By this time, like I said previously, my life literally felt as if it was crumbling to pieces.
Ever since that one night, my mother’s “friend” had made a habit of having some sort of sexual activity or sex in itself every night, my mother being “oblivious”.
That summer though, my father decided to move back to my end of the country with his fiancé and her son. I was not that thrilled about it.
For two years, nothing really changed. We had a routine developed and everything was once again as stable as it could be. We moved a few times but that’s it. […]
Tag:
Depression
I don’t know why I feel this way
I don’t know why I do this to myself
I don’t know why I cry so much
I don’t know why I tried to kill myself
I don’t know why I push everyone away
I don’t know why I feel so alone
I don’t know why I am anxious
I don’t know why you hate me
But then again i think i do.
I survived through a lot. Overdose, Anorexia, rehab(a lot of times), depression, self harm, suicide. If I can do it, so can you darling<3
I am someone who has gotten help for my depression before. I went to a treatment center and it helped considerably. But…I still feel like something is…missing. I still feel pain for no reason, want to cry when there’s nothing to cry about, and just feel, well, lousy when left by myself with nothing but my thoughts. If someone said, ‘Here, I have a painless way to die. You’re gone instantly.’ then I would probably take it. Life…doesn’t have much meaning for me. It’s like, ‘okay, I exist’ but nothing more. I’d be content to just stay in my house all my life. I don’t […]
Again, it’s me.
I figure I should do a re-cap just so no one gets lost.
My father abandoned my mother and I when I was five months old.
My mother met a new guy when I was four and I caught them having sex. Since that night, she made me watch and take part in sexual activities.
My mother moved me twelve hours away from my last piece of sanity and put me through hell with that new guy.
When I was eight my mother and I were out of a house so she shipped me off to my fathers.
While living with my […]
Hi..i’m a 16 year old girl and i really don’t know where to begin..
but I will begin by saying i’m suicidal and under a lot of depression…
the cutting has temporarily stopped, but when I get the urge to do it..nothing can stop me.. I will cut myself with anything and everything…
i used bobby pins, box cutters, scissors, knives, plastic, dried up paint, rocks, needles, safety pins…you name it ; I’ve used it..
I had to undergo therapy for it when my mom finally noticed..but it’s all a bunch of bullshit..
nobody really cares if you’re alive or not. and once you die, […]
Hi everyone..this is a poem I created about last year..when depression hit it’s worst..well here it goes,
Trapped like a bird I sit in this cage
Never once to show a bit of rage
Empty, like a book without it’s page
All I know is now..I bleed
The one that watches me has no creed
All the thoughts..on MY mind
Never are they..ever kind
My eyes become dark..I think I am blind
My mind wishes to just rewind
To forget everything I had once done
But, my heart challenged my mind…and won
So know..I still am forced to know what I have done
I am no […]
if all the colours of the rainbow
could make my day less grey.
make it filled with sunshine
and more than just a boring day.
My day used to be exciting
with things to do and time to play.
but now its just colourless,
with depression my only friend.
always making it self aware,
and there is no end……………………………………
I am 25 years old. I have always had problems with depression, with self-harm; I’ve attempted suicide twice, and I promised myself that the third time would be the last; I won’t mess it up, next time. The third time will be the end.
The third time is all I can think about lately. I have lost everything, these past few months. Two years ago, I moved 1000 miles away from home; away from all my family, who spent my entire childhood abusing and neglecting me, and away from all my toxic friends that only dragged me down into their messes. I wanted a fresh start; […]
My name is Richelle. I am 13 years old, living in Sydney, Australia. This is my first post. The start of my depression began, in my opinion, around the age of 8. I had no friends, so I talked to the school counselor, Wendy, whenever I could. We played Go Fish or Snap and talked all lunch. She was my best friend, and I thought she was so beautiful. I wanted to be like her when I grew up.
The day before my 9th birthday was my last day with her. She said even tho the next day was her day off, she’d come anyway so […]
Well I’ve just failed at hat could possibly be the only salvation from this depression I could’ve had. But no, I’d rather seem to throw it all away and destroy myself. I can’t cope anymore, but mostly, I can’t cope with who I am anymore.
Im not gonna try to post something extremely witty and dark and intellectual and poetic.. i just cant sleep again and im hoping that posting this will clear my mind and i could get some advice from people who possibly feel the same way as me. I could list every terrible thing thats ever happened to me and all the times ive tried to kill myself and all the addictions ive had but thatd take too long and im tired and lazy. So basically, im depressed, im bipolar, im insecure, im lonely, and i feel like nobody cares about me apart from my immediate family. […]
You know, there’s something about depression that gets me… the way you are suddenly unable to see things clearly. It makes you ask why everyone stopped caring, and I wish I was told this when I was extremely depressed. Then again, that may have been the reason I learned it for myself…
Those people who you thought cared, and then abandoned you? It’s quite possible they actually did care, at least in the beginning. They saw something in you, and just because they chose to stop seeing it, doesn’t mean it’s not there anymore. It was there for them to see, and even if it’s not […]
I want to kill myself.
Awww why you have a perfectly… almost perfectly good life. You’re just going through a bit of a rough time hang in there, its going to get better.
Its not going to get better, I’ve been wanting and waiting for it get better for how many years now… I can’t say I can predict the future but I’ve been understanding my feelings, my death wish, and I want to dies more than ever. I say more than ever, but I cant clearly remember all the reasoning, the beliefs, the crap that led to this point but I can say with confidence that […]
“You are not needed”
Those words ring through my head constantly
Ever since they were spit at me, spit at my face
And I couldn’t say anything
Because that would mean denying the truth
Suicide
I’d always considered it yeah
It was always passive, a passing thought throughout life
The usual motives are still there, and it’s all so cliche
I think I am fat and ugly and stupid
My story just seems like another one of those huh
The most major problem I have is depression
And my emotions are unfortunately unstable
I have panic attacks, I never see them coming
Then comes cutting, such a sick process of harming and healing
Then attempts to make myself hurl, all […]
I have always been taught that patience is a virtue; that good things come to those who wait. I have lived on this Earth now for 18 years, I am still waiting.
My life so far has been… Gentle, in many ways. My familly are able to provide for me: I have food and a bed, I even have a little money of my own. They say that you can take a horse to water but that you cannot make him drink: though I have food I have no appetite, and though I have a bed I am rarely able to sleep. It seems to me […]
I have intentions to be productive for myself. I want to be helpful and do right, for myself and others. I like to impress and make people around me proud. I have a standard to live up to. My family expects my fullest respects, and endlessly utter my continuous responsibilities. My friends just expect me to be there. Usually I’m quiet, but if I’m around long enough most are bound to get a piece of my mind. After that I kind of just do what it takes to blend in. Even though I’m more than use to sticking out. The feeling is like: hope–To be […]
Someday people will be able to plug themselves into their computer and ‘think’ their blog posts. That sure will make it nice for us suicidal types who have no energy to type because our depression has drained it all.
‘If wishes worked, I’d be dead. Damn, I wish they worked.’
Well, I’m a newcomer. I’ve read, and commented on a couple of posts and I’m actually kind of…well…not ‘happy’ that I found this site but, more intrigued. I’m 14, 10th grade, and I’ve already found my depression. Even when I get out of it and go to my ‘happy music’ (which is basically rave and happy hardcore), I find myself slowly slipping back into the dark emo cutting phase. and don’t get mad at the word emo. It’s how I describe myself. I have a wonderful boyfriend, great friends who are there for me, but I just don’t know what it is that pulls me […]
It’s my forgiveness from my dear friend.
I sent a message to an unknown in facebook. She shared her story and one guy was really troubling her and making her life hell. I felt she is pure and she was tough and caring. I tried to give confident in her and she called me soul mate. As she was already in depression and she tried to commit suicide once, I never went n meet her just was doing the same and asked her to go to doctor with a friend.  I tried to write for her, some were natural and hoped she may be smiled for […]