Hi there. I’m a suicide survivor. I want to share my story to everyone that is going through the same thing. I have type one diabetes and that was one of the main reasons why I got made fun of, including my looks. I’m very insecure and I hate it. I’m a survivor. I wanted to die. I got a pocket knife and I was going to do it, but my brother walked in on me and he stopped me. He let me cry into him the whole night. A few weeks ago, I drank bleach. I threw away the bottle and my mom saw […]
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Diabetes
angry again. why exactly i can’t really say. angry with myself, the world, everyone and everything. blah blah. that is what depression is -right? anger turned inward. self loathing. mind games where you set yourself up to fail. i will never win because i don’t believe i deserve to. i can talk a good game in therapy but that inner cynic is there to remind me of my unworthiness, worthlessness. the cynic is working hard to convince me that life isn’t all that it is cracked up to be. that i have every reason and right to tell everyone fuck you and off myself. the […]
I feel like the reason I like the suicide project is because I can write my true feelings. Â Usually I keep them bottled up. Â I know my dad has advanced diabetes and my mom just lost her mom and then her little sister and she feels helpless so I cant really tell them “hey I have serious depression, I lay in the fetal position and cry and wish for it to be over” Â That doesnt help them. Â So I try to keep going and then what happens my sister starts a fight with me over shit that has nothing to do with me. Â So I […]
Hello,
I’m glad I found this website, if only to vent and see that are other folks in same boat (not that I’m happy about that).
My Story
I’m a 48 year-old male. Been diabetic for about 20 years. I been somewhat suicidal starting in my teens. I grew up in a fucked-up white trash family. Mom is a religious freak with little or no employable skills. My father has all sorts of mental issues and was quite abusive growing up. I decided to move out of state when I was 21 but at the time I getting along OK with my parents. I wasn’t kicked out or […]
Today my parents are away, so I think I can hang around here not being afraid they’d be peeking into my laptop. And I can ask this silly questing, how do I do it? How do I get diabetes?
And don’t ask what is up with me, ’cause nothing is up. I just still can’t figure out the trick. So many people get it just out of the blue, without ever trying to. I know it has a lot to do with heredity, but not always the case. If it doesn’t run in my family, so I can never get it? I don’t believe it. There […]
I used to think positively.. I used to believe that everything I could see beyond all the bull the world has put in front of me, of us, was beautiful. I used to admire what beauty the world offered us beyond the structure of tall buildings and society itself, beyond the pure ignorance of these fellow people who believe their opinions should rise above those of anyone else.. I’m simply disgusted. Disgusted that I’ve been alive for the years that I have and still feel like I’ve nothing to show for it. Disgusted that I somehow believed that after all I’ve given with nothing to […]
Here’s the suicide note I’m thinking of using:
I’m through living a life whose defining characteristic is being depressed.
I have what would appear to others to be a good life. I have parents who love me (albeit from 3000 miles away), good friends (albeit almost all of whom are married and so not as available to their single friends anymore), and a good job (albeit one I no longer have any interest in because I don’t have any interest in anything). In short, I have what appears to be a good life, albeit, it isn’t.
I’ve been depressed for ten years now (give or take), and I’ve […]
I wanna die… I have the resources to do it but instead I’m writing this…
My name is Derek and I’m from South Africa and I’m 21 years old. I guess I have what you would call an average life. My life was always great and I was someone who was always happy, always smiled, was always optimistic, I really loved life… Until a year or two ago…
Three years ago my mom had died(from organ fauilure due to diabetes) and that was the end of the little perfect family that we had, we’d never had much but we were always happy. After that my dad and […]
i know this will sound stupid but i honestly dont know what to do anymore. i am a 14 year old girl who suffers from diabetes, coeliacs disease, under active thyroid, and psoriasis. i hate my life! i think i suffer from depression but i dont know? ive never told anyone about how i feel, and at the moment its like everyday is a task and getting through it is very difficult!
i already feel bad posting this because some people are going through so much worse than me but being 14 with psoriasis is a living hell. when my friends look so nice in all of […]
I don’t want to die, at least I don’t think I do. I just want to make that clear.
2 years ago I was cutting. Often. Almost everyday. I was angry and sad and angry at being sad. I didn’t know how to respond to these feelings, I pushed my mum away and I cut. Not very deep, but frequently, and over and over again in the same place Each fresh cut over a healing one The sight of that blood it helped.
Then i moved in with my dad and he caught me. I got better. I stopped. Every now and them I admired those fading […]
So I have a kinda long story of my life but here goes:
So when I was 1yrs old my mom went to the hospital for back surgery, the doctors forgot to clean their tools from the previous surgery they have done and my mom got an infection affecting her spinal cord causing her to go blind and have short term memory lost. And I only saw my dad on the weekends because my mom and dad split up as soon as I was born and my dad had 3 of my brothers to take care of. So I had to live with my […]
I guess ill start by stating the facts… Im currently 17, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when i was 4, fell into a deep depression in the 6th grade, and am still feeling depressed. although i manage to have an outward appearance of being fine, im not. I was also recently diagnosed with severe POTS… some shitty thing where my blood pools in my legs, so i have a high heart rate but low blood pressure. If i compare my life to others, i know its damn fine. I have a loving mother and three loving sisters. My dad loves me in his […]