to form,
I now can finally sleep,
In peace,
This is how i deal with life,
Cuts all up my arms……
I’m 19 years of age and in need of  a way out of this world. I just can’t deal with the stress and hurt any longer. Sure it goes away for a few days maybe even weeks but this horrible feeling come back with vengeance all the time. Even more powerful and even longer than before. It’s always on and off and all I wanna do when I feel that way is sleep because I can escape. I’m failing college and loosin all my friends one by one. I am truly alone. My parents would flip if they knew I was failing, and more than likely […]
So I have finnaly manage the perfect plan. Quit my job, leaving my house, my animals have been placed with family members with the pretence of going travelling around the world. But its actually the perfect plan to finally have the opportunity to be in the position to end it without having to feel guilty about leaving my family to deal with all of my crap. House, bills, animals… So now will travel and see the most amazing things i. The world then i can go without felling guilty.
Its weird, when I was growing up in a very conservative home, went to a Christian school and I used to feel like I was suffocating all the time. I am not a very religious person because I don’t really see the point. Who can prove one god exists and one doesn’t? My life goes pretty smoothly and I have great family and friends and I play college sport; so it seems as though my life as a purpose right? I feel as though when I truly look at life as a whole I don’t understand how God (whoever that may be) can not be […]
I don’t want to go to work Wednesday. I’m off the next two days. But I know asshat will be there. I can’t deal with him anymore
At work I’m supposed to fill out these safety cards, basically saying that I saw a co-worker doing something safe or unsafe. Theres a drawing where you can win a gift card and other stuff. Well, I’ve got to fill out two a week at least. I already did a “safe”one, so today I just wanted to get my “unsafe” card out of the way. Well, guess who I happened to see go outside without his orange vest on. What’s that? My ex, you say? You’re quite right, you smart cookie, you. So I write him up the card, give the info half to my […]
Been crying for two days straight, can’t deal with the pain no more.
I really tried but seems I’m not strong enough
I’m trying really hard to be strong, but it’s really difficult and I’m having a really hard time. number one priority, i HAVE to graduate. i spent hours in the studio tonight and will spend hours in the studio tomorrow. but then there are all my other classes. i can’t look at his messages, it will make me fail, and that’s exactly what he wants. i have no time for a social life. i miss him so badly, but not his insanity. how cruel can he be?! he keeps seeing how badly he can hurt me. I’m so heartbroken and I’m trying so hard […]
She was ten when she noticed
When it crept into her veiw
Was it too late?
She was sitting in her desk trying to draw
When death and suicide were all that she saw
she saw the darkness for all that it was.
She learned to deal
It wasn’t severe.
Aside from the voices she’d started to hear.
She was ten when she noticed
When it crept into her veiw
Was it too late?
I’m depressed and fantasize about suicide because the medical community can’t tell me why I’m in pain or how to fix my pain. However, they won’t prescribe me medication to deal with the pain because I’m depressed and fantasize about suicide. The never ending cycle of “screw me,” continues.
im sorry im leaving
but i dont think you understand
i need to leave this planet
i need to leave
why you might ask
because im hurting people
far too many people
no youre not you may reply
but i am maybe not directly
but indirectly i am hurting them
i worry them and make them panic
i make them concerned about me
ive tried lying i really have
but i cannot lie about this
i must go and leave you
i apologize for that
but i have to go
i need to leave this planet
so no one gets hurt by me anymore
so […]
I have so many issues I just can’t deal with anymore. I’m trying to get out of bed to live my life, but what’s the point? Everything seems daunting. I can’t sleep, eat, my memory is shot. I keep crying. I just need life to take it easy on me, to throw a bone for once. I feel selfish and terrible for obsessing over myself like this. I don’t know who to talk to, all my friends know I have bouts of depression but know nothing about attempts and cutting. I just want to be normal. Sorry everyone. Just needed to put that out there. […]
Almost a year, time is passing and I’m stuck here waiting for I-dunno-what to accomplish my plan.
Months , crying, hurting myself, blaming myself, feelin’ sorry for myself, suffering for the choices I’ve made, suffering for the things I’ve done and hating every fuckin’ part of me.
There are things in my life I can’t change, I refuse to deal with that.I’m NOT STRONG ENOUGH, and there’s nothing wrong with that, IT’S OK GIVING UP SOMETIMES!.
It’s ok.
I just gave up, just gave up.
Planned my suicide, everything is settled down, I’ve got what I needed, I’m supposed to kill myself last month, but […]
over the past few months I’ve pretty much realized and accepted the failure that I am and that feeling inside me doesn’t go away. I’m sick and tired of it and each time all the expectations that are brought infront of me by my parents make me realize even more of the enormity of how badly I’m failing them. it kills me inside and each time I get these supposed wake up calls it makes me so angry inside and I cut myself and keep moving the blade over and over my first cut. I let the blood flow, see the trail and ponder over the […]
To anyone who is attempting suicide tonight, I wish you success in your attempt. Simple as that. I know we would all like to think that we can offer positive encouragement to fellow sufferers… maybe because it’s what we desperately wish we could find ourselves… but I know in my case that is just hypocrisy.
I wish for you what I wish for myself, that tonight your pain ends. No bs about finding a cure in life, no bs about finding a better solution or a way to deal with the pain. No, I hope you reach the true end of your pain which can only […]
“I’m tempted to leave the car in drive, and leave it all behind.”
No more medication. I refuse to take another freaking pill. I am NOT going to take another pill. I’m so sick and tired of having to take medication everyday. Taking that pill is like pretending to be somebody I’m not, it makes me act happy and as if everything is okay. News flash, I’m not happy and nothing is okay. If I don’t want to be happy then get over it and let me just be miserable. If I’m going to be happy it’s not going to be because of some pill. It’s […]
as long as these new voices aren’t telling me to hurt people, I think I can deal with them