Since i was young i have felt a sense of belonging. I was the Football star even went to college of it. Was in the military and served in crazy places, then I was a Police officer. Now i cant see what the next step is. is it possoble that you can feel accomplished like HERO or that you have done everything. Now i feel like the world is getting smaller that verybody is covered in Bullshit or waiting for a pat on the back and thats the only reason they try. what if your back is covered with hands and you want them all […]
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done
I’m new on here, and I’ve been struggling since seventh grade really, but I’ve gotten much worse over the past few years. I’m currently a senior in high school. I’ve been to different psychologists, and none of them could help me and I just got really pissed off at them so I quit going. (Also financial reasons) But this year everyone has been just on my back every day about how I’m not trying hard enough and how I am just a failure. But I do try so hard to be the strong link. At school I get made fun of for who I […]
To those who are thinking of killing thelmselves ….STOP…take a moment to consider the reality of what will happen. Suicide is the single most selfish thing you could do. The pain you feel right now will not be gone, it will simply be transferred to the people you leave behind. They will never have a chance to say “I love you” again, they will never have a chance to give you a hug or a pat on the back for something good you may not have even known you were doing, they will never have a chance to tell you a joke and see your beautiful and unique […]
I’ve done nothing to nobody yet I’m somehow the most hated person at my school I want my life to get better but everyone makes it worse I just want everyone to leave alone why can’t people do that WHY I get it I’m a horrible person I’m an asshole I’ve done nothing right in my life but I just want this suffering to end Ive never wanted to die so badly there is no fucking god and if there is he hates me I only want the hurt to stop once just once I want this to go away I’ve tried everything and I […]
I once felt so worthless that I tried to kill myself. I stopped thinking about everyone I loved – my mum, my sisters, my dad, my grandparents and my friends. And I tried to kill myself. I set out two packets of antidepressants, a packet of sleeping tablets and a packet of prescription painkillers and I got myself a glass of water and filled up two bottles. I spent about two and a half hours taking pills, swallowing a tablet every minute or so. After about 30 tablets I started to slow down, and feel drowsy. I also kept getting up to go to the […]
I just can’t leave her. I have but I always come back to her, crawling begging for forgiveness as if I have done some unforgivable deed. I came to the realization this morning that I am frightened. That the emotional distress and pain I have felt whether it was her fault or not is not worth going through again and that for that reason I shouldn’t leave her. I told myself that if it needs to be this difficult, and I have already done it with her ( though it doesn’t get any easier), why should I have to do it all over again […]
this is my first post here I dont even know why im trying its stupid all I want is to die ive tried overdosing and cutting but I just ended up in hospital and since ive been on these new pills all ive done is make things worse I ruined 3 friendships and my relationship I messed up
why am I here…I JUST WANT TO DIE and end this hell thay is my messed up life
Seriously, only one single time, for Gods sake. I fucked up so much, I made way too many mistakes and I was too chicken to do things I should have done. I had enough chances to change something in my life and I took none. Not a single fucking chance. I guess I deserve to be here after all.
just a note to tell you what a joke tms is. all i have to do is get 3 clinics and my insurer to talk to each other! piece of cake right? my money is on the insurance denial. especially when i found the price tag. 6-12 grand! i would tell you this in person but i haven’t done my homework. not willing to go into that kind of debt just to “fix” my brain. as of this time i am still worth more dead than alive. not that anyone is keeping score.
I’m heading down a destructive path I don’t care anymore Im jut kinda done with it. I’m ignoring how I feel it builds up and I freak out have breakdowns and panic attacks. I’m not functioning right. Im to busy helping others trying to make ten happy and worrying about them that I don’t even help myself or even try to. I don’t know what to do I don’t think I want to get help anymore I’m just kinda here.
Well, she slapped me today. I was about to punch that b****. But then my father stepped in and saved the day. Woohoo. What an epic love story! (I’m about 6’0″ and 200 pounds and my mom is 5’8″ and about 140 pounds so I could’ve done some damage) god I hate them. They don’t understand me. They make me so angry I literally can’t even see I’m so mad. What idiots. They should seriously not be parents. My god.
Hey.. so my doctor just put me on this a couple days ago. I’m not really sure what to think of it. It’s supposed to help me with my moods, but is primarily given for seizures (which i don’t have).
So far i’ve been very jittery and shaky on it. My anxiety is so high that i feel like i’m constantly having a panic attack ( how my heart feels).
I’m on a small dose to start.. 25mg.
Just curious if any of you have had any experience with this drug.. and what it’s done for you.. bad or good.
I was so careful with the measurements. Yet I still woke up this morning only to a hell of a stomach ache and spewing everywhere. I thought for sure I would be done peace at last, no pressures too tug at me all day long. Just bliss and as I sat there knowing full well what I had done I grew with joy. I hugged my mom and my sister hell I even talked about cars with my step dad who I loathe. In those moments I was happy only too wake up the next day knowing my curse is still not over. Like […]
im sorry
but im done waiting
im done with this
im so done
with people hurting me
and doing that over
and over and over
again and again
a never ending cycle
i thought maybe
one more week
one more month
one more year
one more chance
i was wrong
i cant do this anymore
i thought i could get better
but i cant
i dont know how to be happy
i dont know how to do that
i dont know anymore
i was looking through a box
of old stuff earlier today
and i started crying
because there was a card
that my six […]
To go, what a pleasent idea. I have no sorrow, no pain, no blame…I think of nothing and no one…I don’t have goodbyes to make. I have no negative thoughts, fears…I just think of leaving this place simply because I’m just about done.
I was reading this book called the Van Gogh Blues. Â It’s all about how creative people suffer with depression because of a meaning complex, and it freaked me out because I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety for years, and I always figured that one day when I create something it will dissipate. Â If creating can’t bring me meaning, then what can?
Everything in my life seems so fucked, which is ridiculous because so much of it is petty or will be unimportant in six months. Â Sometimes I just feel like there’s no point and I’m such a bad person and I should die, but at the […]
What do you expect from a delinquant. I am not fucking insane even if I want to be. It would explain everything that has happened along the way with me, but all I really am is stupid and delusional and just a total crackhead. I wish I was brave enough to take my own life. Maybe someday I will be,but all that I want now is to be stong enough to die, to throw myself under a car or cut my wrists or just take a bunch of pills and never look back. I may have found the perfect way but the […]
Here I go again. I’m so done with this shit you know. How much can someone take? When do you say enough? When can you tell someone they’re the reason you wanna leave this world?
Im sorry for all that I have done. I cannot express how sorry I am about the inconvenience about the car crash, Im so sorry for all that I have done to everyone. The thing that makes me the most upset is that it could have been so much worse; I would not have been able to live with myself knowing that I put my friends in the hospital. I do not want to hurt people I want to help others; I do not know how I can forgive myself. Simple I do not think that I can forgive myself. Â I love you all so […]
My dad is always getting pissed off all day. I think he’s just really stressed all the time. And I get that but he lets his anger show all the time (a little too much for my taste) Anyways so I decided to type this up right now because I just recently witnessed my dad’s abusive parenting?(I don’t know if it was) My dad just got done screaming at my little brother for having bad grades. Not only did he scream at him but he also grabbed him tightly by the arms like he was some kind of dummy and started shaking him violently while […]