Why is everyone so obsessed with this world? As in this existence with earth and the solar system and our god?
Part of the reason I’ve felt alone for so long is because I never really felt like I was in the right place. I’ve always had a feeling like im not suppose to be in this world.I just never really belonged. im positive there are other worlds out there worlds with diferent planets and creatures and different gods.wanna know what my deathwish is?. When I die I would like for my soul to be taken to a completely different world…a different existence.I guess I […]
Tag:
different
I have been Googling and found plenty of information on accidental deaths via the “choking game”, but no info on intentionally dying via that method or what it feels like to die via that method (whether its painful or not).
So my question is, is the general method of dying via choking game painless? I’m assuming you would feel high and pass out before any pain begins but I want to be sure.
“God, did you see Susan today? I swear, that woman should get a clue when it comes to makeup.”
“Lol, u kno she ratchet asf. Dat ***** is FUGLY.”
“I’m tired of seeing all these homo-faggots around here. It’s a sickness, I tell you.”
“She wears black all the time, doesn’t talk to anyone, and looks like a *****. I bet she’s a satan-worshipper.”
“Look at how fat he is! And that face…..disgusting. I’ll get him Proactiv for his birthday.”
“Those damn rag-heads in the Mid-West worshipping Muhammad. God’ll take care of them.”
“Non-believers are so stupid.”
How do these statements make you feel? For anyone reading, you probably recalled a time […]
Ok this is my last post, in just a few hours I’ll be gone.
I’ve spent my last days trying to enjoy myself and everything I love with my heart, but still it wasn’t enough to make me change my mind. I don’t have regrets but I would have loved to be able to give a propper goodbye to the people I love, anyway I don’t want them to know what I’ve done once it’s done, so I’ll have to keep all that for myself.
Life looks so different when you know it’s going to end, it’s not brighter nor darker, just different, as if you were […]
I was in a chatroom on social media
and i saw those words
‘i feel like dying’
shit
thats not what the website is for
so i tell them
‘call the suicide hotline’
they disregard me
a person message
‘stoop her’
stoop her?
im so confused now
‘stop her,shes my girlfriend’
shit
what am i supposed to do now?
so i set up a little personal package
dont die
suicidal numbers
truths
sigh
send
there
i fixed everything,right?
10 minutes
30
nothing
Wait–
Something!
‘Has she responded yet’
Oh
No
And now im going back
To that one place
That one place where i
pull my hair
and cant breathe
and feel like letting it all out
literally
just opening my mouth and letting my organs flow
a shake and heave
and start my same habit in a different place
and think about […]
I feel like I don’t want to keep on trying anymore, it’s hard to explain but I feel like I have finally achieved everything I’ve ever wanted and still I don’t get any joy from it. I still have some things that I have to “fight for” but I already know that when I finally get them I wont feel anybetter than now.
It feels like even when I got what I wanted (to have friends, and family and succeed in what I do) nothing is real, I feel like it’s all in my mind, I don’t think anybody actually loves me or cares about me. […]
Why do I bother. If insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results…….then I need to stop trying and give up hope. I continually reach out and make efforts to improve my circumstances with the same fruitless results. I am so sick trying to find my place in this world and always getting shot down. If I don’t try and nothing happens who cares, it’s not like I risked anything. I need to accept my fate, my role here or lack thereof and just ride it out gracefully until there is a better way out.
maybe I just don’t understand myself or perhaps my perception has been distorted to the point where I can’t recognize the familiarities in me, but I just don’t know. I don’t know where my life has gone and the prospect of where it’s going scares me. I don’t know what to say, my thoughts are jumbled and hard to articulate, those emotions are ineffable and I can’t stand their presence.
I’m longing for a life I never had or perhaps a life that I feel I no longer have the ability to conceive, a life I can’t even fathom or translate into words. the world around […]
So the past few days have been hard anyway……I forgot to take my lithium….the bad thoughts were relentless. And then I find out that my husband cheated on me with this whore. ….again. and then he told me he wanted a divorce. Bad thoughts in overdrive. I took a couple klonopin and lay down but I can’t sleep…….I feel like such a failure. What did I do wrong this time? I have tried so many different meds, hoping one will work. I have been on the unit, in partial and aftercare…..trying to get better, trying to make it work. And now, there is no reason […]
Is it wrong for someone under extreme pain to end it the only way they can? I don’t think so. If my life is hell why shouldn’t I be allowed to end it? If it’s mine I’m going to do what I want with it. It’s not your choice, it’s mine, I don’t care if my choices hurt you. That’s on you, not me.
I’ve spent the last 48 hours sitting, walking, cooking…Not hungry. I start pacing. Hello panic attacks…Nothing is really helping. Someone shared a suicide story on Facebook. Great, I decided to watch it. I”m completely beside myself. I go to youtube in the hopes of listening to some music that will help and I find more “suicide hope” videos. Yeah…I’m filled with the hope of an end someday. They all seem to outline my issues in a glorified, filtered image.
Another panic attack. My heart is going to give out before I can commit at this point. I’ve started to cross into the realm of being so […]
There was inter star meet.
Where organizer auctioning different planets
For some reason, I brought planet earth hoping it will be profitable
When I see into it, it is full of species called humans
Only 20% of those species are really useful for me
I separated brain out of those 20% humans and threw remaining part(body) of the humans and also I threw away that useless planet
Now I realized these preserved brains are useless because those brains are so screwed up with concepts like god, billion year old concepts of physics, crap philosophy and full of self-convincing power.
To solve a problem which I can in a day, they took 10 […]
I’m one half of a dual-military family. My wife is deployed and I’ve been a shattered man since she left. We’ve been through some ups and downs before but we were always together to work through it. Not this time tho. We had a beautiful family. We had a plan for the future. At least that’s what I thought. I guess her plan was different. She has a beautiful family, once I’m out of it. Her plan for the future doesn’t include me.
This is just another in a pattern of losing all the women I’ve ever loved. Nobody stays…
This might seem different than most of the posts I make, or everybody else makes for that matter. I recently read something on depression and it mentioned how it’s very difficult to get back to or even remember how you were before your depression. You lose yourself and the lucky ones that get over their depression, don’t always know what kind of people they are, what their personality was like.
My question for you is, before this black monster crawled on top of your shoulders, what were you like?
I know this sounds silly but, would it be ideal to wear a diaper underneath a person’s clothes when it’s time to leave? Â I keep hearing different things about how people lose control of their bladder when the die.
Till this day I cry when I get touched there.Thats how fucked I am,thank you cousin.
written by lifeishorrible
Last week I went to the city jail for traffics that I thought somehow vanished.I was pissed cause I was acting all cocky when they pulled up.I was like why are y’all here were not doing anything here.They asked for my name,I gave It to them In anger,a minute later I’m being handcuffed & they told me I had nine traffic ticket warrents.I was In a shitty mode cause I was finally getting better & this shit happens so Is felt like shit on the way there.When I get there they started to search me and then he put his hands there!!I moved & said […]
my parents gave me the choice to see a psychologist since she noticed I seemed different. I accepted and was all hopeful about things getting better, but now I’m not. she cant take away my coping methods they are fucking mine. I feel so stupid that I wanted help for so long but now that I have it I don’t want it anymore. I wrote a suicide note last night, but im scared since my last attempt failed miserably :(I need to find a way that would guarantee death 🙁
and any other positive feelings. Not because I dislike positive emotions, but because I know they will not last long. And once they are over, you’re off even worse than before. It’s like life is constantly trying to show me how happy I could be only to smash all these hopes on the next occasion. I know the same thing is used in sleep deprivation where they let a subject get close to falling asleep only to wake him up with a slap in the face. It’s torture and forbidden with good reason.
My brain is naive enough to fall for the trick every single time. […]
Hello.
I’m not quite sure where to start off, but I feel so useless; as if my existence had no meaning at all.
You see, I started to cut when I was around 15 years old, and the people I loved just kept using me. I felt so ugly, and worthless, and continued cutting. Thing is, I stopped cutting for a while, but I had to do so again, since I had depression again; this time with suicidal thoughts.
I was about to kill myself, when this wonderful guy appears (he has loved me for around 1 year and a half) and suddenly makes everything better. And you […]
Yeah, I want to end my life as well. My reasons are  arm long.  I was rape at eighteen years on the day of my eighteen birthday party by my boyfriend at the time. The same boyfriend would push me against the wall, and grab my wrist with a scary look on his face. ( I left him but he help with my own emo feelings. ) The next year was my senior year. I lost MOST of my friends because one of something STUPID. I learn I had most fake friends then real friends. No one would believe me about the rape. , but […]