I had a friend who told me that it will get better after high school. It will, it will it will. But as I move through this site, some many people aren’t as young as I am. Is that really where my future is headed, depression my entire life? Is it really worth the wait, or should I end it all as a teen. I don’t want to live for years feeling like this. I don’t know if I can.
Tag:
Depression
I’ve had this saved for some time now. Realised from the moment I thought it that one day I would use it. My family, especially my parents, have the right to know why I decided to do the unthinkable. They have no idea I’ve been researching it for months. Devious really. This is a material world and I want out.
To My dear loving family
Forgive him all for what he’s done
A departed soul he has become
His pain and suffering so much so
He had no choice but to go
Young, loving and so very proud
But in the end was beaten by deaths dark […]
hi, i’m not a good writer, so i’ll just lay it out. Â im 32, ive spent the last four years busting my ass to get into grad school. I have always been depressed, but I don’t remember much from before my dad died. Last may I found out I was gonna have a son. In Sept my mom died. In Dec my baby was born. This semester was a blur, but I managed to fail the GRE, get rejected from grad school, fail a critical class, but I managed to walk with my class back in may. My aunt has just been diagnosed with […]
My Dad had lung surgery today so I was quite busy …but if anyone needs to talk if you feel like shit, call me. My number is 4054643502. I live in Oklahoma. I thought I wanted to die but realized on this site maybe I need to say wait a minute….watch stupid videos that make me laugh. enjoy the time with my dad and my family and give to others if I can. If you want to die , that’s your decision. Im gonna watch Jenna Marbles on utube, realize how fucking ridiculous and stupid things are and try to move on. I know depression […]
This is my first time posting on here, and I would like to read some first hand accounts of hospitalization after a suicide attempt, or being hospitalized for threatening to do so. I would like to know whether you feel it helped you or made you feel worse. Were you diagnosed with a mental illness and do you still want to kill yourself?
I’ll start…
Bought components for helium bag online last fall (live in a small town so it was easier to find online). I suppose I was acting a little too disconnected from others and my boyfriend caught on before I could summon the courage to […]
Again? Were things ever really better..?have they ever been okay? Or were all those moments just a distraction..
I’m scared. And I’m alone. And I’m so tired.. and those words taste so bitter.. because I thought I was strong enough to beat this.. I thought it was something you could beat. In my years I’ve always shrugged away help or people. Because every time I let my guard down.. I learn a new lesson. A new, sad lesson that makes me tnink even more that its just time to give up this fight. And Ive been fighting all my life.. before I even knew what depression […]
hi,
I’m new to this site. I was going through a hard time and subconsciously started to look at suicide related links, which lead me here.
I’ve had depression, bulimia and other illnesses like insomnia for about eleven years now. Although I tried and failed to commit suicide about five years ago, I’m generally a cheerful person and eight years with a good counsellor has lead me a long way.
I still have problems holding a job down, but the biggest blow is that the one love I’d been with for five years told me recently that he is marrying someone else. I have no choice but to respect […]
When I think back to when I was a kid, I can’t remember being happy.. And I don’t know why. And then I thought..
I’ve always been unhappy.
My family has many issues that now I know effected me; screaming and yelling, name calling, blaming, frustration.
I remember it all.
I remember getting these overwhelming feelings like I was trapped in a small bubble and couldn’t get out, I know now that the feeling I felt was probally depression..
I’ve been depressed since I could remember..
And I really don’t remember a lot because that’s how my body copes..
I want to talk to someone but […]
My friend is also going through depression and he literally crying down the phone to me.. I hate to see him like this.. He is going through the stage of life where he hates his life and wants to just get on a bus and go somewhere where no one will find him, but I would.. I know I’m going through the same thing but it’s hard for me to tell him advice when I don’t really have anyone to give advice.. So I would like it if someone gave me some advice for him please as it’s hard for him and me
Has anyone here been fired from a job because of their depression and having emotional breakdowns mostly every shift? Â I am too scared to find another job because I don’t want to disappoint anyone else.
My boyfriend doesn’t understand my depression and social anxiety. Â He thinks its a phase and that I will grow out of it. Â My depression gets worse everyday and I want him to realise the seriousness of this before it is too late. Â What should I do?
I have insomnia. Â I have been diagnosed with servers depression and I really don’t know where to turn to anymore. Â I am up all night and exhausted during the day. Â I feel absolutely useless to my boyfriend who said to me that it will be ok and it isn’t because he is the one who has found me multiple times blacked out on the floor with a razor in hand. Â I’m unemployed and unable to find work. Â I am contemplating suicide and I just need someone to listen.
Why am I like this?I’m a 14 year old girl, at the end of my freshman year of high school. And all I can think about is killing myself. I don’t understand why I’m like this, am I crazy? It feels like everyone else is just strolling along happily while I’m stuck in a hole deep underground. I’ve felt like this for the past 3 years, I cut myself for a while and I’m trying to stop because I’m sick of being embarrassed of myself but the urges are returning. The feelings of desperation and loneliness take up most of my day. I […]
They ask me if I’m okay knowing that I know what they want me to say. I smile say I’m fine it’s like this everyday. Most of us don’t have a life because depression has literally taken over are life’s. I was so happy.. He made me happy he’s the only guy I will ever trust. I’m a bad girl friend it’s to much for me I can’t help it I was dependent on him for happiness. I told him he would have to leave and start his own life. He told me where ever that is he’d take me with him and now he’s […]
I’m just so sad all the time.
I just want my pain to end, and I can’t wait for long.
I need relief.
Should I end it or should I not?
By the way that was a rhetorical question because I know all of you will be like “noooo don’t do itttt”.
Though, I probably will within the next couple weeks.
So, yeah. That’s it. Just needed to let that out.
Sorry for wasting your time.
My boyfriend sings me You Are My Sunshine every night before I go to sleep. Â And he’s tone deaf. But it’s that simple thing, that small gesture, that makes me feel a little better about myself. I know I’m not near as bad as I used to be, I haven’t had one of my episodes in a few weeks. I really just feel like I need to make the better of situations, I need to stop being negative and holding onto the past. Maybe it was my fault I’ve been this way? In some ways it was, and in other ways, it wasn’t.
I haven’t thought […]
I’m not lost, I’m not in pain, I’m not under that much stress (22/m/In college), I don’t have too bad a life actually. My dad is unemployed so with my part time job I’m helping him stay afloat back home but I don’t mind. He wiped my ass when I shat my diapers as a baby and now I’m repaying him by helping him when he needs it. I’m not religious. I never understood the whole God thing. Not that I didn’t go to church. I really tried to believe, I wanted to believe, I just couldn’t buy into the invisible dude in the sky […]
She put the knife to her soul
She needs a sweet release
She needs somebody
She digs in deep, revealing all her secrets
She knows her time was wasted
She put the pills in her mouth
She let’s death sit on her tongue
She needs some love
She needs to breathe
She drives at a tree
She wants realization to come at her at once
She hates feeling worthless
She hates the dreadful feeling of guilt
She wants the light to overwhelm her body
She wants to be taken away
She is hit by it all
She is gone
She was wrong
She just needed […]
I was just reading through an online addition of the peaceful pill handbook (probably an outdated version, but oh well). If anyone has read some of my other posts, I have talked about how much I would like to use an exit bag. I don’t have any supplies gathered yet, but that’s because I’m trying to learn as much as I can about this method before I go out and do it. From what I can understand, gas is the most common “knocker outer” that is used with exit bags. I have considered buying a tank of helium or ********, maybe even both for good […]
I can’t even explain my feelings every night
I feel my heart aching as I turn out the light
Can’t shut my eyes, swollen from each tear
I never expect my thoughts to get this severe
Knife, scissors, pills all cover my desk.
All which can leave me very statuesque.
Thoughts erupt my mind about all I hate
I don’t know really if I want death to wait.
Each night I spend lying completely alone
When will it get better? it remains unknown.
Searching deep down to find me a reason
Why I keep living through this suicidal season.
Exploding with depression as I lie in my bed
This pain is too much, makes me wish I was dead.
These thoughts […]