Hello. I am 21 years old and an old friend to depression. I believe I have always been depressed. In middle school and high school, I had no close friends. I have gone one date in my entire life. I am not academically gifted given the fact that I have no willpower. Three quarters ago, I had a 4.0 in college and now I have a 3.06. I feel inferior to my sister who has always been better at me at everything. My brother doesn’t give a shit about me at all and has attacked me on some of my issues. I have been to a counselour and a psychologist. Every time I talked […]
To the world that once existed, beyond the fingertips of a women’s hand upon a man’s shoulder. Beyond the crisp eyes of a child in the middle of a city, lost, cold, and unknown of their surroundings. I am writing to you because, I, myself, am lost; lost in a miserable state of mind trapped in your solid box that some may call their home. My life is without water; without moisture. I am in need of essence, reassurance, liveliness. I need the compassion that you solemnly lack. You, give me nothing but the desperate need for air. […]
my depression? it has spiraled out of control i feel like there is nothing in life that i can enjoy, everything is just dark and hollow, i feel alone i feel like i want to bawl my eyes out but i have cried to many tears for me to cry i feel like being dead would not be so bad no one would notice… i just feel like my life is worthless i feel like there is no body there for me, that i am on this all alone but i need some one i have done to many things alone i need someone there […]
Since I was 14 or 15 I’ve detested living, but for the most part I’ve hung in there for other people. I tried back in 2000 (and obviously failed) to overdose on xanax. Apparently, I didn’t take enough. When I woke up I was PISSED. I ended up in the hospital for 3 weeks. The last several years of my life have been as far from positive and happy as it can get. Lost my job and after living in another state for 16 years I had to move back in with my parents because I have NO money left. My father will not speak […]
So i faced my worse fear.. But the so called “vacation” i suppose to have fun on didn’t go as i planned… When i got to Ontario the first 2 days was relaxing and sorta fun. I hadn’t relaxed in a long time it was nice but after that my depression took a spiraling turn for the worst… I got extremely depressed i couldn’t even find the strength to play with my 2 year old baby brother Jayson whom was plastered to my side the whole time i was there… When we got home a week later i started to loosen up and relax.. But […]
ok schools tomorrow….il be a high school freshman…i get a new start since i’m going to an uncommon school most people are going to the school across the street from me. i however am going downtown to get away. my parents say i betta not fuck this school up. like its my fault for the last 8 years well its not. if i can get these last 4yrs to be drama free it will lower my depression if not then i stay the same. this better break it somewhat otherwise idk what to do:/
I sometimes suffer under depression because of some problems with my parents and because I was bullied in school. But now I met a boy online, who is really amazing and I really like him and I know that he likes me, too. The only problem is, he doesn’t know how I look like. I’m fat and ugly and ew. I am really scared that he won’t like me anymore if I tell him that, but this would break my heart. When I think about it I’m nearly crying.. What should I do.. ?
So i find myself in my own hole again, im 21 years old and i’ve suffered from depression all my life as well as other disorders. i first started feeling depressed when i was a young child. The first thoughts of suicide that i can remember was when i was 8 and from that point i’ve been on and off many medications. I’ve had the ups and the downs and now i feel like im stuck in the down and i can’t get out. i spent a month in a psych ward in December and was released in January. i was homeless when i was […]
My aunt died after having cancer for four years. It was six days before my twelfth birthday. I was in sixth grade.
I felt nothing.
Jump forward a year and three months: Christmas 2010. During my seventh grade year.
My grandparents were crying while we were opening presents. It had something to do with a photo album, sent by my uncle, which had pictures of my aunt in it or something.
My depression started then. It’s lasted for almost two years now, getting progressively worse. It started out as grief, and from then until the first few months of eighth grade, whenever I’d hear about cancer or suicide I’d […]
I’ve been battling with depression my whole life. I got on anti-depressants when I was about 13, but I caught a lot of flack from my dad’s side of the family so I stopped. I continued struggling until I was about 18 and decided to get back on the pills. It seemed better at first, then it got worse. I was contemplating suicide at least once a week. It was getting to the point where if something in my day went wrong, I would have mini breakdowns in my room. I would cry and curl into a ball and wish horrible things upon myself. I told my […]
I honestly have no idea how I am, who I am or what I’m doing. It’s difficult to have your whole family think you’re an attention seeker because you cut yourself and because you’re depressed and were suicidal. It hurts so much to let people you care about so much down. I hate myself more then anything ever. It’s so hard. When I say it’s so hard I hate myself more for being so weak and pathetic. I’m 16. I have grown up bullied, hit and at one point I was sexually assaulted which I very rarely talk about. I have a boyfriend now, his […]
I just came across this site this afternoon. It’s actually the exact sort of place I had always looked for before, when the darkness always took over. Any time I googled anything about suicide, it was always for help, for “don’t do it” articles, for getting over depression. I realized somewhere along the way, this isn’t something you “get over”, it is always with us. True, it has been a while (less than a year…which is a very long time for me) since I’ve been there, drowning in that blood-red sea with no sign of hope on the horizon, but it’s still in me. I […]
My name is Lyndsay & this is my experience in hell on earth.
I’m 20 years old, female, college student.
The craziest year of my life started August of 2011… Right around my birthday…. It seems like my birthday is a celebration of the worst times in my life. It’s like oh joy but not why you might think.
I was attending college and living at home with my mom and little brother. I had known that my mom had an addiction to pills all of my childhood. This has caused more problems than you can imagine (example seeing her go through withdraws and throwing […]
how do you deal with depression and suicidal thoughts
when those who hurt you most and brings you to depression
and suicidal thoughts are those you love so dearly?
how do you cope with it when those you love so dearly are family,
family who you will have to see and interact with,
the ones you are tied with for the rest of your life.
My life has been getting harder and harder. I’m completely fucked up. I’m sadistic.  Corrupted as a child, and now completely twisted inside. I’ve seen too much for a teenager. My family is the exact opposite of your typical white picked fenced happy-go-lucky families. My Dad a bipolar screaming gym head with horrid anger issues. My mother, too physically impaired to even care about anything but going back home to her “Real” family. I have no siblings. I have no friends. It’s hard enough that I’m extremely timid and shy, it upsets me to an extreme to simply look someone in the eye. But also people don’t […]
well its been up and down since i joined this site ,i shared my story , how i was raped , and used , hell im still used by so many of those close to me and it hurts but i lets them cause im hurting myself in the long run.When i joined this site , i had never hurt myself , never tried killing myself , i had only had thoughts about it , i was 14 when i joined up , im now 15 ,16 in 4 months ive tried killing myself twice , and cut myself a few times , ive also […]
IÂ cut. A lot..
I’ve done it for about a year. I swore to myself I would never harm myself like that, but look where I am now. I have an arm and two ankles covered in scars and cuts. I think of cutting as a stronger way of crying; i feel so weak just bursting into tears, so intsted i cut, it shows i’m strong enough to deal with pain. But now I know I need to stop. People who mean so much to me tell me I need to stop. I’m loosing people because of it. I nearly went to hospital because the bleeding wouldn’t stop. […]
 Hi My Name Is Ellen,I’m 17.I suffer from Severe Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, And Graves Disease (Hyperthyroidism),And i anxiety issues. I’m not going to go into the gory details of what happened to me, what caused my depression (which to be honest, was a million different things). I left school at the start of grade 10 because i was being bullied…really badly, and that just added to my other problems, a few months after i left school i was sent to a Psychiatrist,she diagnosed […]
I can’t hang on anymore, I can’t grip on reality, it feels like one tiny more push by a friend or family member or a tiny indirect threat etc will push me to taking 60 pherngan tablets.
I’m so lonely…..
Hi everyone basically I am suicidal suprise suprise, this time I don’t want to come back, I deactivated my facebook because individuals were egging me on to kill myself….urgh, I am currently stressed out about TAFE, my family situation everything basically and I have been on 9 different drugs, anti depressants you name it, I hate my life and I am suicidal I want to die.